Behind the lies
by InkButterfly
Summary: Sequel to Over the secretary. Shizuo, Izaya and their daughter Emi are happy. Its coming up to their first anniversary and no one was expecting a blast from the past or what she would cause. Add to that Shizuo's insecurities, Izaya's new secretary and helping out with friends' problems its another roller-coaster ride for the poor blond.
1. Sorry diary

**Title:- **Behind the lies

**Pairing:- **Izaya x Shizuo

**Rating:- **M

**Warning:- **Izaya, intersex, Mpreg, yaoi and other stuff to do with the anatomy.

**Disclaimer:- **I don't own Durarara

**Summary:- **Sequel to Over the secretary. It's been a year since Izaya and Shizuo have been married. Everything is a perfect normal family life or so they thought. "Dear diary, today I told a lie. Not one of those small ones, no this one is big and will destroy Izaya when he finds out. We forgot about them, while we lived happily married and the consequences were dangerous. But I couldn't do it, I couldn't take a life and now the time bomb inside me might take mine instead. I'm sorry."

_A/N:- Back again. I wasn't going to do a sequel but certain things popped into my head and the story idea just literally stalked me into writing it. Which is okay because I felt that the last one didn't end properly, it felt more like the end to a chapter than a story. Besides this now trilogy is the one I love writing the most. If it plans out like it does in my head then this will be gushy fluffy drama. So yeah, enjoy and as usual let me know what you think. _

**Sorry diary **

_Dear diary, it's been a while. I know Izaya doesn't go to lengths to read what I write any more. Even if you are kept in the locked box that acts as my sanctuary, I find that I just don't have time to write my feelings down. Maybe it's because I don't have to. _

_You see even with what I am, I'm happy. So ridiculously happy with the things currently are. I guess I've been neglecting you with my life being so hectic. I doubt you even remember me, though I know you're not real or have thoughts or judgement over what I fill your pages with. Even so this is how I dealt with my hidden feelings for so long it makes me feel slightly guilty. Just in case you don't recognise me..._

_I'm Shizuo Heiw- no that's not right. I'm Shizuo Orihara now. Almost a year ago I married my -I guess you could say husband- Izaya. That's a surprise right? Everyone I cared about was at the ceremony, including my adorable daughter. That's an even bigger surprise right? At one point you were the first to know everything and now you're the last to know. I guess I should start at the beginning._

_I was born Shizuo Heiwajima. I'm what you'd call a hermaphrodite which I can't even pronounce, it's intersex for short. Although mainly male, I have female parts as well. You can imagine how that went. In high school while the other boys in my class were comparing the size of their junk, I was more concerned with hiding my secret and worrying if the pad was going to hold or if I'd bleed through my gym uniform. _

_Add to that the abnormal strength which was a lot harder to hide and you can see how hard it was growing up. Completely confused about who I was with my mother wanting a girl and my father a boy, I created an alter ego with the help of my brother Kasuka._

_Shizuka Hanejima, my weekend self and the one that took over when it was that time of the month. It wasn't really healthy but it worked. I had my double life. That was until my boss and now husband Izaya found out. Izaya is... How do I say this? God complexed, narcissistic, arrogant, egotistical, easily jealous, possessive and the love of my life. _

_When Izaya or the flea as I call him wants something he'll do everything in his power to get it. Which is why it took him less than a single month to destroy everything I had spent years working on to protect myself. Don't worry he helped me pick myself back up and rebuild my life. Just with him included in the very centre._

_Things sort of went from high to very low when I gave him my female virginity and he proposed. That was until I fell pregnant and had a breakdown. Neither Izaya, Celty or Shinra will tell me what happened. Not even now that it's all over. I have a feeling it was bad knowing my strength and the fact the flea felt the need to hide his injuries made it all that much worse._

_Anyway what's done is done. There were a few complications but I gave birth to a healthy baby girl- in an elevator. No matter how many times I told Izaya to fix it, he didn't leading to a rather uncomfortable situation with the flea having to deliver his own child._

_We called her Emi and everyone adores her, spoiling her rotten. The problem is that she's a little too smart for her own good and now uses her innocence to get her own way just like her father. _

_I had to tell everyone my secret, even Kadota who took it sort of well. Yeah he got drunk and kissed me in front of Izaya. Still we've glossed over that a long time ago. Kadota is now living with Vorona who has had their first child, a cute baby boy which they called Rai. They aren't the only ones. Karisawa and Walker had their child, a beautiful baby girl, Miki. Emi has a lot of friends._

_Izaya and I couldn't love our little girl more. We'll be the best parents and make sure she's always smiling. Unlike my own. Do you know how it feels to imagine everything you want in your mother and father, then you actually meet that person? For me the perfect role model is Izaya's mother. _

_You can feel the love from her, the warmth, the kindness...everything I want for Emi. Regarding my own parents, it's slow but we're making progress. Things began to change when my father revealed that he too was intersex and my mother received a particularly nasty slap from Kyouko, which knocked some sense into her._

_They even came to the wedding. Would you believe they sent me a Christmas present? All of it wouldn't be possible if not for Izaya. He was the start of everything. Anyway I almost didn't walk down the aisle. A little cold feet... I don't really want to think about what would've happened if I hadn't gone through with it. _

_Well I did becoming Shizuo Orihara. It's now three weeks until our first anniversary. Sure there have been small arguments like usual and our sex life has drastically declined. It might be that we're both getting older and have long passed the honeymoon phase. Speaking of which. When you tell someone not to do something, they'll do it anyway. Of course when I threatened the flea he still tried to pick me up...that's all I'll say about that. _

_In the year since we've been married things have settled down. Minus the screaming children and like I said a few arguments. Don't worry it's nothing like the one where I walked out on Izaya and he took Emi away from me. These are little childish tantrums. No marriage is perfect, besides sometimes I think it's better to release some steam._

_I know that I can't be calm all the time, the sweets only go so far. I haven't smoked a single cigarette since I was pregnant with Emi. I know I could've started again but second hand smoke isn't good. So I haven't. I know it's why the flea deliberately provokes me so I don't bottle things up again. _

_Izaya still runs his own company TGOI which stands for The Great Orihara Industries...I did say he was god complexed. It leaves me free during the day and a little lonely since Emi has started school. See where as Izaya works during the day, I work at night. I'm a bartender working in Artic. _

_I guess we don't see a lot of each other any more but Sunday is our day when we can catch up. There are a couple of things Izaya doesn't know. It's nothing major. I should be used to it by now. See I'm the only one that takes Emi to school and picks her up. _

_The other is when I thought something was wrong with my best friend Celty. One day a couple of months back she walks into the bar, takes a seat at one of the tables and just sits there. When I said hello it was like she didn't even know me. _

_The first thing I did was call Shinra who asked me if I wanted Celty. Ever heard of a double ganger? That's what I thought the woman was. She looked identical to Celty in every way, except for the scar across her slim throat. She didn't talk either. _

_Needless to say she turns up at the bar everyday. Now instead of sitting at the tables, Mika- as she finally introduced herself- sits at the bar looking like she's waiting for someone. It's probably because she looks so much like my friend that I want to help. It's not like she's a replacement or anything, I just can't help it._

_Another friend, only this one doesn't know my secret. Through our conversations on napkins and the small ordering pad, I know Mika lives with her boyfriend who's never home. I feel sorry for her. I guess I should let Izaya know but it feels good having a couple of secrets from the man that knows absolutely everything about me and I mean everything. _

_The end of last week I woke up to find a hot water bottle, pads and a bag of chocolate at the end of the bed. That morning I came on, two days earlier than I should have. I have no idea how he knew. _

_I suppose you're wondering how I have time to write this if I've been so busy. You see I'm looking after my childish husband- damn. (That still doesn't sound right. I hate the term wife, lets just stick with lover.) Something has finally taken the god complexed flea down. The common cold. _

_Yep, Izaya is confined to our bed after he tried to pull an all nighter. A little sniffle turned into a full blown cold. He's sleeping at the moment leaving me bored. Well not quite bored. In an hour I have to pick up Emi from school. Standing by the gate listening to the overly loud whispers. Ugh._

_So now you're up to date like everyone else in my life. I have to go now. It looks like Izaya is waking up, I'll have to make some soup and see if he'll keep that down. Hopefully I'll have time to write again soon. Now I just need to figure out what to get as a present for our first anniversary. _

Shizuo sighed the pen stopping as he finished. Placing the cap back on the black ink pen the diary snapped shut. On the bed Izaya stirred the blankets slipping. Quickly returning the diary to the box, Shizuo snapped the lid shut fingers smudging over the numbers to lock it again.

"Izaya?" He asked gently leaning over the bed. The raven had warned him about getting too close not wanting him to catch his cold. Watery crimson orbs blinked up at him in confusion.

"Shizu-chaaaaan?" Izaya sneezed hitting his head against the headboard. Wordlessly Shizuo handed over a tissue. "Dank you." Came the sniffled response. Covering a smile he tried not to think of pinching those rosy cheeks.

"No problem. Do you want anything to eat?" There was still time before he had to pick up their daughter.

"You're endoying this, aren't you?" His lover pointed out accusingly. The blond shrugged knowing he had been caught out.

"...maybe a little." He confessed. "Don't look at me like that. You're always taking care of me. Now it's my turn."

"Hm. Achoo." Izaya wiped his nose looking miserable. "Dought so. My head hurts. Don't you have to pick up Emi?"

"I still have time." Besides the longer he didn't have to go anywhere near the school the better. Reaching into his pocket the blond pulled out one of his lollipops, a smile on his lips seeing the flavour was strawberry and cream, the wrapper was torn away and dropped in the small bin beside him.

"Shizu-chan." The god complexed flea groaned huskily. Shizuo gulped seeing the sick raven lean towards him. The creamy tasting candy between his lips paused. He knew that look well. The effect hadn't diminished if anything with the rosy cheeks, watery eyes that made sharp crimson look brighter, it made it worse. "I wadda be that lollipop."

"Woah!" Shizuo groaned rocking back on the small children's stool his legs flying high as he toppled to the floor landing on his back. "D-did you want anything to eat?" The blond forced out twirling the lolly stick.

"No. I'll be fine. Go get Emi." Izaya grumbled snuggling back under the thick covers, tissues clasped in one hand.

"Okay. See you soon. Try and get some sleep." With that he quickly left the bedroom resisting his sick husband's charms. It was time to pick up their daughter. With a long sigh Shizuo snatched up the keys from the supposed to be fruit bowl, slipping them into his back pocket.

"Make sure you rest, Izaya." The blond glanced back seeing that the bedroom door firmly closed. On the arm of the sofa was a drivers theory book which he had been having trouble memorising. Yes he was learning to drive, not helped by his lover of course.

x-x-x

"Mama!" His daughter cried running towards him. Shizuo froze glancing around him. As usual there were other parents staring at him and whispering to each other. "Mama!" Even so he opened his arms pulling the little girl into a big hug. A small giggle sounded next to his ear.

"Did you have a good day?" Shizuo asked taking the red backpack and cap with the schools insignia and lifting Emi high to sit safely on his shoulders. She loved heights and it meant he could walk as fast as he could without worrying about his little girl tripping over.

"Yep. We did painting today. I drew a picture of all of us." Shizuo grinned feeling long mousy brown hair tickle the nape of his neck.

"Did you? Your father is resting at home so you'll have to be really quiet. Okay?" Small arms wrapped around his head.

"Okay, mama. Did you make him stay in bed?" Emi asked innocently.

"Yeah. Your father is finally resting. You'll have to be careful not to catch his cold."

"Yes mama. Mama, you're my mama aren't you?" Shizuo slowed to a halt wishing that Celty was here with them. Unfortunately Aiko and Celty had food poisoning after Shinra had to try and cook a meal full of his love for the both of them.

"Of course I am. Your father took a lot of pictures when I was pregnant with you...why? Did someone say something to you?"

"When I drew my picture, someone asked me where mama was. They said you couldn't be my mama because you are a man." Ah. Shizuo gently lifted Emi from his shoulders cradling her in his arms. He had been expecting this very conversation to come up but when she was a lot older.

"I am your mother. I love you more than anyone else in this entire world."

"Okay. Mama, how are babies made?" Shizuo felt his cheeks flush in embarrassment. One question was more than enough but two?

"Uh, ask your father when he's better. Okay?" Curious crimson stared up at him.

"Yes mama." That meant that they at least had a few days until either him or Izaya had to explain everything. "Can we stop for cake?"

"Not today, sweetie. Let's go home." He was beginning to feel sick again.

"Pleeeeeease?" Emi asked again. Just like her father. He didn't have it in him to refuse the second time. His daughter's eyes lit up knowing she had got her own way.

"Fine. Only one though and you have to eat all of your dinner." Emi giggled clapping her small hands together.

x-x-x

By the time they got home Shizuo felt physically sick. His limbs were shaky, his vision blurring. Lifting Emi from his shoulders he gently placed her to the floor forcing a smile. "Dada. Dada." There sitting on the sofa was Izaya looking awful, a blanket draped over his shoulders.

So much for making sure Emi didn't catch it. "Hello sweetie, I missed you." Even so he couldn't fault Izaya on wanting to spend more time with their daughter. "Did you have a good day?"

Leaving them to it Shizuo rubbed a hand across his head not surprised in the least that he had a cold sweat. "I think mama caught your cold." Glancing up he found both of them looking over the sofa at him.

"Is that so? I'll have to check later."

"I'm fine. You should be in bed." Striding over the the sofa he picked up the sick raven with ease.

"Shizu-chaaaaan! I feel fine." Shizuo didn't bother to retort. In the bedroom he dropped Izaya back on the bed. "I have work to go t-t-t-atchoo." Giving the raven a look he handed over the packet of tissues. As he turned to leave a hand clamped down on his wrist.

"I don't want your cold, Izaya."

"Whad wrong?" Somehow his lover wasn't very persuasive when he was sick.

"Nothing, I'm going to see what Emi is up to."

"Liar." Shrugging his shoulders the blond tugged his wrist free. Opening the door Shizuo looked down seeing his little girl standing outside an ear to the door. "Didn't teach her dat." The raven defended with a sniffle.

"Hi mama." Wide eyes crimson stared up at him innocently. No he knew it wasn't Izaya that taught her to eavesdrop. Things like that she usually learnt from Mairu, Kururi or Karisawa. Maybe even Shinra from his overly protective and perhaps stalkerish attitude towards Celty and Aiko.

It wasn't a good idea to mention them at the moment or risk Emi playing the Aiko has a little brother I want one too track. It made him feel guilty and irritated Izaya to no end. Their little girl didn't understand that though. It wasn't her fault.

"What are you doing?" Shizuo asked slowly in the same voice he used when Emi had done something wrong. In the bed Izaya coughed.

"Uh oh. Someone upset your mummy." The raven cooed. Turning his head the blond raised an eyebrow. Sometimes it was hard to tell who the child in the family was.

**Next:- **Broken ring


	2. Broken ring

**Broken ring**

_A/N:- Thank you for the reviews. Just a few facts. Izaya and Shizuo got together in 2011. Emi was born in 2012. Izaya and Shizuo married in 2017 putting this story in 2018. And on we go. Enjoy. _

Shizuo sighed curling up on the sofa reaching for his drivers theory book. Izaya was fast asleep after eating and throwing up the soup he had made. He had put Emi to bed almost ten minutes ago. Learning to drive wasn't fun at all. None of the rules seemed to sink in.

"Mama." Came a call from the stairs. Glancing up his daughter stood on the third from bottom step in her pink nightdress.

"Again?" Shizuo muttered under his breath. It was the same routine every night. Leaving the book on the sofa, the blond walked over to the stairs scooping a giggling Emi up. "Why aren't you sleeping?" He asked carrying her back to her room.

The walls were a soft pink colour, the curtains white, the same as the chest of drawers and closet. In the corner of the room was a double bed with thick white and pink covers to keep her warm. "You didn't read me a story." His daughter replied struggling to get down.

When he gently let her down, Emi ran over to the small white bookcase with pink stars. "Okay. Pick one you want me to read." Looking over at the bed he knew what was missing,the small stool which was currently in his bedroom.

"This one!" Came a happy and far from asleep chime. His little girl ran back to her bed handing him a thin book with a red spine. "Little red riding hood."

Shizuo sighed taking the book. Every single book on the shelf had been read a dozen times. "Okay. You're not allowed to ask questions." Opening the first page Shizuo took a deep breath. "Once upon a time there was a little gir-"

"When was it?" The blond sighed shaking his head. Izaya was to blame for this.

"I don't know. It's a story." Placing a finger against Emi's lips he took a seat on the edge of the bed. "-there was a little girl named little red riding hood. She was called that because of the red cloak she always wore."

"Why did she wear red? What if she wore blue? Or yellow?" Emi questioned sitting up again.

"Then I guess she'd be known as little blue hood or little yellow hood. What did I say about questions?" Shizuo scolded lightly.

"Not to ask them. What if she didn't wear a cloak at all?" The blond sighed letting his head drop. "Sorry mama, carry on." Little fingers lifted, Emi putting them over her lips. Shizuo smiled at the action.

"One day her mother handed little red riding hood a basket of freshly baked cookies. "Take these to your grandmother on the other side of the forest. Don't stop or talk to strangers." Her mother said. With that little red riding hood kissed her mother taking the basket and leaving the cottage."

"Mama. Why was little red riding hood allowed out on her own? Why didn't she go with her mother?" Shizuo sighed stopping again. "You and dada don't let me out on my own."

"That's because you're still young and it's dangerous to go around without us."

"Little red riding hood looks young and her mother let her go." Shaking his head Shizuo ruffled his daughter's long hair.

"Because little red riding hood's mother was irresponsible. Can I continue or did you want to ask something else?" In response Emi swayed easily caught in his arms. "To be continued." He smiled placing a soft kiss against her forehead.

"Mm. Goodnight mama. I love you." Shizuo smiled softly pulling the covers up to her chin.

"I love you too. Get some sleep." Slowly leaving the room his fingers rested on the light switch flicking it down. There wasn't a single peep coming from his sleeping daughter.

Heading down the stairs Shizuo sighed taking a seat on the sofa curling up, the book resting on his knees. Before he had even read the first sentence, the bedroom door opened. "Shizu-chan? Whad are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?" His husband sniffled trudging to the sofa, a thick blanket wrapped around him.

"I called in and said I couldn't come in. I can't leave you alone." Shizuo caught Izaya's sharp gaze glancing at the book in his hands. "What's wrong you're usually trying to get me to quit."

The miserable raven sniffed taking a seat next to him. "It's fine. Dou enjoy it. I'll be fine. Go to work Shizu-chan." Blinking in surprise the blond glanced suspiciously at Izaya. Well that was new. Everyday he had worked at Artic instead of TGOI, Izaya had played the come back and work for me record. Now he had changed his tune.

"All right. If anything happens call me. Make sure you rest. You are the owner of TGOI. Who's going to run it if you're sick?" Shizuo paused when he didn't get an answer, not even a jokey one. "...guess I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah, I'll try and get some sleep. See you in the morning." With a kiss upon his forehead Shizuo redid his bow tie already wearing his uniform. Checking he had his phone and keys the blond left for his job already dialling Shiki.

x-x-x

Artic was bustling as always. It looked like Shiki hadn't informed the others that he was coming in after all. Vorona was currently out on maternity leave looking after her and Kadota's child. The relief on Anri's face was evident. Striding over to the bar Shizuo lifted the hatch. "I've got this." He grabbed the bottle of vodka taking over from serving the customer. "Single or double?"

"Single." Nodding his head, Shizuo reached for a clean glass pouring out the correct amount.

"Ice?"

"No thanks." Shrugging in response the blond grabbed the nozzle filling the glass with coke. The beat changed filling the bar with a fun tune. It looked like Akabayashi was in a very good mood. Anri cleaned the tables bringing the glasses back.

There in the corner on the last bar stool sat Ce- no it wasn't Celty. Mika. Even now he still mistook the woman for his best friend. Serving his current customer Shizuo found his gaze focusing on the near empty glass sitting in front of her.

"Pint of bitter mate." Shizuo growled reaching for a pint glass. Punching in the amount on the cash register the blond took the guy's money trying not to slam the pint down. Inching over to the end stool, Shizuo took out the pen from his pocket biting the cap off. _Are you okay? _He scrawled across one of the napkins sliding it across the bar.

_I'm fine. _Mika wrote back a small smile on her lips. With that the woman downed what was in the glass leaving her seat. Shizuo watched her leave feeling a pang in his chest. "How many has she had?" He asked Anri on her next trip back.

"Six or seven. Neat vodka, doubles." Which explained why something felt wrong. If Mika could talk no doubt she would have been slurring. As it was her steps had been dangerously unsteady.

"I'm going after her. Sorry, could you let Shiki-san know?" The raven nodded placing the used glasses down. Muttering another apology Shizuo ran from Artic looking left and right trying to spot the drunken woman.

"Mika-chan!" He called seeing her cornered by three men. Shaking his head he let his vision turn red running towards them fists clenched. As he got closer he could see the terrified and confused look on Mika's face. "Get away from her!" Shizuo growled smashing his fist into the bigger man's gut.

Like a lead weight the man was down. The other two took a look at their fallen comrade. Instead of taking the hint and running, both of them turned to him knives pointed. The flimsy pieces of metal bent between his fingers. His eyes widened not at the cuts across his skin from the sharp edges but at the more precious ring that split falling into his palm.

Almost a year and the precious ring that bound him and Izaya together had broken. Shizuo stared at the pieces mournfully. He had noticed the ring feeling thinner, from his constant use of strength the poor ring was the one to take the brunt. Now it was broken. Slipping the two halves carefully into his pocket, Shizuo growled grabbing the heads of Mika's attackers slamming them together.

The pair fell to the ground landing on the third, all of them unconscious. In the bright light illuminating them he could see the indent where the ring had sat all this time. "Damn it. Where do you live, Mika-chan?"

The drunken woman collapsed in his arms making hand gestures. Gently lifting her up, the blond sighed knowing he would have to apologise to Shiki. Taking his phone from his pocket and handing it over, Shizuo waited for jittery fingers to type in the details he needed. It took a while.

x-x-x

The apartment was small and clean, it looked like Mika lived on her own instead of with her boyfriend. Carrying the drunken woman inside Shizuo closed the door with his foot. At the sound the woman that looked so much like Celty stirred, blinking up at him.

The apartment had a strange clinical smell. On the coat rack hung what looked like a white lab coat. Maybe her boyfriend was a doctor like Shinra. "I brought you home." Shizuo soothed gently letting her down. Mika swayed slightly but looked more steady on her feet.

_Thanks. _She typed still in possession of his phone. It looked like she would be okay. _Can you stay and have a drink with me? _Shizuo opened his mouth to refuse, closing it when Celty's image overlapped.

"Do you have any hot chocolate?" He found himself asking instead, dropping down to sit at the kotatsu. One drink and then he would go back. "Do you need any help?" Shizuo called out worried that the woman would burn herself. His fingers drummed nervously against the thick wood. "I should probably text Izaya." He muttered to himself reaching into his empty pockets. "Or maybe Shiki-san." He added as an afterthought. Firstly though he needed to get his phone back.

Pulling his hand out Shizuo sighed seeing what he would rather forget in his palm. His broken wedding ring. Mika walked unsteadily towards him carrying two hot drinks. Standing quickly the blond took both of them before they ended up over him. "Thanks. I'm going to need my phone back."

_Sorry. Do you want any marshmallows? _Shizuo blinked at the question glancing down at the frothy hot chocolate. "No, I'm okay with this. Do you have anyone you could call? Your boyfriend?" Mika shook her head nursing what smelt like ridiculously strong coffee.

_Yeah. I've been living here for a few months, he probably won't come though. _Shizuo sighed letting her hold onto his phone. As long as she didn't drunk text anyone it should be fine. _You look sad. Is that ring important? _

Taking a sip of his drink, Shizuo picked up the pieces. "Yeah, it's my wedding ring. I'd say it's not even a year old but that would be a lie. Do you have any tape?"

_I think so, let me have a look. _Mika went to get up staggering slightly. Grabbing her arm he used a little of his strength to steady her. "Don't worry about it. I'll get some back at the bar." Dropping the pieces back in his pocket, Shizuo gulped a mouthful of the rich chocolate wincing as he burnt his tongue.

_Okay. Sorry._ Shizuo sighed reading yet another apology. "It's fine." He blinked not realising how tired he felt. Maybe he had already caught Izaya's cold. Steadying himself the blond drained the rest of the mug. "Fuck." He cursed. The last thing he needed was to get sick. Then who was going to look after Emi?

Holding out his hand for his phone, Shizuo pushed himself up collapsing back on his butt. "S-sorry." He muttered his eyelids drooping. Looks like there was no chance of going back to work like this. "Can you call-" tipping to the side Shizuo felt his world go dark.

x-x-x

Shizuo groaned rubbing his eyes. Daylight filtered in through the apartment casting a glare over his face. "Ugh." Two thoughts passed through his mind as he bolted upright throwing the covers back. Where the hell was he and what time was it?

Quickly climbing out of the futon, Shizuo got to his feet glancing around the room. No decorations, nothing to say there was a person with a personality living there. Leaving the room he found Mika sitting at the kotatsu looking like she had been crying. Scratching his head, the blond groaned inwardly. "Are you okay?"

At the sound of his voice the woman jumped turning around to look up at him. His phone remained untouched on the table along with his wedding ring. "You found the tape after all? Thanks C-Mika." Shizuo berated himself for confusing the woman for Celty again. Glancing at the coat rack he could see the lab coat was gone. "I should probably get home, Emi will be waking up soon." If she wasn't already awake.

Scooping up his phone and the ring he slipped both into his pocket. "Try not to drink so much next time. Too much alcohol is bad for your body." Shizuo scolded finding himself ruffling the woman's soft hair. "Or next time I could just refuse to serve you." The woman smiled softly looking like...damn it. "See you. Make sure you keep your door locked."

Where was his lollipops when he needed them? With a sigh he left the still upset woman alone. It looked like his cold had already passed. Maybe it was because of his strength he had better immunity, either way whatever was wrong with him had passed.

x-x-x

He was met with silence as he unlocked the front door. Closing it behind him Shizuo kicked off his shoes. Shiki would most likely be pissed off with him which meant he would be faced with the ice king yakuza.

That he would worry about tonight when he had to go into work. For now it was Saturday morning and Emi had a play date. "E-" before he could call his daughter to get out of bed, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

_Sorry Shizuo, we're still sick. Emi won't be able to come around today. _Shizuo sighed in disappointment. He had been looking forward to seeing both Celty and her baby boy Kenta.

_It's fine. Get well soon. _He text back slipping his phone back in his pocket. Glancing upstairs Shizuo decided to let Emi sleep in. She was going to be disappointed. Pushing open the door to their shared bedroom, his gaze focused on the lump under the covers.

x-x-x

Stepping quietly over to the bed Shizuo sat down on the bed smiling as he saw a mop of raven hair sticking out from the covers. Slowly pulling the covers back he could see his lover sleeping in discomfort. Although he hated anyone he cared about getting sick, he did admit looking after the man who always took care of him felt nice.

Even if he had to look after a sweaty flea. Izaya's raven bangs were plastered to his forehead, the black pyjama top was pretty much a second skin, the first button had been undone showing his lover's chest. Undoing the rest of the buttons, Shizuo carefully inched it over Izaya's slim shoulders.

Slipping back off the bed, the blond grabbed the damp cloth he had brought with him, gently dabbing it across Izaya's chest, wiping the perspiration away. His fingers carefully lifted the raven bangs. Glancing up he found blurry crimson staring up at him. "Shizu-chan?"

"Morning. How you feeling?" The raven groaned pushing himself up.

"Better. I hate being sick, did I mention that?" Shizuo smiled sitting back against the headboard.

"Every time you wake up." Catching sight of his empty finger, the blond slipped his hand into his pocket out of sight. "Celty text me. They're still sick."

"Oh, Emi will be disappointed." Crimson orbs twinkled mischievously. "Hm, aren't you going to continue? I quite like having you molest me in my sleep." Izaya purred.

"Looks like you're feeling better, I'm sure you can make it to the bat-" his lips were stolen, Izaya kissing him full on. So much for a sick, helpless man. Parting his lips his own muscle flicked out. "Mm." Coffee eyes widened the door handle being pulled down. "Izaya!" Shizuo hissed pushing his husband away.

"Mama. I'm ready!" Emi chirped excitedly, already wearing a pink frilly dress and her white and pink fur trimmed coat. Sharing a glance with Izaya, Shizuo sighed slipping from the bed. "Let's go. Let's go. I want to show Aiko my new plushie."

"Emi, you know yesterday Celty wasn't with us?" His little girl nodded. "Celty, Shinra and Aiko all got food poisoning. We can't go and see them today." Wide eyed crimson blinked filling with tears. "Since your father is sick too, we'll have to stay here today." Shizuo explained crouched down, a hand on her small shoulder.

"Shizu-chan, I'll be fine by-"

"So do you want to bake cakes?" The adorable pout turned into a toothy grin. "We'll make some for Aiko and Celty when they get better." Small arms looped around his neck squeezing tightly.

"Yep. I'll choose a cake." His little girl shot off like a bolt.

"I suppose I'll put up with the sickly sweet smell." Izaya rolled his eyes. "Just remember I'll be completely recovered by tomorrow and then I'll have you to myself." Shizuo shivered seeing the undisguised lust in his lover's gaze.

"...That's if your ass is outta that bed, flea." He finally managed, giving Izaya a quick peck on the lips before a childish giggle rang out. Raising a brow he met his lover's gaze.

"That wasn't me." Izaya pouted shuffling back down under the covers. Shizuo gave him a look. "Shizu-chan, I do not sound like a child."

"Debatable and you do act like one. Are you sure you don't want to help out?" At that the raven grimaced tossing the covers over his head. "Guess that's a no. If you change your mind..." Another giggle sounded this time when he turned to look he caught small fingers holding onto the door frame. "Emi. What did I say about watching us?" His little girl giggled again.

**Next:- sweet things**


	3. Sweet things

**Sweet things**

"Breakfast first." Shizuo called. As soon as he left the bedroom though, he knew it wouldn't be that way. With a sigh he gave up not wanting to deal with a temper tantrum this early in the morning.

**"**Mama!" Emi was sitting by the front door pulling off her shoes. Shizuo watched the slightly pouting child unzip her coat reaching up to place it on the lowest part of the coat rack.

"Careful." He chastised gently catching his daughter as she ran and tripped. Setting her down she was off again, this time opening the cupboard under the sink where they kept the first aid kit and recipe books. "Choose what you want to make." Shizuo pulled out a thick colourful book full of step by step recipes for deserts.

Emi took it from him setting it down on the table and flipping through the pages. Shizuo leaned back against the counter watching her. Most likely she would choose the picture that looked the best. "This one." Taking the book back an eyebrow raised seeing the plain cookies.

"Are you sure?" It was different from all the other dairy sweets and treats.

"Yep. Dada doesn't like sweet things. He'll eat these though, right?" Shizuo smiled feeling his heart melt. Crouching down he drew Emi into his arms lifting her with him as he stood back up.

"Sure he will. Your father will eat anything you make. What ingredients do we need? Let's see flour, sugar, butter, an egg and vanilla extract." Opening the cupboard the blond smiled seeing what he needed. Kyouko was the one that had got him into baking, it was a way where he and his mother could finally be in the same room without things becoming awkward.

Today though it would just be him and his little girl. Placing the book on the side, Shizuo pulled the ingredients down placing them on the counter. Besides it would be a good thing to teach Emi. Izaya was already influencing her in all sorts of ways. Whether it was asking the questions no one wanted to answer or picking things up really quickly. It sort of made him feel left out.

"Found the eggs and butter, mama." Taking the rest away, Shizuo skimmed over the recipe. "Then we need a bowl, a rolling pin and some cutters." Emi was already running to get them. Holding out his arms in front of him Shizuo undid the button on his cuffs pushing them up.

Emi was excited and he didn't want to waste time getting changed. With a sigh he reached for the apron slipping it over his head. "Mine too. Mine too." His daughter chimed reaching up for the much smaller apron. The white one with the pink teddy bear on it. Handing it over he helped tie up the strings on the back.

"Should we get started then?" Shizuo asked taking out the measuring scales.

"Yeah." In the next room he could hear coughing.

"Wait here, don't touch anything." The last thing he needed was to rush Emi to the hospital if she hurt herself. He had promised himself there would be no interruptions yet here he was jumping at the first sign of Izaya's suffering.

There was his lover huddled in a blanket trying to sneak up the stairs where his home office was located, a tissue squeezed in his hand. "Shouldn't you be resting?" For once-when Emi wasn't involved - he was the one in charge.

"I only have a few things to do. Ooh apron. Looking good Shizu-chan."

"Weak." Shizuo muttered used to Izaya's displays of affection. Not a day passed without the raven telling him he was beautiful, how much he loved him and other soppy romantic stuff that his lover should be ashamed of even uttering. He knew it was to help boost his confidence, strengthening the anchor that kept him grounded. Izaya was trying to soothe his deep rooted insecurities that wouldn't go away even after he had forgiven his parents.

"Aw you wo-" Izaya broke off in a coughing fit. Shizuo only gave him an unimpressed I told you so look. "Fine. I wouldn't want to miss out on tomorrow." His lover grumbled placing a hand over his mouth as he coughed again. Watching the raven trudge back to the bedroom, the blond nodded in satisfaction turning his attention back to Emi.

Pulling out a large wooden stool which Emi sat on when she wanted to help with dinner, Shizuo placed it at the counter, lifting his daughter up before she tried to climb up by herself. "Hold the bowl for me." Small hands held the glass bowl while he opened and measured the ingredients.

"That's the sugar." He commented dumping the correct amount in the bowl. "And that's the butter." The electric whisk that Kyouko had let him borrow was broken leaving him to make do with a hand one. Taking the bowl away Shizuo held it in the crook of his arm beating the mixture.

"Mama is it done yet?" Emi asked holding onto the side.

"Not yet. It has to look light and creamy." Shizuo groaned hearing something snap. With a resigned sigh he placed the bowl back down throwing the handle of the whisk in the bin whilst he fished out the whisk. Dumping it in the bin his little girl laughed.

Luckily everything was brought to accommodate his strength. So opening the drawer he took out another whisk trying to be more gentle this time. "I want to do it too." Shizuo smiled placing the bowl down in front of Emi who was grinning in excitement.

"Gently does it and stop. Now we need to add the egg." It was the worst bit and right out of ten times he would mess it up. That was why he held the egg over a smaller bowl tapping it gently on the side. Gently was something he struggled with. As always the yolk slid into the bowl along with most of the egg shell. "D-" covering his mouth he stopped himself cursing in front of his daughter.

"Mama, was that supposed to happen?" Emi asked innocently staring up at him with wide eyes. Shaking his head Shizuo spent the next few minutes picking out egg shell inwardly cursing his inadequate baking skills. At this point Kyouko would usually rest a hand on his arm telling him that it was okay, that everyone had things they were good at.

Sifting the flour went much easier and this time the hand whisk remained in one piece. Taking it in turns he and Emi formed the mixture into a ball of dough. When it was kneaded enough Shizuo wrapped it on cling film placing it in the fridge. "Half an hour." The blond muttered setting the egg timer. "Enough time for you to have breakfast. Come on, let's get you cleaned up." Emi smiled holding up her cookie mixture covered hands.

x-x-x

Half and hour later and Shizuo had the lump of dough on the side smoothing it out with the rolling pin. Emi was sitting back on the high stool going through the cookie cutters. When he was sure of the thickness, Shizuo stepped back letting his little girl take over. He would have let her hold the rolling pin but had been fearful a small amount of pressure would hurt her.

Not that it made a difference to Emi. She was more than happy with the task she had been given. "This one is for mama and dada." Emi smiled holding up the heart cutter and pressing it down into the dough. Shizuo carefully picked them up placing them on the baking tray. "This one is for Aiko." The teddy bear cutter was pressed down. "These ones can be for Celty and Shinra."

Once his daughter was done and the baking tray was full of shaped dough, Shizuo took the tray opening the door to the preheated oven and slid the tray onto one of the shelves, setting the timer for ten minutes. "Now we wait."

x-x-x

Less than twenty minutes later and the plate was covered in light golden brown cookies. "This one is for dada." With that Emi jumped down recklessly from the stool his quick reflexes catching her. Shizuo sighed shaking his head as the plain heart cookie was held lightly in small hands.

"Dada!" Shizuo held the door open seeing Izaya poke his head out from the covers. It looked like the raven had listened to him and gone back to sleep. "For you." Crimson orbs narrowed on the cookie.

"Oh, did you make it? It looks very...pretty." Shizuo sighed softly seeing his daughter climb up onto the bed.

"Yep. Me and mama made them. This one is yours, we have to decorate the rest."

"Sweetie, your father is still sick. Let's save it for later." He could see Izaya didn't want to eat it.

"But dada is almost better, right?" The heart shaped cookie was plucked from small fingers. In front of his eyes Izaya took a bite of the cookie. For someone that didn't like sweet things his lover looked like he was enjoying it, though he knew that was a mask to keep Emi happy. "Is it good?"

"Yeah, thank you sweetie." Shizuo watched Izaya eat the rest of the cookie knowing he probably wanted to spit it out. But for their daughter's smile the raven would endure it.

"Hehe. Mama I want to decorate your one now." Emi was already sliding from the bed running from the room. Reaching into his pocket Shizuo pulled out the packet of mints he had found in the cupboard. Tossing them onto the bed, the raven caught the packet with ease.

"Thanks, Shizu-chan." Izaya tore open the packet popping a mint into his mouth.

"Mm. I didn't think you would eat it."

"Hm is that so? You know I'd do anything for my Shizu-chan and our little girl. Is it safe leaving her to her own devices?" Shizuo sighed shaking his head.

"I'd better keep an eye on her. I'll try to stop her making anything else for you. Emi!" Shizuo left the bedroom seeing his daughter standing in the kitchen waiting patiently for him. "What are you up to?" He asked surprised that she hadn't tried climbing up on the stool.

"I was waiting for you mama. What colours do you want?" Emi grinned holding up the icing pens.

"How about red?" Shizuo took the rest of the pens away lifting her up to sit back on the stool. Gently taking the red icing pen Shizuo unscrewed the cap handing it over.

x-x-x

Shizuo smiled scooping Emi up after she had finished decorating the various cookies. The side was a mess but easy enough to clear up. For now there was someone messy who needed cleaning. "Come on, bath time. Keep those sticky hands away."

"Okay mama. I'll get my clothes."

"Oh no you don't. I'll get your clothes, you can wait in the bath. Izaya! Can you bathe Emi?" The steam might do the raven good. The bedroom door opened Izaya poking his head around the door.

"I thought you wanted me in bed?"

"Don't be a smart ass. The steam might do you some good."

"Mama what's a smart ass?" Shizuo shook his head. Emi giggled holding out her sticky fingers for Izaya. "Dada!"

"Come on then, let's get you cleaned up. You can tell me everything you're doing in school." Shizuo froze trying not to let Izaya see how it affected him.

x-x-x

Opening Emi's closet Shizuo picked out a peach coloured dress with a flower embroided at the bottom along with white tights, panties and a warm cardigan. Carrying the bundle back downstairs the blond reached into his pocket moving the broken ring around his palm.

Hopefully there would be someone that could fix it as good as new, he didn't want Izaya to know he had broken the symbol of their bond because of his carelessness and stupid strength. It wouldn't be long before his lover found out. Slipping the ring back into his pocket, Shizuo walked over to the bathroom door his fingers resting against the handle hearing voices inside. Knowing he was doing just what he had told both Izaya and Emi not to do the blond placed an ear against the door listening in.

"...I drew a picture of you and mama. It's in my bag. Oh no I forgot the letter."

"Letter? Let your mummy know. Are you enjoying school?" Shizuo sighed getting a bad feeling.

"Yeah. I have a lot of friends. I don't think my teacher likes me though. She says bad things. I think that's why mama's eyes don't smile." Crap. Shizuo felt a small stabbing pain in his chest.

"Hm? What do you mean? What bad things?" Knocking loudly on the door the blond opened the door seeing his daughter in the bath playing with her rubber duck, Izaya on his knees resting against the bath.

"I've got Emi's clothes." For a second he thought he could see suspicion in his lover's eyes. "Don't stay in there too long sweetie, you don't want to catch a cold." Emi smiled splashing the duck down water spraying over the bath.

"I won't mama." Placing the small bundle away from the bath Shizuo smiled turning to walk away. "Mama. I forgot my teacher gave me a letter. It's in my bag."

"Okay. Did you forget your homework too?" Emi lowered her head not looking at him. "Make sure you do it today or you'll have to do it with nana tomorrow." He warned light heartedly.

"You have homework?" Izaya gasped rolling his sleeves up to flick water. "We'll do it together, won't we? The quicker it gets done the more playtime you'll have. Did you make sure your room is tidy?" Shizuo knew the answer to that one. Tidy in his daughter's eyes was shoving everything under the bed.

"Yeah." Walking back to the bath Shizuo ruffled long wet hair with a chuckle. Today he would let her off. It wouldn't take long to tidy up properly besides it gave him something to do.

"Shizu-chan, where's your ring?" Izaya caught his hand smoothing his wet fingers over where his ring should be.

"I take it off when I bake. The last thing I want is to dig it out of cookie mixture." That should be believable or was his body giving him away like usual? The raven knew when he was lying.

"Ah right."

"Mama is clumsy." Emi giggled. "Mama broke the whisk and egg."

"Come on sweetie, time to get out of there. Look your fingers are all wrinkly." With Izaya's attention back on their daughter, Shizuo quietly left the room picking the red backpack up from the coat hook. Flipping back the flap Shizuo took out the pieces of paper.

The first was the drawing Emi had been so proud of. In the background was a big house in grey and brown. Then there were two big stick figures, one with black hair and red dots for eyes. Shizuo smiled seeing that Emi had even tried to add in the fur trimmed coat. The other stick figure had bright yellow hair and what was supposed to be his grey bartender uniform. In the centre was a little stick figure with brown scribble hair and red dots for eyes. Across the top it was written mama, dada and me.

Grabbing some scissors Shizuo carefully trimmed the drawing slotting it carefully into one of the empty photo frames. The rest were filled with Emi's baby photos or family photos of the three of them. Hanging the frame back onto the wall, Shizuo stepped back admiring his daughter's work.

Going back to the backpack he took out the other two bits of paper. "Make a picture diary of what you did at the weekend." Shizuo read what Emi's homework assignment was. It was simple enough. The next bit of paper was the letter. Shizuo felt his heart drop to his stomach. Parents evening. It was the last thing he needed. Emi's appointment was ten past six meaning Izaya wouldn't be at work. "Shit." Folding the letter up he shoved it in his pocket putting it out of his mind for now.

x-x-x

"You aren't going to sleep yet are you?" Shizuo asked his still awake daughter. In response Emi shook her head. "Why not? You've had dinner, supper and playtime."

"You haven't read me a story." Shizuo glanced at the time knowing that he still had to get ready for work. "We didn't finish little red riding hood." Emi reached under the pillow pulling out the tabbed book handing it over.

Taking a seat Shizuo opened the book on the correct page and began to read. "Little red riding hood skipped from the village heading towards the forest swinging the basket in her hands."

"Mama..." Shizuo put the book down.

"Yes?" He asked knowing there was a slim chance that they would finish the story tonight.

"Isn't the Forest big and scary?"

"Yes it is. Can I continue?" Emi smiled and nodded. "Little red riding hood made her way through the forest towards her grandmother's cottage, making sure to keep on the path. A patch of brightly coloured flowers drew her attention and disobeying her mother's warning not to stray, little red riding hood went over to the flowers. She was happily picking flowers when suddenly a wolf appeared. What are you doing out here little girl? The wolf asked in a friendly voice."

"Mama." His daughter interrupted again. "Wolves can't talk. Wouldn't he be growling instead?" Shaking his head he heard soft clapping behind him. Turning around he glared at the raven standing at the door.

"This is your fault, flea." Shizuo accused.

"Oh? How do you figure that?" Izaya grinned stalking forward. "It's good she's not fooled by stories."

"She's a child. She's supposed to believe in fairy tales and magic." Shizuo said softly. "Don't make her grow up too quickly." Still at least he knew his little girl still believed in Santa and the tooth fairy.

"Okay okay. Emi sweetie don't ask your mummy questions he can't answer. Now where were you?" Izaya grinned standing beside him to read over his shoulder. "Here we go. What are you doing out here, little girl? The wolf asked in a friendly voice." Shizuo shuddered at Izaya's deceptively sweet voice. "Your turn Shizu-chan."

"I'm on my way to see my grandma who lives through the forest. Little red riding hood replied." Shizuo muttered. "Realising how late she was, little red riding hood quickly ran towards her grandmother's house."

"The wolf in the meantime took a short cut reaching the old woman's house long before the girl." Izaya grinned. "When the door opened... The wolf gobbled the granny up." Izaya leaned forward quickly making Emi laugh. "Finding a night gown, the wolf placed a sleeping cap over his ears trying to hide his pointed ears. Next he slipped into the bed waiting for little red riding hood."

"Dada. Why is the wolf dressing up? Won't his claws rip the clothes?" Shizuo sat back more than happy enough for his lover to answer.

Izaya's hand rested on his shoulder. "Because mr wolf didn't want little red riding hood to know who he was and he was good at hiding his claws."

"Why not?" Emi asked more awake now than she was when he started.

"Because mr wolf wants to play a game with his food. Any other questions?"

"Not right now." Emi replied sweetly.

Shizuo covered a smile knowing that soon not even the god complexed flea would be able to handle their daughter. "Little red riding hood knocked on the door."

"Who is it? The wolf called in a croaky voice." Izaya grinned.

"It's me little red riding hood. The girl called through the door." Shizuo read refusing to sound like a girl. There had been more than enough of that in his life.

"Come in dear. The wolf croaked." Shizuo rolled his eyes at the croaky voice Izaya was putting on. "Shizu-chan, your turn." His lover whispered.

"When little red riding hood entered the cottage she could barely recognise her grandmother. Grandma your voice sounds strange."

"I just have a cold dear. The wolf squeaked forcing a cough."

"But grandmother! What big ears you have. Little red riding hood exclaimed." Shizuo glanced to the side.

"The better to hear you with my dear." Covering a laugh he read his own line.

"But grandmother what big eyes you have."

"The better to see you with. The wolf replied." Emi was sitting on the edge of the bed clapping her hands.

"But grandmother! What big teeth you have. Little red riding hood said scared." Shizuo jumped when the raven pounced on him.

"All the better to eat you with." Izaya's fingers dug into his ribs as the raven tickled him.

"I-Izaya. Stop." The blond jolted trying to push his lover away. "Haha st-stop."the chair rocked as he nearly fell off it. "Emi, time to settle down. Flea, finish the story."

"It is finished. The wolf eats little red riding hood. The end."

"That's not how it ends." Shizuo held the book up showing there were more pages.

"Fine fine. Let little red riding hood have a boring happy ending." With that Izaya took the book. "Little red riding hood called for help. A nearby woodsman chopping logs heard her cry. The woodsman grabbed the wolf and made him spit out the grandmother. Little red riding hood clung to the old woman sobbing how scared she was. The woodsman knocked out the wolf and dragged him into the forest where no one would be hurt again. The end." The raven closed he book.

"Dada. Didn't the grandmother get chewed to pieces?"

"Well maybe the wolf didn't have a ga-" Shizuo slammed a hand over his mouth.

"Because it's a story for children."

"The woodsman killed the wolf didn't he? The wolf wouldn't have left anyone alone." Shizuo took a seat on the edge of the bed tucking Emi back in.

"If that's the way you want to interpret it. Come on time for sleep."

"Shizu-chan, I can make sure she sleeps. Don't you need to get ready? Izaya remarked taking his space.

"Thanks." Kissing Emi on the forehead and Izaya on the lips, Shizuo hurried from the room and down the stairs concerned about Mika's well being, whilst dreading having to explain to Shiki what had happened last night. It wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation.

Next:- New uniform


	4. New uniform

**New uniform**

Shizuo shivered stepping under the spray in the shower. Over the years he had come to first accept his body and then grow to like it. Of course he would never like his own body as much as the flea did. Reaching for the body wash, the blond soaped up the dark blue scrunchie lathering the foam over his torso and down his arms. Izaya loved every inch of his body and practically worshipped it every time they made love.

He was happy with just the three of them together. Sure Celty and the rest of his friends made him happy but not as happy as when he was alone with both his husband and daughter. They were his life. Izaya loved him and he loved Izaya. Those were the only feelings that were necessary in his heart. Proud, god complexed, damn sexy Izaya who could wrap him around his finger in a matter of seconds.

Lathering up his thighs, Shizuo tilted his head back letting the not too cold not too hot spray rinse the frothy bubbles from his skin. His lover hadn't asked about the letter, though no doubt he had seen their daughter's drawing that he had framed. It wasn't a long time away either. Monday evening felt like barely a day away but he knew if he worried about it, Izaya would pick up on it and pester him until he spilled.

x-x-x

With a resigned sigh Shizuo stepped from the shower, pulling a fluffy towel from the rack. Wrapping it around his waist the blond left the bathroom. "Shizu-chan! You're dripping water everywhere." His lover complained from where he was laying in the bed.

"Ah yeah, forgot my clothes." Before he could go back to the bathroom, Izaya was off of the bed and in his personal space. Shizuo blinked another towel thrown over his wet hair. "...thanks."

"Now who's the child?" Izaya teased. "Emi finally settled down." Shizuo lowered his head allowing the raven to dry his hair. "You framed her drawing." His lover said softly. "What was the letter about? She's not having problems at school is she?"

"No not that I know of. It's parents evening on Monday. My appointment is after six." Izaya's hands stopped moving.

"Monday? I think I have a meeting until seven." Shizuo tried not to breathe a sigh of relief. "I can always rearrange it. I finally get to meet our little girl's teacher. Something wrong, Shizu-chan?"

"You shouldn't cancel important meetings. You haven't changed at all." Shaking his head Shizuo took the towel from his head. If this continued he would end up late, giving Shiki another reason to have a go at him.

"You and Emi are my priority. It's not really an important meeting, just a catchup." His lover was determined to come. Shrugging in response Shizuo pulled out his clothes, towelling the rest of his body dry. Slipping on his boxers and his pants, the blond checked he had slipped the broken ring in the right pair. His fingers brushed against the taped ring.

Izaya tossed him his shirt and bow tie which he quickly put on checking his phone for the time. "I can drive you if you want?" Shaking his head he put on his grey waistcoat.

"No, it's fine. See you in the morning." Hopping on one leg he pulled his socks on pecking his lover on the lips before rushing from the room. His hair was a birds nest but he could quickly fix that before Shiki saw him.

"Shizu-chan, you forgot these." Looking up from where he was slipping on his shoes, Shizuo took the tinted glasses his lover held out. "You forgot to put your ring back on."

"Thanks. My ring is in my pocket." With that he was out of the door hurrying down the path, breaking into a run in the direction of Artic.

x-x-x

"S-sorry I'm late!" Shizuo panted out of breath throwing open the door, running a hand sheepishly through his hair. The bar hadn't opened yet Shiki, Akabayashi and Anri turned to stare at him.

"My office." Shiki simply said. Shizuo shivered feeling a chill in the air. His boss stood holding the door open. Swallowing a lump in his throat he stepped over the threshold taking a seat on one of the blood red sofas. The door closed increasing his nervousness.

Like Izaya the man was shorter and slimmer than him yet that didn't seem to matter. Shiki was the authority in Artic, walking around with a chill akin to the bar's name. No one questioned or disobeyed. If Shiki told you to do something you did it. The last time he had faced the man's iciness was when he and his alter ego came crumbling down.

Shiki felt like the giant in the room and he a small child waiting to be scolded. Besides that there was the whole his boss might be yakuza thing. The only time he had seen the intimidating man thaw was holding Emi as a child and every time he saw her after that.

"Orihara-san, I wanted to speak to you about your actions last night." Shizuo bowed his head preparing himself to be scolded. "I do not mind you making friends with the regulars but getting yourself involved in their problems is something I am against. I say this for your benefit. My priority is the safety of my staff. Which is why I am putting a few new procedures in place."

He wasn't in trouble? "Anything that happens in Artic is my sole responsibility. I have gone through this already with Sonohara-san." Shizuo looked up slowly seeing what looked like a shoe box and a bubble wrapped package on top. "Let me know if these do not fit."

Taking the box Shizuo opened the lid seeing a snug pair of thick boots. The bubble wrap held a thin vest that felt slightly strange and several pairs of thin black leather gloves. "S-Shiki-san, thank you. The gloves would hide that he didn't have his ring on.

"I would rather that you didn't wear any jewellery whilst you work to avoid injury if you get into fights however I understand the importance of wedding rings. I would appreciate it if you wore this over your ring." Shiki explained handing him what looked like a long ring of thin clear rubber. "That's all. Orihara-san please fix your hair before getting behind the bar."

Shiki opened the door letting him out. Clutching his new additions to his uniform, Shizuo headed for the toilets to fix his hair and try on his new boots. Taking his ring from his pocket, Shizuo carefully slipped it back onto his finger, sliding the clear ring protector over the top. It was barely noticeable and kept the ring snug on his finger. Tilting his hand it stayed on, waving his hand around, the same. A little too late his boss had given him the way to stop his wedding ring from getting damaged.

The thin gloves felt like a second skin and he knew it wouldn't take long until they felt like a part of him. Flexing his fingers the new leather crunched getting used to his shape. The boots were snug keeping his feet warm. A little extra protection from the cold since he had forgotten his coat in the rush. No doubt Izaya would bother him relentlessly about it but then again as his lover would say, protozoans don't catch colds.

Putting his shoes in the box, Shizuo left the toilets sliding the box behind the bar. He felt slightly guilty that his actions had been brushed off but grateful to have such an understanding boss. "Saturday night, it's going to get busy." Akabayashi stepped back twirling his cane full circle before planting it on the ground.

The red haired man began to whistle, ruffling Anri's hair as he walked past and made his way joyfully up the stairs. Shizuo counted to three in his head. On three the bar came alive with music. As if that was their cue to start working, Anri grabbed a cloth and began checking the tables and the floors were clean.

Shizuo took a deep breath grabbing a bottle of vodka testing how he had to adjust his grips thanks to the gloves. Twirling the bottle experimentally and catching it with ease, the blond checked everything was as he preferred it nodding to Anri to open the door.

As it was the same every night, business was slow to start since people didn't just queue up waiting for them to open. What he didn't expect was his old work colleague to be the first one in. Kadota looked tired and haggard slumping on one of the stools. "Hey, Shizuo."

"Do you want a drink?" The blond asked sympathetically.

"Something strong. How do you do it?"

"Do what?" But he had a small inkling. His friend had the same look that Izaya did during his pregnancy.

"Raising a child. I love Vorona but she's grumpy, ratty, always complaining and it feels like I can't do anything right." Shizuo listened calmly slowly filling the glass with the strongest whiskey they stocked. Sliding the glass across Kadota downed it straight. "Rai won't sleep either, he's always crying." Kadota ran a hand through his dishevelled hair pushing the empty glass back. "I'm not cut out to be a father." Shizuo sighed drumming his fingertips on the smooth work top.

"Both Shinra and Izaya managed it." He muttered softly. "It's a learning curve, something everyone will go through. Stand by Vorona and everything will be fine." It felt strange giving advice over something he himself had been through. At points he had felt sorry for Izaya.

"Yeah? Looks like I'm a slow learner. Another please." Reluctantly Shizuo poured another double sliding the glass over into Kadota's waiting hand.

"Why don't you get a babysitter and take time out the two of you?"

"Vorona doesn't want to leave him with a stranger. She barely trusts me leaving Rai in the company daycare with Kamichika-san,let alone a stranger." Shizuo clenched his fist watching Kadota drain the glass. Apart from what Izaya and his former workmates told him, he had no idea what happened at TGOI.

"Kamichika-san?" He asked quietly feeling out of the loop. Kadota pushed the glass forward fishing in his pocket for his wallet.

"Rio Kamichika. Izaya's new secretary. She's pretty good at her job, seems to handle Izaya just fine. Karisawa trusts her with Miki." Kadota carried on but Shizuo had stopped listening. Izaya had a new secretary? Since when? Why hadn't his husband told him?

Both of them were snapped from their thoughts a phone ringing. "That will be Vorona demanding where I am. Thanks for listening."

"Any time. You might want to pick up some cakes." Shizuo muttered already smelling the alcohol on his friend. Knowing Vorona she wouldn't be happy if her husband retuned drunk.

"Good call. I'll be going then." Shizuo cursed as he was pulled away by another customer. Kadota was smart enough to know what he should do. It was a little concerning that his friend turned to drink every time he was confused, upset or generally lost.

But that was the part of his job, helping to ease the melancholy or other pain the customers might be feeling. There were four types that came into Artic. The normal after work drink or night out. The lone ones that were dressed to impress and entice someone to take them home or to the nearest hotel. The ones that wanted to dance the night away and the ones that needed help but had no one else to turn to.

x-x-x

An hour later and Shizuo was whizzing behind the bar pulling pint after pint. It looked like it was a usual Saturday night. The music grew louder and he knew Akabayashi had tweaked the sound up again. If the laid back man wasn't careful Shiki would come out of his office. Taking a tray from the pile Shizuo drummed his fingers against the bar grabbing the correct amount of shot glasses. "Surprise mix please." Nodding in response the blond turned coffee orbs scanning what the bar held.

Surprise mix was a current promotional offer that had been running for the Christmas period. The response however was a lot better than expected and the offer had remained throughout January. Five shots for almost half price but the catch was that it was his pick and not the customers.

If he went by his opinion though, it was a little bias since he preferred sweet things. Picking five randomly from the drinks menu, Shizuo grabbed the bottles he needed pouring the required quantities in. Returning each bottle to its proper place, the blond slid the tray across. A smile and the money owed was his reward.

"Shizuo-san, would you like to go on your break?" Anri asked softly meeting his gaze. Whether it was down to Akabayashi's influence or something else, the raven was growing into a beautiful young lady. Although it had taken him a while to remember her name, Shizuo had watched the shy unsure of herself teen blossom into the confident yet still soft spoken woman in front of him.

"No, I'm okay." He would only be sitting outside in the cold for fifteen minutes. His body continued to be nicotine free. It was hardly noticeable now except when he was stressed. Izaya seemed to be able to soothe his temper as much as he could aggravate it and provoke him. Flicking the strawberry candy around his mouth with his tongue Shizuo resumed his duties.

x-x-x

For a few moments he thought he caught sight of Mika but with him being the only one serving and the crowd of customers gathered around the bar it was hard to tell. Usually he could manage just fine but tonight looked to be more hectic than usual. "Situation status requesting back up?" Came a robotic voice from behind him. Shizuo turned in shock seeing Vorona lifting the hatch in her bartender uniform. "Good to see you again, Shizuo-sempai." The young woman had matured since he had last seen her.

Vorona's icy eyes had thawed looking tired. She looked slightly plumper not yet losing the baby weight. Her long blonde locks had been chopped to shoulder length. "Vorona, what are you doing here?" Shizuo asked pouring the next customer's drink.

"Emotional overload to be avoided. Kadota is looking after Rai. Advice was to unload stress here." Vorona informed him hand on her hip. "I require to know if presence is not needed."

"If you feel up to it. I'm not sure why it's so busy tonight." Vorona grinned standing a little way away from him. The crowd split into two, the blonde a huge help. While the two of them plied the customers with alcohol, Anri was dashing from table to table collecting the empty glasses.

"I enquire to know what beverage you want." Shizuo smiled glad that the Russian barmaid was back where she belonged. He didn't know whether to ask her about Kadota or not but by the smile on her face it looked like he didn't need to.

x-x-x

Eleven o'clock hit, Shizuo gently tapping the barmaid on the shoulder. It was last call before the bar would close for the night. Vorona nodded the two of them at last catching a break from serving drinks. The numbers had dwindled down, although Akabayashi still had his hands full controlling upstairs where the music was still in full swing.

"Shizuo-sempai, I wish to inform you of my well being. There is no need for your concern." A light blush dusted Vorona's cheeks. "K-Kadota has adjusted the situation. I believe this is the needed solution. I thank you for advice." So Kadota had gone back home to talk things out.

"It's fine." Fishing a hand in his pocket, the blond pulled out more suckable sweets offering them to Vorona who took one gratefully, leaning against the counter as she unwrapped it. "Looks like Shiki-san wants to see you." Their boss was standing in the door frame of his office. "I can handle things here."

Shizuo watched her go noticing how human she was becoming. A single mention of Kadota's name and the blonde was blushing with the occasional stutter, her usual robotic sounding voice faltering. He could see how much love was changing her like it had him.

x-x-x

At midnight Shizuo was putting away the last pint glass, everything already for when they opened up the next night. Anri had already left hurrying outside where she would have met with Mikado and Kida. Like the raven, the two boys had grown up over the years. The pair still worked for Izaya, still came to collect Anri and occasionally stopped by for a drink.

Silence filled the bar, the music had been turned off, Akabayashi stood on the stairs twirling his cane. Vorona was still in with Shiki most likely talking about her return to work. Shizuo took one last look over his work station before picking up the shoebox. "Hanejima-no neechan. Wait for Shiki no danna." As usual Akabayashi still referred to him with the same name as well as treating him like a woman.

As if on cue the door opened, a happy looking Vorona stepping out. "Miss beautiful it's good to see you again." Shiki followed moments later.

"Orihara-san, we'll give you a lift home."

"Shiki-san, I-"

"Take it as my present to you. There is no need for you to come in tomorrow." Shiki finished giving him no chance to object. He knew it was more for Vorona's sake than his own. Nevertheless he was grateful leaving Artic with his co-workers whilst Shiki locked up.

Really he couldn't ask for a better boss...not that he would say that to Izaya. Thinking of Izaya reminded him that his lover had finally given up on getting him to come back to TGOI. Why else would the raven finally hire a secretary? He had already forgotten her name, his bad habit had struck again.

x-x-x

Shizuo crunched the candy between his teeth gaping at the inside of the limo as he slid in close to the door. Vorona sat next to him looking slightly bored, whilst Akabayashi and his employer sat opposite them. He tried not to shudder at the strangeness of the situation. Sure it was cold outside but inside the warm interior of the expensive vehicle, it felt like an icebox with Shiki's presence. It was as if no could speak not wanting to break the silence.

Relief flooded him as the limo pulled away and began to the journey to his house since it was closer. The sudden protection element included in his job made him a little worried. Clearing his throat he tried not to flush as all three of them looked at him. The small amount of courage he had drained away.

"I enquire to know the reason for the additions to our work attire." Vorona simply said unfazed by the cold aura their boss gave off. She too had a shoebox and package on her lap. "Added protection is unnecessary."

"As I have explained, I wish to ensure my staff are kept safe and happy." Shizuo found himself looking to Akabayashi who was relaxing back against the seat eyes closed. If he didn't know better he would say the man was already asleep.

"Again, I would like to inform you, protection is unnecessary. Shizuo-sempai and I can handle ourselves in violent combat." The blonde tapped her foot adamant that they didn't need protecting.

"Be that as it may, the new additions are compulsory for the two of you to wear. I hope that you don't find out that hard way. The more you gain the more you have to lose. The two of you would do well to remember that. It is my hope that neither of you learn that lesson the hard way. Goodnight, Orihara-san." Shizuo blinked seeing that the limo had reached his house.

"Goodnight, Shiki-san. Akabayashi-san, Vorona." Undoing his seatbelt Shizuo opened the car door making sure to mind his head as he climbed out.

"Goodnight, Shizuo-sempai." It looked like Vorona was going to insist that she didn't need to be protected.

"Goodnight, Hanejjma no neechan." Closing the door, the blond stepped back walking around the back of the limo as it pulled away. A cold chill settled against his skin making him wish he hadn't forgotten his coat. Hugging the box to his chest, Shizuo hurried up the path getting his key out.

Closing the door with a soft click, Shizuo placed his keys in the bowl leaving the shoebox on the sofa. Another long night over. Running a hand through his hair, the blond walked quietly into the bedroom trying not to to disturb his lover.

Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, Shizuo crooked his fingers tugging the bow tie off. Slipping off his waistcoat, the blond worked on the buttons. "Shizu-chan?" A voice whispered in the darkness.

"Did I wake you?" He whispered back shrugging the shirt from his sore shoulders. The bed covers rustled, slim arms wrapping around his waist.

"No. You know how much of a light sleeper I am. You're freezing. Did you forget your coat again?" The blond didn't reply. "You did didn't you? Protozoan."

"Shiki-san gave us a lift." Shizuo covered a yawn flicking the button on his pants undone. Stripping down to his boxers, Shizuo shivered huddling underneath the covers. "You seem better."

Izaya shuffled closer to him. "I'm all better, Shizu-chan. Nothing can keep me down." Tugging off his gloves Shizuo added them to the bundle. "Anything else happen?" Covering another yawn his head rested against the soft pillow.

"Mm. Vorona came back." His eyelids slid shut, gently fingers playing with his hair. "Shiki-san said I didn't have to come in. Said it was his..." Another yawn stole his words. "Sorry, I'm tired."

"No problem. You've worked hard. Get some sleep, Shizu-chan." Nodding his head he thought he heard his lover say something else but it was lost on him, much needed sleep already settling in.

**Next:- forgotten time**


	5. Forgotten time

**Forgotten time**

_A/N:- Bam another chapter. This one I wanted to post as close to the lovable blond's birthday. So here we go. Don't forget to review. Enjoy._

Shizuo dozed lightly pulling the covers higher over him. There was no argument from his lover making him force his eyes open to see the other side of bed was empty. Daylight filtered through the window signalling that it was already morning. With a disgruntled sigh the blond ducked back under the covers pretending he hadn't seen anything. Whether he had overworked himself or had a strange dream he didn't know but it felt like he hadn't had any sleep at all.

Shizuo yawned closing his eyes finding it more than easy enough to fall back to sleep. His fingers reached up clutching the pillow. "Shizu-chan, are you awake?" With a groan the blond poked his head out from underneath the covers.

"Mm. I'm awake." Shizuo grumbled. Izaya was back to his usual healthy self bouncing into the room.

"Did you catch my cold?" His lover asked climbing back onto the bed. Shizuo shook his head.

"Just tired." The blond yawned again pushing himself up. "Feel like I haven't slept."

"That's not good. I'm going to drop Emi off to my mothers'. Why don't you get some more sleep?" Izaya soothed placing a kiss against his temple. Shizuo was already half asleep again.

x-x-x

The next time he opened his eyes Shizuo found his head in Izaya's lap, the raven stroking his hair. How hadn't he woken up through that? "What are you doing?" He asked lifting his head. "What time is it?"

"I was playing with your hair." His lover confessed.

"Is that a dig that I need to cut it?" Shizuo muttered feeling rested.

"No, I just meant its nice and soft. But your roots are starting to come through again." Shizuo relaxed resting back on the pillow.

"What time is it?" He asked again.

"A little after nine." Izaya told him continuing to play with his hair.

"Ah. Emi?"

"I took her to my mothers'. Do you feel rested now?" Nodding his head, Izaya's hand left him. "Good. Stay here I made breakfast." Shizuo blinked rubbing a hand over his face. Someone was happy this morning.

Throwing back the covers the blond went to get out of bed. "Iz-"

"Shizu-chan, I said stay in bed." His lover whined holding out a tray. Curious about what Izaya was up to Shizuo slid back under the warmth of the covers. "Careful now." Coffee orbs widened seeing the arrangement on the tray. Pancakes, hot cakes, a small slice of strawberry cheesecake, honey rice porridge and a tall glass of hot chocolate.

"I-Izaya." Shizuo breathed. Words couldn't describe how he felt. "This is..."

"Your breakfast. Hurry up and eat. There's enough sweet stuff on that tray to cause diabetes." Izaya grimaced sitting on the bed.

"Tch. You always know how to pick out the bad points in things. I already gave up smoking."

"Yeah, I know. I'm not asking you to give up sweets." Shizuo nodded swallowing a mouthful of the sweet porridge.

"Good. Because I won't." What did concern him though was why Izaya was being so nice. That usually meant something was happening. The last time his lover had been so accommodating was when he was pregnant and since he knew that was impossible, the raven's actions had him worried.

Was he trying to butter him up to get him to spill his problems? Something bad Izaya had done? Shiki had been slightly odd as well... Shizuo sighed a bitter taste in his mouth even as he shovelled in the rest of the overly sweet porridge. "Shizu-chan, what do you want to do today?"

Placing the empty dish to the side he moved onto the hot cakes covered in chocolate. "Don't mind." Shizuo muttered between mouthfuls. "Don't we usually just spend the day having sex?" What was so different about today? "Or are you still recovering from your cold?"

Izaya sighed shaking his head. "This year too hm? My cold is gone, Shizu-chan. Why don't we go out?"

"Out where? It's cold and I don't have work today." Besides that he didn't want to put up with all the looks and whispers. Maybe he was being paranoid, it wasn't like he had any problems at Artic but then again he was safely behind the bar where no one could get to him.

"I thought maybe a restaurant or a hotel?" Shizuo swallowed the last of his hot cakes. A restaurant meant ridiculously small portions of food he didn't even like for a stupid amount which the flea would insist on paying for. To top it off it would be two men sitting opposite each other at a small table with a romantic setting. The very thought made him shudder.

"Why don't we just stay here?" Shizuo asked quietly trying to hide the slight tremble in his fingers. To keep himself busy he devoured the slice of cheesecake in two large bites.

"Because today is special and I wanted to celebrate it." Special? What was so special about a Sunday? Christmas had already passed and their anniversary wasn't until a few weeks. Slowly he chewed the soft cookie base trying to think of what he had forgotten.

"Celebrate what?" The blond finally gave in coming up with a blank. Licking the whipped cream from his hot chocolate he caught Izaya's saddened gaze. The same look that was always like a dagger to his heart.

"...Your birthday. Happy birthday, Shizu-chan." Shizuo blinked looking down at the tray in his lap. His stomach dropped appetite gone.

"Oh. There's nothing to celebrate." Draining the glass, Shizuo slipped from the bed carrying the tray out into the kitchen. His birthday? Another year older. The one time of the year that he had hated and as he had grown older forgotten completely.

Kasuka knew how he had felt so treated his birthday like any other normal day. His parents had really given a damn back then and he hadn't told any of his friends. The only time he acknowledged his birthday was when he had put it down on his employment forms for both Izaya and Shiki.

To him it was just January 28th, a normal day. Why should anyone stop for him? The only one he had willingly mentioned his birthday to was Celty and she knew that he didn't like celebrating it. So why now? He and Izaya had originally gotten together in January so it was too soon for Izaya to open that wound.

After that he had been pregnant with Emi and every year after that he had gone along with life normally. Every year he celebrated valentines day without a choice, Izaya's birthday, his friends' birthdays, Christmas and every other event. It looked like this year he wouldn't be allowed to skip his birthday.

"Shizu-chan, are you okay?" Shizuo placed the tray on the side the plastic snapping from the sides as he clenched his hand.

"I don't want to celebrate my birthday. Why the hell did you even bring it up?" The blond growled irritably.

"Because you never do. Your relationship with your parents is better now, don't you think it's time to start celebrating the day you were born?" Izaya stepped forward placing a hand on his arm.

"Hypocrite."

"What?" His lover stepped back. Shizuo glared at him.

"I said you're a hypocrite. Birthdays are supposed to be celebrated? Who was it that was crying in their office last year because they were a year older?"

"That was-"

"Because you are afraid of death and don't want to admit you're one year closer to the inevitable. You've said. I got that when you kept saying you were forever twenty one. You don't like celebrating your birthday any more than I do mine." Shizuo ground his teeth together wishing that he hadn't woken up this morning and Shiki hadn't given him the day off.

"Okay, I get it. I'm a coward and a hypocrite. If you don't want to celebrate your birthday then I won't force you to. I understand that you still have your scars and maybe I can't heal them all. I thought this year you would be ready." Izaya stepped forward resting his fingers on his cheek. "Just let me say this. Shizu-chan, thank you for being born, thank you for being who you are."

Shizuo felt his limbs lock rendering him unable to move as Izaya hugged him. Slowly his arms raised hugging the raven back. "I hate it when we argue." The blond muttered. "My poor uniforms are always the ones to suffer." Izaya pouted slapping his arm.

"And here I thought you would say something worthwhile, protozoan. Anyway you're in your boxers not your uniform." Shizuo shrugged releasing his hold on Izaya. Walking past his lover back into the bedroom, Shizuo lay down on the bed. "Mm That is one heck of an invitation, Shizu-chan."

"Shut up. I'm going back to sleep. Even at this age you still think of sex. Get your mind out of the gutter. Besides it's freezing. At least turn the heating on."

"I have another way to warm you up." Izaya purred one knee on the bed.

"I bet you do." Shizuo dead panned. At least the idea to celebrate his birthday was gone. The awkwardness had dissolved yet again into half hearted teasing.

"Tut tut tut." His lover slowly shook his head prowling slowly across the bed, crimson orbs looking hungry. "When will you stop denying yourself? You want this as much as I do."

"You mean do I want to wake up tomorrow with a sore ass? Not really."

"You wound me, Shizu-chan." Shizuo stared up as his lover pinned him down.

"Somehow I doubt that. You have thick skin flea, nothing bothers you." It was the part of Izaya that he envied. His lover could brush everything off without batting an eyelid. That egotistical confidence was what he hated and what he wished he had.

"Not quite. It hurts when you push me away. When you ridicule yourself. I can't brush those off so easily." Shit. Shizuo sighed closing his eyes.

"I can't change who I am Izaya. God knows I've tried."

"God doesn't exist." The raven commented the same as he did every-time he said it. "However if you were referring to me..." There he went again with his god complex. "...I know how hard you try. Every year you improve. One day you'll love yourself Shizu-chan, every single little part of you." Izaya tapped his nose lightly with a finger.

"If I loved myself as much as you wanted me to, wouldn't I be a narcissist?" Izaya's grin slipped.

"Big word, protozoan. I'm surprised you know what it means." Shizuo smirked pulling his leg slowly towards him, his knee rising between Izaya's legs.

"Well you'd know, you brought me a damn dictionary."

"Thesaurus too." Izaya reminded him. Those heated eyes hadn't left his once. "Yet I still can't get you to stop using that horrific language." Shizuo groaned inches away from his lover's soft lips.

"Half of that language I got from you annoying me."

"Well if it's because of me, there's nothing we can do about it." Izaya closed the small space between them pressing their lips lightly together. A finger slipped under his chin gently moving his head. Shizuo let his eyes close trusting Izaya completely. "Shizu-chan."

The raven kissed him again this time a little longer. Tilting his head the blond reciprocated flicking his tongue out and slipping between Izaya's lips. He could hear a small gasp of shock before they were lost in each other their fingers entwined as their tongues danced with one another. Cracking one eye open he found himself staring into crimson.

"What the fuck?" He gasped breaking the kiss. "Don't stare at me like that." His heartbeat pounded noisily. His lover only smiled lifting one hand to his lips. Shizuo wouldn't have minded if it hadn't been the hand with the ring protector on.

"What's this?" Of course it wouldn't go unnoticed. "I noticed the gloves and boots when I woke up." Tugging his hand back Shizuo ran a hand through his hair.

"Shiki said they were additions to our uniforms. Something about being better protected and looking after his staff."

"Mm." Izaya kissed him again. "Is that so? Good to know he's keeping you safe."

"Yeah. Vorona wasn't too happy about it."

"Protozoans alike. If Shiki-san is worried about something then it's better to go along with it. You have no idea of what he does when he's not running Artic." Izaya's brow furrowed and Shizuo knew what that meant.

"There's no need for you to get involved, flea." He said sternly knowing that if left alone his lover would either confront Shiki or look into it himself. "Artic has nothing to do with you. The same as TGOI has nothing to do with me." He had made up his mind. So what if Izaya had a new secretary, it wasn't like anything would happen. It was stupid doubting his lover.

"Are we really talking about work on your b- day off?" Izaya continued to hover over him placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"You started it." Shizuo shot back. Tilting his head he could feel the softness of his lover's lips against his skin. His mouth, his chin, along the column of his throat down to the nape of his neck. Nipping, sucking and leaving inappropriate marks that wouldn't disappear for a while. "Damn it, don't make me look like I have some sort of disease again."

"Shh. Let me do what I do best?" Izaya soothed kissing his collar bone.

"Interfering? Being a flea or your god complexed attitude?" Shizuo muttered half jokingly.

"Everything I do is the best. You forgot to include making you writhe beneath me like a frolicking puppy." Izaya smirked kissing down the centre of his chest. The blond bristled.

"I do not writhe. Ah!" A small moan escaped his lips, Izaya teasing his nipple with his damn finger.

"Are you sure about that? You like it when I play with these." Shizuo flushed as the small nubs hardened under the raven's touch. "Look how perky they are."

"Tch. What do you expect? It's cold. L-leave them alone."

"Looks like you get more stubborn with age." Shizuo groaned as his lover ground against his knee already pitching a tent.

"And you get more ah annoying. Possessive too." Fuck, now he was aroused.

"Of course. Dangerous, sexy, fragile and mine." Izaya dropped on top of him stealing his lips. "All mine, Shizu-chan." Shizuo sighed glossing over the flea calling him fragile. The last thing he needed was a heart to heart. As it was he was already reeling from Izaya's attempt to celebrate his birthday.

"Oi, flea. Stop talking." With that Shizuo kissed him back flipping them over so Izaya was at his mercy. Tearing the plain black v neck away and dropping the scraps of material to the floor, Shizuo worked on his lover's charcoal jeans inching them off slim legs. They too joined the ruined top.

"Mm, you look so hot when you take control." Izaya purred pulling his head down. "But control is my forte, Shizu-chan. You know that." Shizuo could feel his face heat up seeing what position he had gotten himself into. The raven's clothed arousal pushed against his ass.

"Shut up. Preferred it when you were sick." The blond growled lowly slipping a hand into his own boxers, well aware of those sharp eyes that didn't miss anything were watching.

"Hm? Let's say if I was still sick, what would you do then? Would you do everything for me?" At that Izaya coughed covering his mouth.

"Y-you're still sick? Damn it, flea." Shizuo pushed himself up to get off the bed. A hand clamped around his wrist.

"I said if, protozoan. It was theoretical." Coffee orbs narrowed trying to tell if his crafty lover was lying or not.

"If you were still sick, we wouldn't be doing this. I'd have to nurse you back to health and repay the favour you've done for me so many times." Shizuo went back to straddling his lover, a smirk on his lips and mirth in his gaze.

"...thought as much." Izaya muttered. "You still hold a grudge for the suppositories."

"No I don't. Just the way you put them in." Shizuo sighed. "So you really aren't still ill?" Izaya's hand reached up touching his cheek.

"No. I'm all better. You have nothing to worry about." Shizuo nodded in relief. "Now then where were we?"

"You were trying to establish your control." He muttered.

"Such a sharp tongue." Izaya commented raising a brow.

"Not as sharp as yours." Shizuo let himself be pushed back his head at the end of the bed.

"True. Maybe I should put it to good use?" Shizuo blinked finding himself without his boxers, Izaya's tongue swiping across the tip of his arousal. Damn it felt good.

"Nn." The blond groaned arm above his head holding onto the thick wood to stop himself going over the edge of the bed. The heated furnace was doing a damn good job, a coil forming in his belly as Izaya pleasured him.

Shizuo found himself helpless unable to do anything but buck his hips wanting more of the raven's expert skills. That was exactly what he got. Izaya teasing the tip digging his tongue into his urethra. "Izaya!" His lover chuckled vibrations travelling through the vacuum space. That sinful organ swiped up and down, to the sides and around from base to tip. "Nn."

His lover slowly released him cheeks hollowing and Shizuo almost came right there the head of his shaft tickling the back of Izaya's throat, all the while those blood red orbs gleamed well aware of what his actions were doing to him. "I-Izaya!" He managed to straggle out too close to the edge.

"Nn...ah!" His lover swallowed and Shizuo's orgasm hit him hard releasing into Izaya's ready mouth. Like always he was left boneless and flaccid, putty in the flea's hands. "Damn." It didn't faze Izaya in the least who was licking his lips. Then again his lover did prefer bitter stuff. "Told you before-"

"Not to swallow? I don't mind it. Strange though how your seed tastes so bitter when all you do is eat sweets." Shizuo grimaced staring up at the ceiling as he panted. Izaya though hadn't finished not by a long shot, gentle hands rested on his thighs spreading them apart.

Shizuo watched as the whistling raven backed away to the top of the bed, pulling open the drawer where they kept their necessary stuff for when they made love. Izaya was already flipping the cap open squirting the strawberry scented lubricant onto his fingers.

Sex with the flea no longer bothered him. Shizuo's eyes widened feeling Izaya's lube coated fingers brush against his reproductive hole as they called it. "Izaya!"

"Ne, Shizu-chan. What if I said..." His lover stared at him trailing off. "Never mind." Shizuo blinked seeing his lover look unsure or was it worried? Whatever it was vanished the moment he felt Izaya touch his back entrance. His spent length jumped filling with blood. The blond groaned not sure if he should be happy or not that he got aroused from Izaya just touching his backside.

The first slipped in with ease, as did the second and third finger even though it had been a while. Most likely it was because he was relaxed. Strange that the sight of the flea between his legs relaxed him but yeah, that's how it was. Izaya pumped him and he moaned like a whore but that was okay, his lover wasn't much better looking at him like he was a tasty morsel ready to be devoured.

Shizuo gave as good as he got his hand slipping down the front of the raven's boxers to feel the engorged organ. Izaya was hot in his hand increasing his own temperature. "Ah!"

Izaya knew every inch of his body finger tips teasing dabbing at his prostate. "Here?" His lover asked sweetly.

"You bloody know well it is. Stop teasing." Shizuo grumbled fisting the length in his hand. Keeping his strength at bay, the blond moved his hand stroking from base to tip pushed into the same rhythm of his prostate getting brushed.

"Fine fine." Izaya sighed pulling his dripping fingers from his stretched hole. Shizuo let go clutching his hand in the covers. A small gasp left him as his body inched closer to the edge of the bed, the raven slowly pushing into him.

"Ah!" His stretched ring let Izaya push into his body without any problems. Shizuo grabbed on hard to the wood loosening his grip as he heard a crunch.

"Does it hurt?" Izaya asked looking slightly concerned.

"No, feels a little weird."

"It had been a while." His lover sighed placing a kiss against his temple. Slowly Izaya retreated his inner walls clenching tight as he was filled again, the head slamming into his sweet spot. "Mm Shizu-chan."

"Nn." The blond moaned letting himself sink into the pleasurable feeling, his lover thrusting balls deep into his ass. "More." Izaya obliged giving him what he needed. All it took was a single word...apart from stop. Shizuo had a feeling the raven would never obey that one.

With no one in the house except for the two of them they could be as vocal as they wanted to be. Shizuo gasped spreading his legs wider letting the raven sink into him, hands on his thighs. "Fuck. Izaya."

One hand wrapped around his straining erection stroking him in time with the thrusts, Izaya scraping along his inner channel over and over. The other hand rested on his thigh to stop the flea from falling on top of him and sending them both of the edge of the bed. "Shizu-chan."

He was getting closer and closer, so was Izaya pounding into him. His lover gave everything and he took it all. The coil in his belly sprung loose. "Ah! Izaya!" Completely spent Shizuo lay back waiting for Izaya to finish up. The impatient raven shot everything inside him with a cry of his name.

Both of them lay still on the bed, Izaya with his head on his chest still inside him. Slowly releasing his grip on the thick wood, the blond groaned as a small chunk came away in his hand. Slowly his lover pulled out leaving him feeling sticky, empty and sore. "You came inside me again." Holding out his hand Izaya pulled some tissues from the drawer handing them over.

Shizuo took them rolling onto his side to stop everything coming out. His face flushed as he wiped himself clean. "I'll go run you a nice bath." Izaya was already heading for the bathroom. Shizuo reached out catching his lover's wrist.

"...Izaya. Next year. I'll try and celebrate my birthday next year." Staring at the floor he could see his lover's feet. Then Izaya was right in front of him, arms draped around his neck.

"I'll keep you to that, Shizu-chan."

**Next:- Silent S.O.S**


	6. Silent SOS

**Silent SOS **

"Shizu-chan! Why are you wasting time on that?" Izaya complained dropping next to him on the sofa. Shizuo continued reading his drivers theory book trying to absorb the information. As usual his progress was horrible.

"Shh. I'm trying to concentrate." The blond groaned as the book was taken from his grasp. "Give that back."

"We have the rest of the day to kill and you choose to study for this? It's pointless. The only time you'll be dealing with signposts is if you tear them from the ground to throw." Shizuo sighed snatching the book back. Knowing he wasn't going to be allowed to at least try, the blond closed the book. "Finally. What should we do now? Another round?"

"Let's go and get Emi. Hopefully Celty is feeling better." Izaya paused placing a finger on his lips in thought. "Or is that a waste of time to you?" Shizuo was already getting up.

"Hm, I suppose we could go and bother them. Don't forget your coat this time, protozoan." Shooting a glare at Izaya, the blond made a point of going over to get his coat. Since it was still daytime and there had been a chance of going out, Shizuo had dressed in one of his long sleeve shirts and dark jeans. Izaya was pretty much the same apart from the same basic v-neck that he loved so much.

Deciding on his new sturdier boots from Shiki, the blond pulled them on looking up to see Izaya already waiting for him. "Ready?" Holding his hand out he let the flea pull him up. "I should warn you my parents are a bit tense at the moment."

"Something you've done?" Shizuo asked snatching the keys out of the bowl.

"Why do you assume everything is my fault? Izaya pouted opening the door.

"Because 99% of the time it is." The blond grinned pulling up the hood on his coat. It was another cold day.

"Not always." His lover smiled. "There's still that 1%." Shizuo shook his head. "This time it's Mairu and Kururi. They want to move out after Mairu finishes university."

"Oh. Aren't they old enough to decide that on their own?" Mind you Shizuo couldn't even dream of the day his daughter would be all grown up. The two of them left their home, the blond climbing into the passengers seat of the car as the door unlocked.

"They should be but my mother is worried about Kururi. She still doesn't talk much and with Mairu's over the top attitude, she's worried Kururi will be trapped in her shadow." Shizuo nodded remembering the last conversation he had with the growing girl. As usual it had been via text messages.

Mairu was currently in university studying to become a gym teacher. Kururi stayed at home in her bedroom. Kyouko had said it was okay for the time being. "It was your idea for them to move out?" Izaya turned the key in the ignition.

"I might have suggested it." Shizuo groaned pulling his seatbelt across as the car reversed.

"Kyouko is going to kill you when she finds out. If you're worried about Kururi why don't you let her work for you? My desk is still free, isn't it?" He didn't bother mentioning the secretary position.

"I guess I could. It depends on Kururi. Why don't you ask her, Shizu-chan? Apart from Mairu, you're the one she gets along with." His lover muttered bitterly.

"Flea, are you jealous?" Shizuo asked fishing in his pocket. "Damn it. I forgot my sweets." Izaya reached over to the glove box pulling it open where four bags of sweets fell out. "Thanks."

x-x-x

"Shizuo." Kyouko smiled opening the door. "You're early, come in." As usual he found himself in a warm embrace. "Thank you for the cookies." Shizuo had little chance to speak as he was ushered inside. "Emi, your parents are here."

"Mama!" His daughter chimed running into his leg. Smiling softly he lifted her into his arms. "Is it time to go home? We were watching a film."

"Are we too early?" Shizuo asked slightly guilty.

"There's about half an hour of the film left. Why don't you stay for a drink? Izaya you know where everything is. Come on Shizuo."

"This isn't my house. I'm a guest." The raven dead panned.

"You're my son and you'll do as you are told." Kyouko said leading him into the living room. Izaya sighed shaking his head heading for the kitchen. "Has everything been okay?" Shizuo nodded smiling at Izaya's father and his trouble making long haired sister in law.

"Hi Iza-nii, Shizu-nii." Mairu smiled clenching her fingers. It was clear that she didn't want to be there. The older twin was athletic and hated standing still. Even now Mairu's eyes shifted to the door looking for an escape.

"Where's Kururi?" Izaya asked holding a tray of drinks.

"Upstairs in her room." Mairu told him with a bitter grin. Shizuo nodded gently lowering Emi back onto the floor. Izaya's old bedroom had finally been taken over by Kururi who had asked for her own room.

"I'll go and see her." Shizuo took his drink leaving the rest to continue watching the film they had interrupted. Slowly he walked up the stairs knocking on the door. "Kururi, can I come in?" Taking his phone from his pocket the screen flashed up with a reply. Pushing open the door, the blond stepped into the bedroom. Kururi was sitting on the bed laptop balanced on her knees, phone beside her. The room had changed a lot since She had taken the room. The curtains were a dark green, the same as the covers. Plush toys lined the shelves along with books on how to communicate.

"...Shizu-nii." Kururi smiled putting the laptop to one side. _It's good to see you. _Flashed up on his phone. Shizuo hadn't even seen her pick up the phone.

"You too. Grabbing the computer chair Shizuo took a seat rolling away from the desk. "You aren't watching the film with the others?" Kururi stretched showing off her long legs and belly. The white shorts and dark green short sleeved hooded sweatshirt doing nothing to hide her voluptuous body. Even now the twins stuck to their chosen colours. For Mairu it was yellow and for Kururi it was green.

_I don't feel like it. _Was his response. Shizuo lowered his head. Maybe it would have been better for her real brother to come in. _I'm talking with my friends at the moment. _The laptop was turned his way so he could see the chat log.

"Izaya mentioned you wanted to move out." Kururi looked shocked for the moment, the twenty year old getting off of the bed to throw her arms around him. "Kururi? Is something wrong?" For a moment he thought there would be no reply.

_Mairu wants to. I don't want to. _Mairu again. Shizuo sighed patting Kururi's back gently. _I can't. _There was no advice he could give. He knew well why Kururi didn't want to go. It was a secret between the two of them. _Help me._

"You know I will." Shizuo told his little sister. "Staying in your room avoiding everyone won't help. I should know. If you want you could go and work for Izaya?" Kururi shook her head clutching onto his shirt.

"...not Iza-nii." Was the soft spoken response. "...Shizu-nii." Kururi clutched tighter to him.

"You'd prefer to work with me?" His sister nodded. "I'm not sure if that's possible. Shiki-san might not approve of you working at the bar." Not to mention Kururi probably wouldn't be able to protect herself. Then again Anri had been quiet, shy and soft spoken as well. "I'll ask him for you."

"...thank you." Shizuo returned the smile even though he knew the answer would probably be no. _What do I do in the meantime? _

"For a start you can say hello to your niece." The blond stood up slowly holding out his hand. "I was hoping you could stop Mairu from teaching her anything bad."

"...try." Kururi smiled taking his hand. Together the two of them left the room. At the top of the stairs his lover was waiting for them. "...Iza-nii." His sister in law squeezed his hand tighter hiding behind him.

"Shizu-chan?"

"Izaya. You're not watching the film?" His brow furrowed in question seeing his lover staring at his hand.

"No, there's not much point. Besides you know how I am with films." Shizuo sighed knowing exactly what his lover was like, correctly predicting how things were going to go. Spoiler was the word for the flea.

"That's true. Kururi do you want to say hello to Emi? I have to make a call." Slowly his hand was released the shy woman slowly making her way downstairs. Shizuo urged her on each time she looked back helplessly at him.

The blond followed hearing his daughter's happy voice at finally seeing her auntie. "Shizu-chan, you got her out of her room." Izaya said behind him.

"Yeah. I'll be back in a minute. I need to make a call."

"Did you talk to her about working at TGOI?" Shizuo sighed hearing the suspicious tone in his lover's voice.

"She doesn't want to."

"Oh? How did you get her to come out then?" Shizuo shrugged continuing down the stairs. Reaching the front door he pulled out his phone, already dialling his boss's number. To his surprise it wasn't his Shiki that answered.

_Hanejima no neechan, isn't it your day off? _Shizuo sighed wondering what he had interrupted hearing Akabayashi's voice so clear over the phone.

"Is Shiki-san there? I want to ask him something."

_Yes he is. Hold on a moment. _He could hear the phone exchanging hands. _Orihara-san. I do believe I gave you a day off. What can I do for you?_

"Shiki-san, is there any room for another employee at Artic? I was hoping you could hire Izaya's younger sister." There was a slight pause on the other end.

_Orihara-san, I will have to think it over. I will let you know when you come in on Monday. This doesn't mean yes or no. If you'll excuse me I have something urgent to attend with._

"Thank you, Shiki-san." Ending the call the blond turned around only to face his lover, crimson orbs were narrowed. He knew what that look meant.

"Shizu-chan, what do you think you're doing? Did you promise Kururi that she could work with you?" Izaya pulled him further down the path.

"No. I told her I would ask Shiki for her. I didn't promise anything. What's that look for?"

"You know what, protozoan. I don't like the idea of my little sister relying on you so much. She's too attached to you."

Shizuo sighed his shoulders drooping. "You don't have anything to worry about. She's in love with someone she can't be with." After he said it he realised how his lover would take it.

"That's exactly what I mean. Don't encourage her. You're mine, Shizu-chan."

"I didn't mean me. Kururi confided in me."

"Hm...I still don't like it. What did Shiki-san say?"

"He had something to do. He'll let me know tomorrow."

"Tomorrow we have parents evening, Shizu-chan." Oh. Yes they did. He was hoping his lover would forget. It looked like that wasn't the case. Shaking his head the blond said nothing instead checking his phone.

_I said hello to Emi. I'm sorry it's too painful. _Kururi had gone back into her bedroom unable to be around Mairu. It was a promise between the two of them. Turning his phone he let Izaya read the message. "Do you get it now?"

It wasn't as if he had told Izaya. "...Oh. Those two have always been close. Mairu was touchy feely when then were younger. Looks like it wasn't a faze. But that changes nothing. I don't like the idea of Kururi being with you all day." Shizuo sighed. Trying to calm his lover's jealousy was a bitch.

The front door flew wide open an angry looking Mairu storming out. "See you Iza-nii, Shizu-nii." The dark shirt fluttered as she went, the long sleeved yellow top making it barely visible.

"What was that about?" Shizuo asked quietly watching her go. "Is she in her rebellious stage?"

"Probably an argument with my mother. Mairu already went through that stage when she was younger."

"You're still going through yours." Shizuo smirked walking back to the house. He hoped Emi hadn't picked up on the tenseness in the house. Of course that wasn't the case. Even before he saw his daughter, the blond could hear Kyouko's soothing voice.

"Shh. I'm sorry about your Mairu."

"Does she hate me?"

"No. Both your aunties love you. Kururi even came out of her room to see you." Shizuo sighed knowing that he had most likely caused it. "Shizuo, thank you for your help."

"Mama!" Stepping forward Emi slid from Kyouko's lap.

"Is the film finished?" His daughter nodded her head burying against his chest. Glancing at the screen he could see that wasn't the case. "Say goodbye to your nana then, we'll go and see Aiko and Kenta."

Filled with excitement Emi wriggled out of his arms going back to hug Kyouko and Shirou. "Come on then, let's get you in the car." The little girl ran past him into Izaya's arms.

"Thanks for looking after her." Shizuo smiled turning to leave.

"Shizuo." Kyouko stopped him taking his hand. "Izaya and your brother mentioned you might not appreciate this. Even so Happy Birthday." Shizuo blinked his mood dropping again.

"...thanks. I should go help Izaya." Letting go he forced a smile to both of his in-laws quickly leaving the house. Taking a deep breath he opened the car door dropping down into the passenger seat. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to go out after all.

"Everything okay, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked leaning over. "You look a bit pale. You didn't catch my cold did you?" Shaking his head Shizuo turned away staring out of the window. At the top of the house the curtain twitched.

x-x-x

As soon as he knocked on the door, it was obvious that the Kishitani family were feeling better. Rushed footsteps could be heard as a small child tried to impatiently open the door, along with a loud wailing voice. "Aiko, my beloved daughter. Don't answer the door to strange- gah!"

The door opened and there was his best friend standing there with a smile. "Shizuo-san!" Aiko smiled up at him tugging at his pant leg. Gently he lowered Emi down and the two girls were off running to Aiko's bedroom.

"What about me?" Izaya grumbled leaning against his shoulder. "Hi Shinra."

"Quit whining, flea. You know it's because I was the one holding Emi. Hey Shinra." Shizuo followed the illegal doctor to the sofa. Just in time to see Celty tip toeing from the bedroom. Her head raised seeing them standing there.

Shizuo smiled caught in an embrace much to the chagrin of her husband, who's idea of retaliation was to give him a death glare. It wasn't anything new to feel stares boring into him. In Shinra's case you could count to three before either Celty punched him in the ribs or Izaya slapped him around the back of the head. Today it looked like it was Izaya's turn.

Shinra's head bobbed forward. Celty gave them all a stern glare placing a finger against her lips. Izaya smirked taking a seat on the sofa, Shinra following looking like a kicked puppy. "You've all recovered then?"

_It's been a nightmare. I'm never letting Shinra cook again. Throwing up whilst looking after Kenta... _Shizuo read the words knowing exactly how that felt. It took him back to when he had looked after Aiko whilst pregnant with Emi. _Sorry I'm going on and on. I take it Izaya is feeling better?_

"The flea is like a cockroach. Nothing will keep him down." Seeing his lover and Shinra talking animatedly, Shizuo opened the fridge taking out the milk. Celty took it from him looking like she hadn't slept. "...Emi brought home a letter from school." He said slowly. His friend paused with the mugs in hand tilting her head slowly in question. "Parents evening. Tomorrow night."

_Oh. Does Izaya know?_

"He's cancelled a meeting for it." Shizuo muttered bitterly handing over the hot chocolate. Celty kept it especially for when he came around.

_Ah. He's going to find out then? _Celty patted his shoulder sympathetically. Glancing over to the sofa, the blond turned away catching Izaya's sharp gaze.

"Yeah, he's going to find out. Knowing him he probably knows something already. I overheard Emi mentioning something."

You think he's going to harm Emi's school life?

"I don't know. I've been holding back so there's no trouble for her. I hoped he wouldn't come."

"Are you making me a coffee?" Izaya asked leaning on the counter. Celty simply nodded. "Shinra wants one too. I'll check if Emi wants a drink." Shizuo stood frozen watching as his lover vanished.

_Do you think he heard us? _Celty typed. Shizuo shrugged unable to tell from Izaya's reaction. A shrill cry crackled from the monitor. Taking the spoon he took over making the drinks whilst his best friend went to take care of her son.

x-x-x

Shizuo carried the tray of drinks over to the table where Shinra flitted around the sofa, making love sick faces. Celty was sitting on the sofa cradling a small baby boy. Their eyes met one hand patting the space next to her. Shizuo sat down gently taking the child. Kenta was as adorable as Aiko. Six months old and already dozing now that he had been fed. A tiny hand reached out brushing against his much bigger hand. A hand rested on his shoulder, Celty smiling softly at him.

"Shizu-chan!" And the moment was gone, the almost sleeping child now alert and in full wail. "Hello Kenta-kun, crying again?" Shizuo sighed offering for the flea to fix what he had caused. "The last time I held one of Shinra's children, I got baby sick on my coat."

Shizuo shrugged handing the baby boy back to his mother. "Did Emi want anything to drink?" His lover nodded picking up the mug of coffee.

"She wants chocolate milkshake."

"My beloved brought some when she went shopping." Shinra informed them sitting on the arm of the chair.

"Thanks Celty." Shizuo was already vacating the seat going to the fridge. He didn't have to turn back to know Shinra had occupied it. "Emi, come down here." The blond called. Two giggles sounded, Aiko and Emi rushing down the stairs. "Here you go."

"Thanks mama."

"Thanks Shizuo-san." Aiko smiled taking hers. Shizuo led them back to the sofa taking his own mug. His daughter lost interest in her milkshake placing it on the table. Innocent crimson widened, Emi stood by Celty's knee staring at Kenta.

"He's still small." Emi whispered.

"You were that small once." Izaya smiled.

"Why doesn't he talk yet?"

"Because he's still young." Shinra grinned reaching over to hold his son. Shizuo sipped his hot chocolate seeing the look in his daughter's eyes.

"Emi, why don't you drink your milkshake and go play with Aiko?" As if hypnotised his daughter followed where Kenta was, ignoring him completely. Shizuo groaned inwardly knowing what was coming.

x-x-x

Shizuo had been expecting the question. Each time they visited Celty, it was clear to see in his daughter's actions. He had said to wait until Izaya was better and now that he was... "Dada?"

"Yes sweetie?" The raven asked in the driver's seat. Shizuo groaned inwardly sensing what was coming.

"Where do babies come from?" The car braked sharply as the traffic light changed to red. "Dada?" The look on his lover's face was absolutely priceless.

"Haven't you learnt that in school?" Izaya asked without turning around. Shizuo could see the poker face crack at the unexpected question. Emi was upholding her reputation for asking difficult questions.

"No, not yet. Mama said to ask you." His daughter said reflection smiling in the small mirror. Accusing crimson slid to him.

"Did he now? Well since you came from your mother's tummy, I think he should be the one to tell you." Shizuo blinked letting the words sink in.

"I was born from mama's tummy? Is that why Celty-san looked so big?" Emi asked innocently. Izaya's lips twitched.

"At least she didn't say fat." Shizuo shook his head. If only they weren't in a car. "Well Shizu-chan?"

"Since your father was the one who got me pregnant I think he should be the one to tell you."

"It takes two, protozoan."

"Protozoan? My teacher said that means stupid. Why are you calling mama stupid?"

"It's an endearment, sweetie. Shizu-chan knows I don't mean it." Shizuo scoffed pretty sure that Izaya did mean it. Anyone else calling him that would face being hurled into oblivion. The raven saying it though...well it was nothing. The only insult Izaya would give him that meant anything was when he used his full name.

"Oh. Is that why mama calls you a flea?" Shizuo groaned knowing that he should have been more careful what he said around his daughter. Up ahead another set of traffic lights turned red.

"I'm not sure." Izaya gave him the puppy dog eyes. "Is that an endearment or are you being mean, Shizu-chan?"

"...Izaya..."

"Well? Which is it?"

"You know which." Shizuo grit his teeth.

"Do I? What do you think, sweetie?"

"Don't get Emi involved." At last the light turned green allowing them to move along. "Emi did you finish your homework?"

"Yes. Mama. Are you trying to change the subject?" Shizuo coughed crushing the sweet in his hand. Izaya was laughing. "I overheard dada saying that you change the subject when you don't want to talk about something."

"...No it's because you have school tomorrow." That was the problem with having a smart child, Izaya didn't help. Emi fell silent and Shizuo crossed his fingers hoping that was the last of it.

"I know babies come from mamas' tummies. How do they get there?" The blond slumped in his seat. "Should I ask Shinra-san instead?"

"No!" He and Izaya said in unison. "We'll tell you. Wait until we get home, okay?" Emi nodded in agreement.

"I'll wait...are we there yet?" Shizuo covered a smile. His face fell just thinking about the conversation they were going to have when they got home. Time was up, it was time to let someone else in on his secret.

**Next:- Best friends**


	7. Best friends

**Best friends**

It wasn't much of a secret any more, not with the amount of people that knew. His parents had been the first to know and they had treated him like the freak he had felt he was. Then it was Kasuka, who had stood by his side helping with each one of his changes. Izaya had been the first to discover what he was without him saying a word. Shiki and Akabayashi had known all along, leaving him to tell Celty. The only one he had willingly confided in. With his pregnancy he had been forced to tell everyone.

It made him think, if he hadn't been pregnant then there would have been no reason to tell anyone else. He would have still been hiding what he really was from the people close to him, the people that he counted as friends. His daughter had truly been a blessing, most likely saving his and Izaya's relationship in the process. It was a scary to even think about life any different than what he had now. Scary but it did happen.

Now he needed to tell his daughter what he was and maybe what her children would be in the future. "Shizu-chan." It was times like this when he craved a cigarette. "Everything okay? If you don't want to do this..."

"No I'll do it." Shizuo gripped the side board in the kitchen. "It has to be me."

"Yeah. I'll finish making the drinks. Go and sit down." Izaya turned him to face the door pushing him in the right direction. Of all days to do this he hadn't thought that he would be doing this today. The blond had been thrown from his comfort zone.

His daughter was sitting on the sofa being the quietest he had ever seen her be. Taking a seat next to her, Shizuo took her small hand in his. "Mama, did I ask something wrong?"

"No, nothing like that." The blond said lifting Emi onto his lap. "It was just a little earlier than expected. Emi, what I tell you, can you promise me not to tell anyone else?" It wasn't just to keep his secret hidden.

"Here you go, Shizu-chan." Izaya placed the drinks carefully on the table. For him it was hot chocolate, for Izaya it was strong coffee and another milkshake for Emi.

"Thanks dada." Their drinks remained on the table. Although the raven had his poker face on, he could tell Izaya was tense and that was picked up by Emi who had already questioned if she had said something wrong.

"You know babies come from mamas' tummies. You see when a man and a woman love each other..." Shizuo groaned inwardly feeling his cheeks heat up. "...They do something that you'll learn in school when you're older." He spluttered miserably. Next to him he could see Izaya covering a grin. He knew the conversation wasn't over by a long shot. Maybe she would ask Shinra or try and get it out of Izaya when he wasn't around.

"Mama, you said a man and a woman. You and papa are both men. Does that mean you're not mama?" His daughter asked without meaning any harm.

"Emi-" Shizuo placed a hand over Izaya's mouth shaking his head. He had already heard it once. It hurt the same as the first time too.

"Usually yes. But some people are born...different. I'm one of those people. Even though I am a man, I do have the same parts as a woman. Does that make sense?"

"That means mama is special?" Emi asked leaning against his chest.

"That's exactly it. Your mummy is special. It's because he's special that you could be born." Izaya grinned.

"I understand. I'm sorry mama." Shizuo sighed ruffling Emi's hair. "I said something bad."

"It's okay. You didn't know. Does that answer all your questions?" His daughter nodded slowly hugging his middle. "Good girl. Now why don't you drink your milkshake?" Special? Him? Shizuo reached over picking up both drinks.

"Mama. Do you and papa still love each other?" Izaya's grin widened.

"Of course we do. Don't we, Shizu-chan?" Shizuo mumbled his agreement. "Why do you ask?"

"Because you said it takes love to make a baby. Does that mean I can have a brother or sister?" Crap. He could see Izaya's expression turn dark.

"I'm afraid not, sweetie. Your mummy would get sick." Izaya said after a moment. "You wouldn't want that would you?"

"Izaya." Shizuo glared at his lover seeing the scared look Emi was giving them.

"...would mama get better?" Shizuo slumped.

"Probably not. Which is why you can't have a little brother or sister, okay?"

"Yes dada. I wanted one because Aiko had one. I'm sorry, I don't want you to get sick mama." Shizuo shot another glare at Izaya, his daughter clutching to him with tears in her eyes.

"Hm, something that Aiko-chan hasn't got? We could get you a pet." Shizuo narrowed his eyes. Most likely he would be the one looking after it. "What about a cat?"

"Are you serious? They're lazy and I'll probably get scratched to pieces."

"I thought you'd be okay with it Shizu-chan, you are a neko after all." Izaya smirked. Shizuo flushed.

"Don't talk about that. We are not getting a cat. What about a dog?" He didn't mind the four legged furry creatures.

"A dog? No way, they're high maintenance, unpredictable, noisy, all they want is attention and constantly trying to hump your leg. Out of the question."

"Sounds like you." Shizuo said under his breath. Wiping his daughter's tears away he asked her. "Emi, what pet do you want?" His little girl sniffled against his chest.

x-x-x

He wasn't sure how he made it through the rest of the day but the blond had. Emi now knew what he was and like Izaya had accepted him. She had been a bit quieter going to her room to play. Until dinner time he hadn't heard a peep from her.

Now it was bed time. Shizuo had packed Emi's school bag already for tomorrow. His daughter did everything she was told without being asked twice. It worried him that maybe it had been too early to say something. "Good night, mama. I love you."

Taking a seat on the bed the blond gazed at his little girl. "Emi, did we tell you too early?" She hadn't asked for a story or tried to stall for time.

"No. I was the one that asked. I'm going to sleep now." With that Emi turned away from him closing her eyes.

"...okay, goodnight." Standing from the bed Shizuo walked to the door looking back to see a bump under the covers. Brushing his hand over the light switch, the blond left the room. Emi had gone to bed in record time. It made him feel a little unwanted.

Trudging down the stairs he could see Izaya sitting on the sofa channel hopping. "Shizu-chan? That was quick. Is she asleep?"

"Yeah, she didn't even ask for a story." Dropping down on the sofa, Izaya shifted closer to him.

"Maybe she's growing up. Don't look so down."

"I know. I get the feeling she was too young to know. We shouldn't have told her." Shizuo sighed leaning forward. On the table was a large slice of chocolate cake.

"I don't think that's it. It might be because she can't have a younger sibling. She'll get over it." Izaya leaned forward taking his coffee. "Now why don't you eat your cake?" Shizuo looked at it suspiciously. "It's just cake. There's no meaning to it."

"Hm. I'll eat it tomorrow. I'm going to bed. Goodnight Izaya." The sooner this day was over the better.

"Turning down cake? I guess it was too much for you today. Good night Shizu-chan." Shizuo nodded retreating to the bedroom. Shrugging down to his boxers the blond dressed in his lounge pants and top, slipping under the covers. He thought about recording everything in his diary but that would mean reliving his memories.

Izaya trying to celebrate his birthday, Kyouko wishing him a happy birthday, his daughter learning the truth of what he was as well as asking for a baby brother or sister. His lover was right, today had been too much.

x-x-x

Shizuo cracked an eye open wondering what had woken him. Izaya was sleeping next to him, snoring softly though if he said anything it would be denied. Sitting up he could see someone standing in the doorway. "Emi?"

"Huh? Shizu-chan?" His lover asked waking up. "What's wrong?" Slipping from the bed Shizuo switched on the light seeing Emi in her pink nightdress clutching her plush bunny. "Emi? Why are you awake? It's the middle of the night."

"I-I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?" Shizuo nodded lifting Emi into his arms. A nightmare? Was because of what he had said? "Thanks mama."

"A nightmare? Dreams can't hurt you, sweetie. They're just dreams." Lowering Emi between them, Shizuo switched off the light climbing back into bed. He could feel small hands clutch at his lounge top. "Do you remember what it was about?"

"...no." Came a small voice in the darkness.

"Well that's a good thing. Nothing will hurt you, your mummy and I will make sure of that."

"But what if someone hurts mama or you?" Shizuo swallowed wrapping his arms around his daughter, holding her close. Izaya laughed softly.

"That won't happen. Your mama and I are strong. Try and go back to sleep, sweetie." Shizuo closed his eyes feeling Izaya's hands resting on his arms. His lover was talking about physical pain not psychological.

x-x-x

Shizuo could feel gentle fingers in his hair, a kiss upon his cheek. Opening his eyes he found himself staring into sharp crimson. "Good morning, Shizu-chan. Couldn't leave without my kiss. I'll see you tonight."

"Mm?" The blond groaned sitting up, a hand clenched in his hair. "Ow." Emi was sprawled across the bed in a star shape, clutching at his hair.

"Our little restless sleeper." Izaya smiled. "Hold on I'll get it." Slowly her little fingers were lifted his dyed locks released. "There we go. Have a good day, Shizu-chan. Breakfast is on the side." With that he was kissed again this time on the lips, then his lover was gone.

"Emi come on time to wake up." Shaking his daughter awake was a hard task. "Time to get ready for school."

"Mama?" Confused crimson gazed at him. "Where's dada?" Shizuo lifted her from the bed so she couldn't go back to sleep.

"Your father has gone to work. Breakfast is in the kitchen and you have less than an hour to get ready for school." Now why don't you go and eat while I have a shower?" Emi threw her arms around him.

x-x-x

Shizuo towelled his hair dry his hand pausing as he caught sight of his daughter curled up on the bed. "Emi, why aren't you getting ready for school?"

"I'm not going." His little girl said stubbornly crossing her arms. "I don't want to go to school. I want to stay here."

"Emi, you need to go to school." Shizuo sat on the bed in front of his daughter. "Are you feeling sick?" Emi shook her head. "Then why don't you want to go? Don't you want to see your friends?"

"I don't want to go. Mama doesn't like school. I want to protect mama." Shizuo sighed softly brushing a stray lock of hair from Emi's face. "Dada said you can't be hurt but mama always looks sad when we go to school."

"Sweetie, that's...is that what you were thinking yesterday? There's no need to worry. I'm an adult, it's an adult's job to protect children. Not the other way around. Are you having any problems in school?"

"...no. You said words hurt mama, so I had to be careful not to say anything bad. Do they not hurt you?" Shizuo lifted Emi into his lap placing a kiss upon her forehead.

"It bothers me if you don't go to school. You don't need to worry about anything. Now breakfast or shower? If you're late we won't be able to meet up with Celty and Aiko."

"...I'll go." Emi let go of him wriggling down to the floor.

"Good girl. I'll go and get your clothes. You go and eat your breakfast." His little girl nodded running from the room. Shizuo dropped back on the bed already exhausted.

x-x-x

"Got your bag?" Shizuo asked putting on his coat.

"Yes mama."

"Your coat?"

"Yes mama."

"Shoes?"

"I'm all ready. Can we go now?" Emi asked tugging impatiently at his sleeve. At least she was over her concern for him. That was the last thing he had wanted.

"Come on then. Do you want me to carry you or do you want to walk?" The blond crouched ready to pick her up expecting a tight grip around his neck.

"...I'll walk." Shizuo blinked.

"Are you sure?" He asked concerned.

"I want to walk. Come on mama." The smaller hand reached out for his. Shizuo held his daughter's hand, grabbing the keys and leaving the house.

x-x-x

By the time they were halfway and meeting up with Celty and Aiko, Emi was sitting on his shoulders sulking that her legs had begun to hurt. He still didn't know the reason for her odd behaviour.

"Emi, there's Aiko." Lifting his daughter from his shoulders, Shizuo let her stand on her own two feet, walking hand in hand with her best friend. The two little girls walked in front of them. Whilst he and Celty communicated.

_How was it yesterday?_

"You mean my birthday?" Shizuo asked quietly. "Day from hell."

"Eh? It was your birthday yesterday, mama?" The two girls stopped and looked up at them. "I didn't know." Shizuo cursed inwardly feeling guilt stab him where it hurt. "Why didn't you or dada say anything?"

"Do you remember what I told you yesterday?" Shizuo didn't wait for an answer. "I promise next year I'll celebrate it with everyone." His daughter was silent for a few moments before beaming up at him with a big smile.

"Okay mama." The girls continued walking ahead. Celty tapped him on the shoulder.

_You told her?_

"Yeah, it was the second time she asked."

_Oh. How did she take it? _

"I don't know. At first it seemed okay. She didn't want to go to school this morning." Shizuo sighed unwrapping one of his suckable sweets. He grimaced as he popped it into his mouth. "Ugh lemon."

_She was probably just shocked. Give her time. You haven't done anything wrong. _Celty smiled softly letting him read the message.

x-x-x

Shizuo crouched down taking his daughter's hand and placing a kiss against her forehead. "Have a good day, sweetie." Next to him he could see Celty doing the same thing, the little girls still holding hands.

"I will. See you later mama." The two of them ran off leaving him and Celty waving by the gate. Now he had the rest of the day to kill until tonight. His friend's hand rested on his shoulder.

_Do you want to go to the bakery? I'll only have to put up with Shinra fawning over me. _Shizuo raised a brow.

"I thought you like it when he does that? It means he loves you."

_Not when I'm trying to read. I found this book I really like and every time I sit down to read it, Shinra declares his love for me as loud as he can. I regret saying he could use the spare room again_.

Shizuo blinked in surprise, a small chuckle leaving him. "I know the feeling. I still haven't memorised a single page of that theory book. Izaya thinks it's a waste of time." The two of them turned away from the school taking their time as they caught up on the latest going on in their lives.

x-x-x

Years ago they would have met in the park, it was their place for just the two of them. However since he had shown Izaya, the park had lost it's specialness. Which was why they had relocated to a quiet little bakery.

Celty had been the one to stumble onto it, when Aiko had wanted a birthday cake for Emi. All it had taken was a single bite of the soft sponge and Shizuo had been addicted. Piece of heaven. The little store was aptly named.

There was only room for four tables, each a dark oak. The chairs were comfy and the glass covered counter ran across the other side of the store. Best of all the windows were tinted so they could see out but no one could see in. It was perfect for them and their little secret. Neither Izaya or Shinra knew.

Well Izaya probably knew about it, since the bakery was owned by Takara, one of his old work mates from TGOI. She had left to fulfil her own dreams and provide a future for her child. Occasionally he saw some of the others but not as much.

Both he and Celty were crouched down in front of the glass, his mouth watering at the beautifully decorated cakes. "Orihara-san, Kishitani-san what can I get you this morning?" Shizuo wasn't sure if he would ever get used to being called Orihara. It was the same with Celty. "The two of you make the same faces each time."

Shizuo took out his wallet trying to decide on what to get. Today he would treat himself. "Strawberry cheese cake and..." His eyes skimmed the shelves. "...caramel shortcake."

"No problem. Drink?" Takara was already holding up the tongs.

"Large hot chocolate please."

"Cream?" Shizuo nodded staring at the poster on the wall. "Chocolate sprinkles?" He nodded again like an excited child. "Coming right up. Kishitani-san?" Placing the money on the counter, the blond went to their usual table. Although Takara was the one that served them, it was her husband that made the cakes. Her hot chocolate though was delicious.

_How did Emi find out?_

"She asked me on the way home Friday how babies were made. They were asked to draw pictures of their family. I told her to wait until Izaya was better. She asked again after we left yours yesterday."

_Ah. _

"Yeah. The reason she wanted to know was because she wanted a younger brother or sister like Aiko."

_Did you tell her you can't have any more children?_

"Izaya did." Shizuo paused as a small silver tray was placed down in front of him. His two slices of cake were placed neatly on folded napkins with the store's logo. Next to it was a large takeaway cup, that too was silver. Celty's was placed down in front of her. A regular sized hot chocolate and a slice of shortcake.

Taking the lid off, Shizuo was met with a mountain of creamy foam. Picking up the spoon he had been given he dug right in. "We've said she can have a pet instead. Emi doesn't really want a sibling, it's because Aiko has one." Celty nodded stirring her own drink.

_You look stressed. What's wrong? _Shizuo found himself smiling as he read the message. Not much got by Celty. Putting the spoon down, the blond slipped the rubber ring wrapper from his finger, his wedding band falling onto the table.

"I broke my wedding ring. Luckily Shiki chose that moment to give us new uniform. I haven't told Izaya yet. I was hoping I could get it fixed. Guess it was too good to be true with my strength." His heart jumped seeing Celty pick up his wedding ring.

_It's snapped clean through. I've heard that you can get jewellery repaired. Do you know where Izaya got it from? They should be able to repair it. _Shizuo felt the small glimmer of hope flare and them die as he read his friend's words.

"No. I don't. I'm not sure if I could find out either." If he asked straight out then the flea would get suspicious. The band had already suffered wear and tear over the years before finally breaking due to his carelessness.

_Do you still have the original box? _Shizuo shook his head cutting a bit of his cheesecake. There had been no need to keep the box. _What about a receipt? _From that long ago? Doubtful. Besides Izaya dealt with his own finances. _Maybe you could find someone else do to it? It doesn't have to be the same jeweller. Why don't you tell Izaya?_

Shizuo stopped chewing thinking the question over. Why hadn't he told his lover? Surely the raven had been expecting him to damage it with his strength. A cold ball settled in his gut as his thoughts went back to his conversation with Kadota. "Because I don't have many secrets from him. Did you know Izaya has a new secretary?"

Celty's eyes went wide and he knew that she hadn't known. "It's stupid. If he had told me it would have been okay. I don't know why he didn't just tell me." His friend's gentle hand rested on his.

_Shizuo, you don't work at TGOI any more. If Izaya hasn't told you it's probably because he doesn't think it's important. _

"Yeah maybe. I guess it's a shock since he used to constantly pester me to go back and work for him. I can't even remember the woman's name."

_Maybe he has finally accepted what you want to do. Both you and Izaya are continuing to change. _

"Thanks Celty." Shizuo smiled going back to his cheese cake and sickly sweet hot chocolate. Celty smiled back sipping her drink. Taking his ring from the table, the blond slipped it back on his finger being as careful as he could. All his worries seemed to have faded away for now.

**Next:- Parents evening**


	8. Parents evening

**Parents evening**

_A/N:- Thank you for the reviews. Sorry this chapter is longer. I use a documents app to type when I'm not on my laptop and the damn thing doesn't have word count. Anyways I hope you enjoy. _

_Dear diary,_

_Celty and I had just over and hour together before she was bombarded with voice mails and text messages from a panicky Shinra. With a hug and a wave we separated, she going back to Shinra and her son. Whilst I go back to a day by myself until it's time to pick up my little girl. _

_I admit it was kind of pathetic calling a cab to avoid bumping into anyone instead of braving it and walking home. Being with others is what makes me strong. I know that now. The problem is when I'm alone. Without Izaya, Emi and my friends I'm weak, even with my abnormal strength. _

_The groceries are due to be delivered any time within the next hour. That's the great thing about the internet, I don't have to deal with the rigmarole of going to the store in person. Maybe in the future I'll be able to by myself but for now I thank technology and home delivery. _

_After what feels like forever, parents evening is tonight. I'll have to meet Emi's teacher, for better or worse Izaya would be there too. I know it's going to be bad and if we screw it up Emi is the one that is going to suffer. I'll let you know how things go._

Shizuo put the pen down locking his diary away and sliding it back safely under the bed. It wasn't anything big but he had promised that he would write more in the diary. If he was still at TGOI it would be lunch time and he and his work colleagues would in the canteen. With a sigh the blond took a seat on the sofa grabbing the drivers theory book. At least now he could put some time into learning.

Next to him his phone buzzed. He hadn't even opened the book yet. Picking up his phone he could see the message was from Kururi. _Any news? _Shizuo text back immediately that he hadn't asked yet and would when he went to work tonight. _Okay. Thank you, Shizu-nii. _

Putting his phone back down, the blond tried again reading the first line. His memory and lack of interest would be his enemy, that was if he had a chance to. Someone was knocking at the door. "Coming." Shizuo put the book to one side getting up to answer the door. "Wha-" it wasn't the delivery man.

Being married to Izaya meant nothing much surprised him...usually. "Shizu-Shizu!" He was enveloped in a hug by an over excited friend. "It's been so long." Karisawa skipped past him followed by Walker who was holding their young child Miki.

"Shizuo-san." Mikado gave him a small bow and a smile. Following him was Kida and bringing in the rear was a much better looking Kadota. The admin department of TGOI were standing in his home holding bags of takeaway.

"Aren't you happy, Shizu-Shizu? We came to see you." The otaku beamed dropping down on the sofa. Shizuo closed the door left speechless. Kadota patted him on the shoulder with an apologetic smile.

"Sorry Shizuo, I mentioned I saw you at Artic and everyone wanted to see you. Is it a problem us being here?"

"No, I was a little surprised. Does the flea know you're here?" Judging by the nervous look Mikado was giving him that was a no. It didn't matter he hadn't eaten yet, besides he could do with the company. "Okay, what did you get?"

"We didn't know what you wanted, there's more than plenty for all of us. Tuna, salmon sashimi. Egg, sweet shrimp nagiri. Salmon or chicken teriyaki. Mixed onigiri and ice cream. They only had green tea flavour." Shizuo shrugged not minding what he ate. The variety Izaya had made him eat had gotten rid of his reluctance for healthy and anything not sweet.

The blond took his share knowing that his old work mates would be there for less than an hour before they had to go back to work. "Shizuo-san, I'm sorry we didn't say stop by on Saturday. We had to rush off."

"Yeah sorry. I bet it's good not working for that bastard any more." Yes, nothing changed. Kida still hated Izaya. "I feel sorry for the new chick." And there it was. Another mention of his lover's new secretary. "Have you met her?"

"Masaomi!" Mikado gasped. "I'm sorry, Shizuo-san." Shizuo shrugged continuing to eat.

"It's fine. I already knew about it. She's getting big." The blond turned his attention to the small child.

"Fifteen months now." The doting parent smiled. "I never knew how good sleep was. Mm this is good. Dotachin let me try yours. I don't know what you said Shizu-Shizu but Dotachin is back to normal." The two of them shared a glance. "When Miki was seven months I didn't have time for anything." Five whole minutes and Erika hasn't screeched or squealed, if that wasn't a miracle he didn't know what was.

"We don't see each other enough as we should." Walker added quietly.

"Maybe we could all go somewhere together?" Mikado suggested with a smile.

"It can't be at night. It's my turn to look after Rai." Kadota apologised.

"That's true, if we can't find a baby sitter both I and Yummachi won't be able to come." Karisawa sighed losing some of her spark. Kida leaned over snatching food from Mikado.

"Not really. There doesn't need to be alcohol involved. We go to Artic because you work there. Maybe if we all went to a restaurant or..." The blond grinned leaning forward. "Why don't we have a hot pot party?"

The years had been kind to both Kida and Mikado, well the raven had a glimmer of danger to him but overall they had grown into fine young men. Karisawa paused looking at them slowly. "That is a...great idea. I love it. A hot pot party. When should we do it? Hey what's this?"

Shizuo leaned forward snatching the book from the otaku's hand. "That's mine."

"You're learning to drive?" Kadota asked seeing the book's title before it was hidden away. Shizuo swallowed his mouthful.

"Trying to. I haven't really had much time." That was when the door bell rang and all five of his friends jumped. "It hasn't been an hour yet. That's probably the delivery man." Pushing himself up from the floor Shizuo answered the door, a clipboard held out in front of him. "Thanks." Each of the bags were set down inside the door.

"Do you need any help, Shizuo-san?" Mikado stood behind him offering to give him a hand.

"I've got it. Thanks." Picking up the bags in one go with ease, the blond carried them into the kitchen placing them on the floor. Everything could wait until the gang left. "Kadota, what is that?"

"Sake. It's only a little bit." It wasn't any of his business, whatever Izaya decided to do wasn't anything to do with him.

"Be careful the flea doesn't find out."

"I will. Do you want any?" Turning the offer down Shizuo went back to eating his lunch watching as Kadota and Kida drank themselves into oblivion. His lover wasn't going to be impressed.

x-x-x

It had been an hour and fifteen minutes and his former work colleagues were still in his home. Next to him his phone rang. As expected it was Izaya. "What do you want, flea?"

_That was rude, Shizu-chan. _His lover responded to his greeting. _It's not like I meant to disturb you on purpose. Did Emi get to school okay?_

"Yes, she's in school. Aren't you still at work?" Shizuo asked kicking Kadota with his foot. Kida looked a little tipsy but Kadota was passed out on the sofa.

_Yes. I don't have any meetings today so it's a little boring. Have you done anything interesting today? I have a dozen messages from Shinra complaining. _Of course he did. The illegal doctor was always complaining that he and Celty were taking too long to get home.

"Not really, Celty and I grabbed something to eat. Shinra bombarded her too. Do you have any meetings later?" Meaning was Izaya still coming to parents evening.

_Don't worry, protozoan. I'll be there. You know I have some free time now, why don't I come home for lunch? _Shizuo shivered at the tone.

"I've already eaten. No reason why you can't eat on your own." Everyone else sat holding their breaths with the exception of Kadota passed out on his sofa and Karisawa who didn't read the situation.

"Iza-Iza hasn't eaten yet? There's still some Tuna nagiri left over." Of course she said it intending to be completely harmless.

_I thought as much. _Izaya sighed over the phone. _Tell those idiots to get back to work. Their lunch break was over fifteen minutes ago. _

"Uh, that's..." Everyone else was okay to go back to work except for Kadota.

_Dotachin has been drinking again, hasn't he? _Again? What did that mean? _I'll come and get him, the others I expect to be in my office within the next half hour. See you soon, Shizu-chan. _The call went dead leaving him staring blankly at the device.

"That was Izaya. He wants you in his office within the next half hour, leave Kadota here." The four still awake glanced at each other awkwardly.

x-x-x

Well at least he wasn't bored. Shizuo lay Kadota down on the sofa leaving him in his drunken slumber. He had been left to tidy up, the other four rushing to her back to TGOI before they got in serious trouble. He knew by the key in the lock that Izaya had returned.

"This idiot again." His lover cursed. "I told them not to let him drink. What was he thinking?"

"Hello to you too." Shizuo grabbed the remains of the takeaway throwing everything away.

"What were they doing here? Did you invite them?"

"Of course I didn't, they just turned up. Excuse me the groceries need to be put away." He could see what mood Izaya was in and wanted no part of it. Opening the first bag Shizuo began separating what went in the fridge and what went in the cupboard. "Since you're here do you want a coffee?"

"Tempting." Came the purr behind him, slim arms slipping around his waist. "Very tempting to just stay here with you, Shizu-chan."

"I'm sure your secretary can manage without you." Shizuo slowly turned around seeing the shock in his lover's gaze. "What's that look for?"

"I was going to tell you."

"I don't care, flea. It's your company you can do as you want. It's not like I tell you every little thing. Besides I said coffee not fooling around."

"It's never fooling around with us. Wait! What do you mean you don't tell me everything? You're mine, Shizu-chan. You would tell me everything."

"Works both ways, flea. If you don't want a coffee go back to work."

Izaya stepped closer pressing against him. "I'm not leaving you alone with him." Shizuo shook his head.

"One he's sleeping and two nothing would happen." His lover wasn't having any of it.

"You do remember the last time you went near him when he was drunk, don't you?"

"That was before Vorona. He's married now with a kid. Relax would you? Or if it makes you feel better stay until he wakes up." Jealous god complexed Izaya. Again.

"Hm, I think I will." The flea smiled. "I'm sure we can think of something to do while we wait." Shizuo slapped the hand slipping under his shirt away. They didn't have sex when Emi was in the house, like hell they were when his passed out friend was. "That's a no then?"

"Of course it's a no. Do something useful." Shizuo picked up the bag surprised when it slipped from his fingers. Thinking nothing of it he lifted the bag again handing it to his lover. "What do you want for dinner?"

"Are you on the menu?" His lover purred without missing a beat.

"Here I thought we were past the newly-wed stage. That doesn't work any more, flea."

"So stubborn. Suit yourself." Shizuo shrugged, the two of them putting the groceries away. Thanks to Kadota he got to spend the afternoon with his lover.

x-x-x

Shizuo raised a brow seeing Emi walk towards him instead of running at him full speed. It looked like she was still acting strange. "Mama." She held his hand the pair of them turning away from the school.

"Did you have a good day?" His daughter clutched the strap of her bag. It felt strangely awkward. Izaya he could read, his little girl not so much. Unless she told him, Shizuo had no idea what was wrong.

"Yes mama. Did you?"

"Sweetie is there anything wrong?"

"...no. I'm okay. Where are we going?" Emi asked when they walked back from the school.

"Your father has some free time, he's waiting in the car." Kadota had only woken up an hour ago. Izaya wasn't happy with him but what ever happened wasn't anything to do with him. Well that wasn't entirely true, if Kadota was in trouble Vorona would be icy with him.

"Really?" His little girl perked up smiling up at him. "Dada is here? Where?" She soon spotted the car grabbing his hand with both and pulling him towards the car. "Come on mama." Shizuo let himself be tugged along.

"Okay. I'm coming." Opening the rear car door, Shizuo held it waiting for Emi to climb in. "Seatbelt?"

"I can do it mama." Checking she was secure, the blond closed the door walking around to the other side. "Dada, why are you here? Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I should but I thought I would stay home with your mummy. Aren't you happy you don't have to walk home? Doesn't Celty and Aiko-chan want a lift?" Izaya asked glancing at him.

"Shinra is picking her up. I'm not sure if our interference would be appreciated." Shizuo strapped his seat belt across.

"Fair point. Well then we have three hours before we have to come back. Emi, do you want to eat out to save mummy cooking?"

"I like mama's cooking." His lover chuckled.

"Good answer. However if your mummy checked the rota he'd see it's my turn to cook." Shizuo grimaced behind him he could see Emi make the same reaction. "Hey! My cooking is not that bad. I make sure you two get the necessary nutrients in your diet."

"Dada...can we eat out?" Shizuo smothered a laugh pulling the tinted glasses from his front pocket and placing them on his nose. "Did I say something wrong?" Emi stared innocently at Izaya. Unable to help himself Shizuo doubled over even as he felt heated crimson burn a hole in him.

x-x-x

Ten minutes early. Shizuo stood in front of the gates dreading the next god knows how long. He could see three other families already walking inside. "Come on, Shizu-chan." Izaya's hand rested on his wrist but being his protozoic self he brushed that helping hand away trying to steel himself.

Their only link was Emi holding their hands and walking in the centre. As he walked into the building he could feel the stares on them. Shizuo groaned kneading his forehead trying to will away the migraine that was coming. "So which classroom is yours?" Izaya asked taking charge.

The blond was more than happy for him to, feeling sick to his stomach. School was a time of confusion and fear for him and walking the halls brought back memories of his own school life. "This way." His daughter smiled leading them in the direction. All of the doors were closed with plastic hard backed chairs in a line outside each room. "It's this one."

They were the first there, the three of them taking up three of the four chairs, Shizuo the furthest away from the door. His terrible habit had struck again. He didn't have a clue what Emi's teacher was called. "So did you do anything good today?" Izaya pulled Emi onto his lap where she sat content.

"I learnt how to make a crane. It's in my bag." Which was in the car. "I made mama a red one and dada a blue one. Can you make origami?" Shizuo shook his head. Delicate things wasn't his thing mainly because of his strength.

"I can, have you learnt to make a rose yet?" The two of them went into detail about things he didn't understand. Or maybe he did and he just had his mind on other things. The door opened a small thin woman with shoulder length dark hair and small breasts stepped out. "Ah. Fuse-san." How had he not remembered that?

The teacher's dark eyes roamed over them. "You are early, my next appointment isn't here yet though. Come on in." Shizuo took a deep breath clenching and in clenching his fists.

"Shizu-chan, coming?" Nodding his head in determination, the blond stood walking into the classroom. Not much had changed since his childhood. The thick wooden desk sat in front of a black board that had a green tint to it. In front of the desk was rows of smaller desks stuck together. Along the side was windows with a clear view into the playground. Along the back were cubby holes that were empty for now. Beside the door was a chart with all the students names and pictures. Around the rest of the room were drawings and the latest thing his daughter had done-origami shapes.

"Please take a seat." Shizuo took a seat in one of the three seats in front of the teacher's desk. The door closed the teacher making her way back to the desk stiletto heels clacking ominously. "It's good to finally meet you. I am your daughter's teacher Fuse Leiko. May I ask which of you is her biological father?" That was pretty much when he knew the meeting would be hell.

"Orihara Izaya, I'm her father." Shizuo clenched his fists in his pants counting to three over and over trying to keep his cool.

"I see and this would be a family friend?" Stupid woman.

"Orihara Shizuo." The blond grit out. The woman narrowed her eyes slightly before glossing over him completely.

"Orihara-san, your daughter is doing well in classes, she has no problem getting along with the other children. Her ability to absorb is remarkable. I only have to show her once and she understands. Currently she is the top of the class."

Shizuo smiled despite his headache. Emi was smart and popular just like her father...well maybe not the last part. Izaya was popular or more like infamous for very different reasons. Still his daughter wasn't ending up like him.

"Of course she is. Well done sweetie. Has there been any problems?" Shizuo could feel the temperature drop in the room, a cold chill running down his spine.

The teacher-he forgot her name- gave a small cough. "Academically there are no problems. There is though the small issue of..." Shizuo could feel her gaze on him before she looked back at Izaya. "May I ask what happened to her mother?" Emi looked horrified, quickly climbing into his lap.

"Oh? What do you mean by that?" His lover asked with a dangerous smile. "Emi's mother is Shizu-chan."

"I understand that the two of you are in a type of relationship. However your daughter should at least know who her real mother is. Think of how the rest of the children will see their classmate when they find out she was raised by two men." Shizuo clenched his fist tighter afraid that if he touched his daughter he would hurt her in his barely contained rage. He could feel his nails bite into his skin, feel the warm wetness seeping under his clenched fingers.

"Mm is that so? Did the principal by chance have a word with you when you were given your student list?"

"I don't see that's any of you-" Izaya was still smiling as he interrupted.

"If you had you would know some very basic information. Fuze Leiko no Leiko-chan. Tell me how did you handle university?"

"I don't-"

"Ah ah. I haven't finished yet, how rude of you to interrupt. Don't you think, Shizu-chan?"

"Izaya what are you doing?" The blond hissed. He had held back and his lover was about to ruin everything.

"You see I don't think you're very smart. Because if you were you wouldn't be so narrow minded. You don't know a thing about us and yet I know everything about you." Izaya sat back calmly as if he was simply reading a menu in a restaurant.

"Fle-"

"Leiko-chan. Twenty eight years old, barely passed university with an average grade. Total of seven boyfriends to date. The latest one you found cheating with another man inciting your homophobia."

"Wha-" Shizuo could see pure shock slipping from her face, morphing into undisguised disgust and confusion.

"Leiko-chan, You are my daughter's teacher. Did you really think I wouldn't do a background check on you? Now I want you to be a good girl and try to listen and comprehend what I am trying to tell you. Do you understand?"

"..."

"Leiko-chaaaan."

"...Orihara-san, I don't see-"

"You are quite the blind one, aren't you?" It was too late to stop the god complexed flea when he was pissed off and the stupid woman had truly pissed him off. "Now tell me and this is really important. Have you ever heard of the word intersex?"

"...yes."

"Oh. So you do know. Then why didn't that occur to you when Emi and I confirmed who was her mother?"

"I-I- it's not something that I-"

"Didn't think of? Hm I wonder why? Well now you know. If you had then this would have been so much easier. Still, I don't think I want you as my child's teacher any more. You do know it's the parents that decide what happens to the school?"

"I-Izaya enough. You've said what you have to say." Emi was cowering against his chest. It was probably the first time that she had seen Izaya like that. "You're scaring Emi." That made Izaya pause in his one sided tirade.

"...I guess we can leave it there. You have one more chance Leiko-chan, don't mess it up." The chair scraped back as his lover vacated his seat walking to the door with a skip in his step. Shizuo quickly followed after leaving the terrified teacher alone in the room.

"M-mama." Emi clung to him her small frame trembling. Shizuo glared at his lover ignoring the other families as he walked past. "Fuze-sensei was crying."

"I know. I'll sort it out. Don't worry, okay?" It didn't soothe his daughter one bit. "I'll make sure everything is okay." Though how he was going to do that he had no idea.

x-x-x

Shizuo closed the door snatching Izaya's wrist before he could climb into the car. "What the hell did you just do?" He growled leaning against the window so Emi couldn't see them. The last thing she needed to see was them arguing.

"I was putting Leiko-chan in her place."

"You threatened our daughter's teacher. How is that okay?" Shizuo winced as his hand was taken and his fingers opened showing his blood stained palm.

"And how is this okay, Shizu-chan?" Izaya smoothed his thumb over each crescent cut. A knock on the window sounded behind him. Turning around he could see Emi staring out at them a worried look on her face. Releasing his lover's wrist, the blond snatched back his own. They would have to continue this at home.

Opening the rear door, Shizuo sat next to his daughter. "Mama, did you get hurt?" Emi lifted her bag onto her lap rummaging through. "Here you go." The blond smiled taking the bright pink adhesive bandage with bunny rabbits on.

"These are yours, in case you hurt yourself." Even so he held his hand out letting her put it on. "Thank you, sweetie. Let's go home now." Securing his seat belt Shizuo wrapped his arms around her, smoothing his daughter's hair.

x-x-x

The ride home was tense though he doubted Izaya could feel it. Emi hadn't once let go of him. His daughter practically ran to her bedroom closing the door. "What's wrong with Emi?" His lover asked taking off his coat.

"You really need to ask that? Your little bully act terrified her." Shizuo took off his own coat torn between disgust for Izaya and concern for his little girl.

"Come on, Shizu-chan. It wasn't that bad. I was-"

"No. Don't you dare say it. You are not using me as an excuse for your little power rush." Walking away from Izaya, Shizuo grimaced seeing his hand. Instead of going straight to his daughter's room, he first headed to the bathroom to wash his hands.

Once he was done the blond took a deep breath knocking gently on the door. "Emi, sweetie. Can I come in?" Hearing a small yes from behind the door, Shizuo pushed down the handle opening the door. His daughter was hiding under the blankets clearly scared.

Closing the door behind him, the blond slowly walked towards the bed taking a seat. Holding out his splayed palm he stared at the four crescent marks. "I had to take the plaster off. Do you have any more?" The covers twitched.

"Yes." Emi poked out from under the covers. "Mama, I-I'm scared of dada." Shizuo nodded watching as she opened her school bag. She was still young, still believed in Santa Claus and monsters under the bed. To children everything was bigger than them. In his daughter's eyes Izaya was the monster.

"I know you are. But there's no need to be, that wasn't directed at you." Wide eyes stared up at him. "Your father would never do anything to hurt you."

"Which one do you want?" Shizuo took the box of plasters. "I like the bunny ones. I know dada wouldn't hurt me. He made sensei cry because sensei said bad things. Was dada protecting you, mama?"

The blond sighed peeling off the back of the plaster. "He thinks he is. Listen, Emi. I know Izaya looks scary to you right now and maybe you'll find me the same. Everyone at some point loses their temper and that makes them look scary."

"Really?" Emi dropped the bag climbing into his lap where she held blue and red shaped pieces of paper. Shizuo took the origami crane.

"Really. Before you I used to be angry all the time." Shizuo opened his mouth wide showing his teeth, his eyes wide. "Rawr! See scary." Emi giggled squeezing his nose.

"That's funny mama, not scary. I can do it too. Rawr!" Shizuo smiled ruffling her hair with his uninjured hand.

"You will never look scary. Now why don't you say goodnight to your father and brush your teeth? I'll make pancakes for breakfast tomorrow."

"Mama, are you trying to bribe me?" Of course she would know what that meant.

"So you don't want pancakes?" Shizuo smiled standing up. "I have to get ready for work so your father is going to put you to bed." Placing a kiss on her forehead, the blond stood and left the room. "Flea, get up here!"

x-x-x

Keeping an eye on his time, Shizuo nursed his mug of hot chocolate waiting for his lover to come back down. All his hard work had been ruined. Hearing footsteps on the stairs the blond looked back over his shoulder. "Is Emi asleep?"

"Yes, she's asleep." Izaya responded playing with the paper cranes. "I scared her." Shizuo said nothing dropping back against the sofa.

"Yeah, you did. Aren't you the master of control?" Shizuo growled. The raven sighed laying stretched out on the sofa, slim legs across his lap.

"I am." Izaya simply said. "Though I admit the error of doing it with Emi present."

"That's the only thing you regret? You may have just ruined our daughter's school life."

"Leiko-chan hurt you, protozoan." Shizuo sighed leaning back pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Your point? It's just words flea. She was misunderstood, I'm used to it. The difference is that I held my temper back. I endure it. If you've ruined Emi's school life..."

The smile on Izaya's face dropped. "Shizu-chan, I was protecting you." Shizuo shook his head. Sure his lover meant well bit that's not how it had looked.

"I'm different. I get it, I've had to deal with it my entire life. It hurts when I get called Emi's father or when Celty gets mistaken as her mother. It hurts when I walk the streets and hear the whispers. It hurts that I can't cope with going into a supermarket and order everything online. You know people better than I do..." Shizuo took a deep breath before carrying on.

"They are curious about everything, judgemental on what they don't understand or what they think they do. If I snapped every time I felt someone was staring at me I'd be in prison right now. Do you know why Anri is always collecting the glasses and cleaning the tables? Because I can't. I'm happy there because that bar is what keeps me separated from everyone."

"Shizu-"

"Let me finish. I'm used to it, there's nothing I can do but try and brush it off. I might have parts of a woman but you seem to forget that I am a fully grown man and I don't need protecting. I'm no damsel in distress and you are no knight in shining armour. The only thing you did was humiliate our child's teacher." Draining his hot chocolate he pushed Izaya away getting up. "I have to go to work. See you tomorrow." Before the flea could say anything he was already making a quick exit.

x-x-x

Shizuo sat at one of the tables slamming his head into the hard wood. He could remember the look on the flea's face when he left. Damn it his heart was shook up with yet another emotional burst. As usual it left him feeling drained and if he hadn't gotten slightly stronger- tearful.

The only ones in Artic at the moment was Shiki and Akabayashi, the two of them were in the office and had been since he had arrived early. Now alone he could feel that negative edge bleed into his mind. "Damn it." It was the worst he had felt in a long time.

"Hanejima-no-neechan, something wrong?" Looking up he watched the cane twirl before it was planted firmly on the ground. His gaze was drawn to Akabayashi's bulging pocket.

"...can I have a cigarette?" The blond asked leaving the candy in his pocket. The small box was flicked open and held out. Reaching out he slid one of the cancer sticks from the packet placing it between his lips. "Thanks." Closing his eyes he went back to laying his top half on the table.

"Do you maybe want a light?"

"Oh yeah. Thanks." Scraping the chair back the blond stepped out into the cold night air. His nose twitched at the choking scent. "Ugh." Shizuo coughed glaring at the cigarette.

"Something wrong there, Orihara-san?"

"I forgot how long it took me to get used to the taste." Shizuo stopped looking back at his boss. "Shiki-san... No, it's nothing I can't handle." The cigarette remained pinched between two fingers. The taste it left in his mouth was worse than he remembered. Maybe it was because it wasn't the same brand he had been used to or maybe his body had been cleansed of the damn things.

"I only ask that you don't let your problems affect your work. If you need time off you only need to ask. Now about what you asked me on the phone... Tell her to come into my office and we'll talk." Shizuo thanked him but his boss had already vanished. Attempting to take another puff of the cigarette, the blond scrunched his face up at the after taste.

With a sigh he let the small light burn watching as the stick was wasted. His old habit would stay that way. Now that his lungs were clear he could see what a mistake he had made back then and the one he wouldn't be making now. A thick clump of ash fell from the cigarette butt blown away by the wind. Shizuo stubbed out the small bit that was left and headed back inside.

x-x-x

Whilst he worked behind the bar he could take his mind off of Izaya. Ah. Nope. There he was again thinking of the god complexed flea. Being a weekday the bar was more manageable, though Vorona was working again. Anri was cleaning the tables, Shiki had left Artic taking with him two built like gorilla bodyguards.

That meant the more laid back of the two was in charge. Music pounded getting louder. His brow raised in question seeing smoke flood the stairs. Glancing at Anri he could see her relaxed expression. Looking past her at the door he could see Cel- no Mika looking unsure of herself as she walked quietly towards the bar. Shizuo caught her eye but so did someone else.

He knew the moment the young woman stopped and took a step back. Instead of taking the usual seat at the bar, she took the one in the far corner where he had been...not sulking. Shizuo sighed leaning against the bar. Unless a fight broke out he wasn't leaving his post. Mika might as well of been half way across the city.

Reaching behind him the blond grabbed a bottle keeping his eyes on the woman. She didn't look upset, that was good. "Shizuo-sempai, I enquire to know the interest in the female at the table." Shizuo snapped his gaze back sharply.

"Her name is Mika, she's a regular who always sits at the bar. She's always looking down so I-" Shizuo cut himself off attending to another customer. Vorona smiled holding up her hand.

"Situation confirmed. There is no need to continue. Observation shows Shizuo-sempai takes obsessive responsibility for those in your care." Shizuo caught the glass stopping it from sliding off of the edge.

"No I-" steady icy blue orbs met his own. When Vorona was right she was right. There was no point in arguing. "...didn't realise." He muttered distracted.

"Do you wish to speak to the female?" The blonde asked body pressed up against the bar ready to jump over and more than likely get them both in trouble.

"...no." Now that he thought about it what she was saying was true. With Izaya and Emi it was because they were family. Celty and her children she cared about because they were her friend and god children. He would admit that maybe he had gotten involved with Kururi's problem, going as far as having her work with him. Then there was Mika and whoever else in the bar needed his help. "Damn it."

Shiki's words came back crystal clear in his mind. The more he gained the more he had to lose. He had problems trusting anyone but when he did...

"Hey man, can I get my drink or what?" Shizuo glanced at the pubescent brat a soft growl purring in his throat. Clenching a gloved hand the blond reached out with a warning smile.

"Got any I.D?" Well if he couldn't smoke and the sweets did nothing, he could always rely on Artic's patrons to piss him off. It looked like he would get some stress relieve after all, even if "I really hate violence."

"Uh, sorry man. I think I got the wrong place." Shizuo dropped the brat before he wet himself, which was probably a minute after he ran from the bar as if he had finally discovered that his parents were lying and the monster under the bed did exist. If they weren't old enough to read the blatant sign then that was his problem and he or Vorona would be the solution.

"I'm getting too old for this shit." Thirty years old and still collaring brats. Maybe if they had a bouncer outside then... Well it couldn't be him, so maybe instead he could ask Shiki for one of the gorilla guards to do it. The problem was that his boss didn't want them outside too long. It hadn't gone unnoticed that the usual guard on the right had a thick looking bulge wrapped around his arm. Built like gorillas but still human, still vulnerable. The same as him, a monster freak but still human.

"Shizuo-sempai." Vorona strode up to him curling one of his bangs around her finger. "If a break is required...we can secure the situation... How do you say it? We will hold the fort. What I mean-"

"I know. I'm a nuisance. If you're all right by yourself..." The blonde beauty scoffed flicking her hair back. "Right. I'll go home then. See you tomorrow night." Brushing himself down the blond ducked into the back room to grab his coat.

x-x-x

Shizuo trudged up the path fishing the keys from his pocket. Shiki would probably dock his pay for his premature exit. If it was just the once then it would be fine but it wasn't. His boss had put up with all of his problems. The blond cursed as the keys jingled slipping from his hand and hitting the ground. "Fuck." He growled in frustration crouching down to fumble blindly for his keys. He could feel small stones digging into his palm. Again he found himself thanking Shiki for the gloves.

Scooping them up the blond scrambled back up shoving the key into the lock. Twisting the piece of metal gently the door creaked open. Well that was the first thing he needed to do tomorrow. Dropping the keys into the bowl, Shizuo let his shoulders droop coat sliding from his arms. All of the lights were out. That was a good sign. It meant his daughter was still asleep and Izaya would be either in the bedroom or his office.

Peeling off his glove he let it drop leaving a trail in his wake. Finding the arm of the chair Shizuo flopped down embracing the soft plumpness underneath him. Well that's what he should have felt. "Ouch." The last time he checked sofas didn't talk or make pained noises which meant he had found Izaya. "You're home early. Shizu-chan?" The blond blinked making a non committal sound. "Everything okay?"

"Mm. I'm going to bed." Pushing down on the sofa earned him a small grunt his palm resting on what he guessed was his lover's leg...or not. He could feel something soft becoming rigid underneath his touch. Removing his hand the blond heard something hit the floor. "Wha-"

"Be careful. I was working." The flea groaned in the darkness. Shizuo froze keeping perfectly still. Why hadn't he thought about turning he light on?

"In the dark?" The blond muttered trying to make out his surroundings other than Izaya's hand snaking around his waist.

"I heard you fumbling outside. I thought I'd surprise you." Shizuo flinched caught off guard as the raven kissed his cheek.

"Is that what you call it? What fell?"

"My laptop. Don't worry about it, I was due a new one." Izaya soothed. Shizuo groaned knowing he was sprawled across the sofa in his lover's lap and unable to move in fear of breaking anything else.

"Turn on the light so I can get up." The grip around his waist tightened giving him his answer. "Flea, I want to go to bed."

"You should never go to bed on an argument, Shizu-chan."

"This isn't an argument. If I break-" his speech was stolen away, head tilted back soft lips pressing against his temple.

"What you said earlier..." Shizuo flinched knowing it was way too soon to be having this certain conversation. "I might have gone too far. I knew that you were still having issues with who you are, just not that bad. When did you start bottling everything up again, Shizu-chan?"

"Izaya, I'm not doing this now."

"It's pitch black, I can't see you right now. Whatever you have to say, say it."

"It's really uncomfortable. I keep sliding. At least let go so I can get up." The arms around him moved lower pulling him until he slid down hitting his head on what could only the the arm of the sofa.

"Kick your legs up and you'll be lying straight." Doing as he was told something occurred to him.

"So I'd be on your lap? This is a bit-"

"Shh. Lap pillows are good. I can play with your hair. You smell of smoke. Have you started again?"

Shizuo closed his eyes stopping his futile attempt to pick out his lover in the darkness. "I tried. It's disgusting. Can you think of something a little more innocent?" He chided feeling something nudge against the back of his head.

"I can't help that. It's my natural reaction to you. Smoking is a horrible habit. I thought we were perfect, Shizu-chan. I thought I knew everything about you. I guess I became complacent once I had everything I wanted. You, Emi, us. I'm sorry. I'll be a better husband."

Shizuo grimaced at the title reaching up to feel for his lover's cheek. It wasn't only Izaya's fault. Relationships and especially marriages only worked if both were committed. "Uh, Shizu-chan. That's my nose."

"Sorry. Izaya, you knew everything about me, it was fine then. My problems have always been there skulking in the corner of my mind. Lately it's just been getting on top of me. I can handle it. No need to threaten anyone else."

"Since Emi started school?" The blond could feel his face heat up glad that his lover couldn't see his face. A soft sigh sounded above him. "I should have known. You know I wasn't doing this because I think of you as a girl. Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan. It was the only way I knew."

"...I know. I should have been more honest. Guess we're both to blame. Vorona said that I get too involved in my friends' problems." Izaya chuckled lightly stroking his cheek.

"Do you want a list? Did Shiki give you an answer?"

"Tell her to come in and we'll talk. Now I just have to let Kyouko know." The flea's hand paused. "Kururi isn't a child any more, it should be okay?"

"No idea. This is my mother we're talking about. I made something for you. It shou-"

"Raaawr!" A loud voice rang through the darkness. Shizuo jumped glad that he was already laying down. Izaya screamed hugging him awkwardly. "Hehe. Now I'm the monster." Came the pleased sweet voice.

The blond blinked smirking at his lover's reaction. Slowly sitting he heard rustling as the raven stood to get the lights. Bright light flooded the room the first thing he could see was his little girl peeking over the back of the sofa. "Boo." Shizuo smiled tapping her nose with his pinky.

"Emi. What are you doing out of bed? It's way past your bed time. You have school tomorrow. Don't you want to get your beauty sleep?" Shizuo watched the scene play out, Izaya with his hand on his hip face red trying to look stern.

"Mama when I grow up will I look like you and dada?" Shizuo nodded his gaze shifting to the fallen laptop laying on the floor. "Then I doesn't need beauty sleep."

"Firstly it's don't. Secondly you will do as you are told. Now come on back to bed." Sitting up now that he could see properly, the blond picked up the tabbed book on the table. It was his driver's theory book. Flicking through he could see helpful notes on brightly coloured bits of paper. It was all his lover's handwriting.

"Nooooooooooo! I don't want to." Emi was held in Izaya's arms kicking out wildly. "Can't I stay with you and mama?" Shizuo shrugged replacing the book on the table. Walking around the sofa he plucked the little girl from the raven's arms carrying her into the bedroom.

"Another nightmare?" He knew she wasn't afraid of the dark and this was the first time she had woken up this late or at least he didn't think so. A small nod was his answer, Emi clinging to his neck. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I can't remember it."

"Shizu-chan..." Glancing back he caught his lover's crimson gaze.

"Emi, go jump in the bed. I'll be there in a minute." Setting her down innocent crimson looked between him and Izaya before his little girl ran into the bedroom. "Yeah?" The blond spoke quietly facing his lover.

"Now this just feels awkward." Izaya grinned sheepishly.

"You mean ambushing me in the dark wasn't?"

"When you say it like that it sounds bad. Shizu-chan, I know you want to be independent and try to fix everything yourself. You know you can depend on me for anything. I've made some notes and things to help you out with your driving. If you feel it will help then go for it." Shizuo caught Izaya blushing as he picked up the fallen laptop.

"...Izaya."

"Hm?"

"Thank you. I'm going to bed." Running a hand through his head the blond took his pyjamas to the bathroom to get changed. Leaning against the sink he took a deep breath trying to calm himself. Caught off guard again. Already he found himself forgiving the sly raven.

A knock on the door further disturbed him. "Shizu-chan?" There stood his lover hovering in the doorway. Taking a step to the right the blond grabbed his toothbrush. Izaya gave him a small smile doing the same.

"Why are you grinning? It's creepy."

"No reason. Do you want a lift to the school tomorrow? I could pick Celty up as well." Shizuo paused in his brushing.

"No it's fine. Go to work like normal."

"Are you sure?" The blond have him a look. "Okay. I know you and Celty want to go to that little bakery." Izaya muttered. Coffee orbs widened in shock. "Do you think you could use normal toothpaste?"

"This is normal." Shizuo argued reaching for the tube.

"It's strawberry. Toothpaste is mint." The raven grimaced. "Where do you even find these?" Rinsing out his mouth the blond turned away unbuttoning his shirt. "Ooh giving me a strip tease?" Flipping Izaya the finger he quickly changed vacating the bathroom.

A smile touched his lips seeing Emi fast asleep splayed over the bed in a star shape. Luckily for him she was mostly on Izaya's side. Shizuo shrugged climbing into his side of the bed waiting for his lover to return. The flea was smiling as he skipped into the room face dropping as he caught sight of where he wouldn't be sleeping.

"She's asleep isn't she?" Shizuo nodded stifling a yawn. "Emi, you can't sleep there. That's my spot." Izaya whined stepping close to the bed. Shizuo shrugged his shoulders turning away from them. "Sweetie, wake up. Shizu-chan, a little help here?" Closing his eyes he let himself relax drifting into dream land.

**Next:- Partially resolved**


	9. Partially resolved

**Partially resolved**

_A/N:- Thanks for the reviews and onto the next chapter. Next one will be on valentines day and yep its soppy. Enjoy. _

Shizuo snapped awake a small fist slamming into his nose again. Shaking his head the blond quietly slipped out of the bed before he could be hit again. The covers were askew barely staying on the bed. The led numbers showed that it was five in the morning. Leaving the restless sleeper alone, the blond went in search for his lover wondering where he had slept last night. There was a folded blanket on the end of the sofa but no sign of Izaya. On the table was the laptop and the driver's book.

Poking his head around the kitchen he couldn't see any sign of the flea. The bathroom door was open meaning it was empty. Taking the stairs he checked Emi's room and the bathroom seeing they were all clear. That left the office. The door was slightly ajar. Pushing the door open Shizuo leaned against the door frame watching as his lover typed completely focused.

It gave him time to look around the room. The window was still clear, the wallpaper a mix of white, red, black and gold to match the Valkyrie canvas that hung below the window. It was the only place not covered in computer towers or filing cabinets. He didn't know what was in them but maybe if he was lucky it would be bank statements and receipts from when Izaya brought the ring.

Which gave him another question he had been thinking about. When had Izaya brought the ring? How far had he planned ahead. "You're up early." Izaya stopped what he was doing looking up.

"Good morning, Shizu-chan. Couldn't sleep, the sofa isn't very comfortable. Can we ground her? I'm joking. What are you doing up so early?" Walking further into the room the blond stretched covering a yawn.

"I was getting beaten up." Shizuo sighed.

Izaya laughed. "Our little restless princess strikes again. I wonder where she gets that from."

"Well it's not from me. Probably you and your cold feet. Do you want a coffee?"

"I do not have cold feet. Yes thanks." Shizuo shrugged leaving the room. He was awake now so he might as well get an early start. Besides he was hungry and there were some tempting treats in the fridge.

x-x-x

"Mm, thanks." Izaya took the mug. Shizuo paused gaze narrowing on his lover's face.

"Are you actually wearing your glasses?"

"Hm? Yeah. It's not like I need them." The blond stared at the thin black frames.

"So they're a fashion statement?" Placing his hot chocolate on the desk, Shizuo leaned over snatching them away sliding them onto his nose. "You don't need these? I can't see anything through these. For someone so sharp, you're blind."

The flea scowled leaning closer. "Maybe you're right. I can't see anything like this. Can you come closer?" Shizuo slowly lifted the glasses up giving Izaya a doubtful look. "Please, Shizu-chan?" Damn.

With a sigh the blond moved closer skirting around the desk. "That better?"

"A bit closer you still look fuzzy. Maybe I should make another appointment." His lover muttered under his breath. Now he was worried.

"Wait. Your eye sight is really that bad?" Moving right next to Izaya he waved his hand in front of the raven's face. A second too late he caught that familiar smirk. Caught off guard the blond was pulled into Izaya's lap.

"No. It's 20/20. It's dangerous to be so gullible protozoan." Shizuo took off the glasses handing them back. He didn't see what was so bad about straddling his lover's lap. "You're too trusting." The blond flinched hearing similar words from what Vorona had said.

Slim arms wrapped around his waist pulling him closer his knees resting on the expensive leather hands on the top of the chair. "My offer from last night is still open."

"I can handle my own problems."

"I know. Doesn't hurt to ask. So what should we do now? Emi is asleep." One hand dropped from his waist. Suspiciously he followed its movements watching as Izaya reached under the chair. The thing jolted sliding lower, the back tilting slightly.

"Since I have extra time..." He could see Izaya's face light up. "I'm going to take a bath."

"Seriously?" His lover groaned rocking forward underneath him. "Unpredictable as always. It's just you and me. The door has a lock."

"I said not when Emi is the house. Wait until Sunday." Carefully he got down from the chair.

"That's ages away. What's the chances of her running in? It will be fine."

Shizuo scoffed shaking his head. "You mean like she snuck up on us last night whilst you were trying to seduce me?" Taking another step back the mug was held in his hands and he was far enough away from his sexually frustrated lover.

The raven gasped in shock. "I wasn't trying to seduce you. I was comforting."

"That's the same thing to you." Shizuo sighed leaning against one of the cabinets.

"No it's not." Izaya argued back.

"I'm not that stupid, flea. Any time anything happens it goes in your favour and we end up in bed together."

"Technically we're in bed together every night. I believe the term you're looking for is sex." Izaya pointed out with a grin. "Come on. Once a week isn't enough."

"One day a week and almost every time you go overboard. It's not my fault your libido hasn't diminished."

"It's your fault that I'm not satisfied. Are you that worried about Emi walking in on us doing it?" Shizuo shuddered putting his mug down.

"Emi is too curious. Besides me and Kasuka accidentally walked in on our parents when we were kids." The very memory made him shudder. Izaya leaned forward eyes gleaming.

"I didn't know that. I walked in on mine when I was a child too."

Shizuo sighed. "Oh. Did it mentally scar you too?"

"It wasn't an accident. My room was next to theirs and I could hear perfectly through the walls. I thought I'd see what they were doing."

"You are one creepy bastard." The blond muttered. Though a smile was brought to his lips at the thought of what Kyouko would have done to a young Izaya.

"Language there protozoan. Anyway you were the one that married this creepy bastard, though technically my parents were married when I was conceived."

"Smart ass." Was his retort.

"Why thank you, I love it when you compliment my body. You should know though, it's the brain that is smart." Shizuo deflated knowing Izaya was in one of his childish moods.

"Mama!" He heard her voice before seeing her. Emi rushed into the room slamming into his leg and refusing to let go. "Can I go to a sleepover with Aiko?"

"Yes!" Shizuo glared at Izaya who was throwing his hands up in the air whilst the chair spun around and around. The raven's thoughts were transparent.

"Where has this come from? Did Aiko say something yesterday?"

"No. Celty sent mama a message." The chair stopped spinning, Izaya placing a hand over his mouth.

"Ooh. You stole your mummy's phone. Naughty girl." Emi shook her head holding it out.

"It was on the table. It woke me up." Shizuo raised an eyebrow knowing that he had put his phone on silent. Taking the phone he read the message.

_Does Emi want to sleepover tonight? _

"It's a school night."

"Please?"

"I'll think about it. What do you want for breakfast?" His daughter pouted folding her arms. "Pancakes? Cereal?" He didn't get an answer, Emi running around the desk.

"Dada, can I go?" Shizuo folded his arms raising a brow. He was still in the damn room. Izaya caught his look chuckling sheepishly.

"I think you should wait until your mummy has made his decision."

"But you said to ask you if mama says no."

"Does he now? Then your father can decide and you can make her breakfast." Shizuo took his mug keeping a look of indifference on his face.

"Shizu-chan!" He was already gone, vanishing into the bathroom ignoring Izaya's voice as he called after him repeatedly knocking on the door. If his lover thought he was pissed off then he would be left alone to enjoy a hot soak. Besides it was a good lesson letting the raven think he was angry, maybe then he would think twice before letting their daughter get her own way.

x-x-x

What met him when he emerged from the bathroom in a short shirt and dark jeans was a very apologetic looking flea and a messy breakfast. "Sorry mama." Emi stood beside the plate head bowed clutching her hands together. "I made you breakfast."

"Thank you, sweetie." Sweeping her from her feet Shizuo held her in his arms and placed a soft kiss against her forehead. "Do you really want to stay over?" Emi nodded enthusiastically. He knew what Celty was thinking. Kenta was up all night crying. If Emi saw what it was like then maybe the subject of a little brother or sister wouldn't pop up. As it was he was hoping she would forget about the idea of a pet. "Okay. You can. Now go and get your clothes."

Small arms wrapped around his neck squeezing tightly. "Thank you. I love you mama." Setting her down she was off up the stairs. Shizuo sat down on the sofa not yet looking at his lover. Unable to keep it up any longer the blond smiled picking up the plate with his chocolate covered hot cakes.

"...you weren't really angry, were you?" Izaya asked shifting closer.

"Nope. I knew she went to you every time. What do you think she does when you say no?" Shizuo muttered taking a bite.

"She asks you? Wait you mean she plays us off against each other?"

"Yeah. Remind you of anyone?"

"Clever girl." The blond groaned gently whacking the raven's arm. "Ouch. That hurts." His lover whined rubbing at his shoulder. "Kiss it better." He didn't know why he bothered worrying. "So we have the house all to ourselves tonight..."

"I have work." Shizuo shot down Izaya's hopes for a night of passion. His lover though wouldn't be dissuaded taking another route to get what he wanted. Curiosity peaked the blond glanced at the phone in the raven's sly hand. Shiki. That's the name that flashed on the caller ID.

"Shiki-san, good morning...yes I have the information you requested...same as usual?" Shizuo slid further away feeling the intensity of Izaya's gaze. "Actually I want something other than payment this time. Could you give Shizu-chan the night off?"

Glaring at his crafty lover, Shizuo munched bitterly on his hot cakes glaring at the phone. "That's acceptable. Until next time, Shiki-san." The call ended the raven smirking at him. "Now we have the night all to ourselves. I have to get to work." His lover was smiling from ear to ear kissing his cheek before vaulting over the back of the sofa with a skip in his step as he practically danced to the front door.

x-x-x

"Mama! Can you do my hair?" Emi ran up to him holding her white and pink hairbrush. "I want it pretty today." Shizuo shifted back on the sofa so she could sit in front of his legs.

"Your hair is always pretty. Do you want plaits?" Shizuo asked trying to remember girls' hairstyles he had seen.

"No. I want it like waves." His daughter looked up at him expectantly. Shizuo ran her hair though his fingers.

"I need lots of small bands." He had an idea of how to do it but it wouldn't last long. "Can you go and get them?" Putting the brush on the table the blond watched his daughter zip up the stairs to grab the hair bands.

Moments later she was back clutching a large plastic pot where all of her hair accessories were kept. "Here mama." With Emi sitting by his legs, Shizuo grabbed the brush passing it through her long hair. When he was done he began separating thick chunks smoothing them out to braid. "Mama, I didn't want braids."

"This is the quickest way. Hold still." Being as gentle as possible he had his fingers full trying to remember the pattern. "Cross that one. Cross that one. Now this one." Step by step he took his time trying to get it right. "Pass me a band."

x-x-x

The result was a head full of mousy brown slightly wavy hair with a small braid put together from the front strands. Emi seemed to like it twirling around like a princess in her cream dress and slightly lighter tights.

Checking his phone he knew it was time to leave. "Go and put your shoes on." His daughter was still spinning. Probably another habit inherited from Izaya. "Emi. It's time to go."

Shizuo grabbed his coat throwing it on and grabbing the red school bag. His daughter was sitting by the door pulling on her shoes. Taking his coat from the hook the blond held it out. "Thanks mama."

x-x-x

Shizuo blinked caught in a hug. Standing there awkwardly he waited until she released him quickly typing. _Are you okay? What happened yesterday? _Celty was panicking for him worry clouding her eyes.

"I'll tell you later." He was already dreading reaching the school. What had happened after they had left he had no idea. Shizuo sighed trying to keep it from his thoughts. That though was easier planned than done. The other parents would know what had happened and their children would turn against his daughter. The teacher might have told the principal and Emi would be expelled.

A hand rested on his shoulder squeezing gently. _It will be okay. Here. _Shizuo took the offered chocolate bar slipping it into his pocket for later. Celty was comforting him with no idea what Izaya had done. In front of them the two girls were holding hands full of smiles. He hoped their smiles never faded.

x-x-x

Shizuo stood nervously at the gate trying to hide his feelings. There was no sign of any teachers or angry parents. "Mama, I'm going now." Emi held her hands up wanting a hug.

"Emi. If anything happens, I want you to tell me, okay?"

"Yes mama. I won't say anything about dada being scary." Taking a step back he stood with Celty watching Emi rush off school bag bouncing behind her fingers crossed that their wouldn't be any trouble.

x-x-x

_Ouch. He didn't hold back. _Shizuo nodded slumping in his seat nursing his hot chocolate. Today he had ordered a vanilla danish with not much of an appetite.

"No. He didn't." The blond agreed slowly stirring his drink. "I'm worried about what this means for Emi. The flea went too far."

_But he did it for you? _Celty typed a small smile on her lips.

"So he says. Thanks for offering to take Emi for the night."

His best friend smiled. _It's actually you doing me a favour. Aiko has become attention seeking lately. With Shinra and Aiko clinging to me, I'm struggling to take care of Kenta._

"Emi couldn't be happier." Shizuo sighed. "Izaya too." He added wondering how he was going to get out of tonight. It wasn't like he wanted to disappoint the flea... "It feels like we were closer before we got married." Maybe it was just him, now that he had everything he wanted it felt like the spark had gone.

Celty tilted her head before picking up her phone again and typing. _It's not just you. Shinra and I have our problems. Did you know Izaya and Shinra confide in each other like we do?_

"I doubt that. It would be Shinra harping on about how much he loves you and Izaya would...No, I can't imagine it. Do they really?" He asked in confusion. Celty was smiling taking a bite of her mandarin cheesecake.

_Yeah. Aiko overheard them talking. Shinra is the only one Izaya considers a friend. _His friend blushed looking guilty. _I may have took a sneak peak at his phone. It was only for safety reasons in case he was doing anything dangerous. Ahdksjfi. _Shizuo took the phone away gently plucking it from her trembling fingers.

x-x-x

Nothing was perfect. Shizuo knew that even though he watched those around him strive to be. Every relationship had holes, each person had flaws. Fear, self hatred, insecurity. Small cracks that unless acknowledged would grow and splinter. Even if everything looked okay on the surface, every couple had their own problems. He wasn't the only one suffering, he wasn't the only one with issues. Glancing down at his finger the blond opened the door to his lover's office.

With only a few weeks until their first anniversary he needed to get his ring fixed. Shizuo went straight to the computer pressing the button. Izaya's trust was evident when the desktop screen popped up without a password prompt. Skimming his gaze over the folders his hand guided the mouse over to the file with his name. "The flea still writes these?" He murmured opening the word document.

_January 28th. My Shizu-chan's birthday. This year I thought we could finally celebrate it together. I'm glad I didn't go through with Shinra's idea to throw a surprise party. Shizu-chan wasn't ready to celebrate the anniversary of his birth. The good news is that he'll try next year. _

Shizuo leaned back against the chair cursing as he read over the typed words. The rest wasn't much. Basic updates on him and Emi, nothing on flea himself. Closing the document Shizuo skimmed the rest of the files. He was a little concerned that there were files for every one. Still the urge to see more of what the raven thought about him was too strong driving him to click another document.

_I'm not one for language but this time I fucked up. Rash and tactless, I admit I may have lost control. Shizu-chan was pretty mad so yeah I thought we would be heading for another dangerous argument. Seeing how scared Emi was...I regret it. I should have asked for the two of them to leave the room. Don't get me wrong one of my precious humans went too far and needed to be put in their place. _

Shizuo shook his head with a sigh closing the page without finishing. He knew the only thing Izaya felt bad about was his and Emi's reaction. Opening the next document his hand froze.

_Shizu-chan doesn't know yet. I haven't told him, I'm not even sure if he'll understand when I eventually tell him. Knowing the protozoan he'll take it badly and think it's his fault. I guess that's why I'm so hesitant on sharing the information with him. I've made sure she won't say anything either._

Shizuo blinked staring at the screen. That was the only thing that was written. Letting go of the mouse he slumped in the chair rereading what he had discovered. Izaya was keeping something from him and who was this woman mentioned? It was something he shouldn't have seen. Closing the computer down Shizuo left the room disheartened and full of growing suspicion. Pulling off the ring wrapper his wedding ring split in half falling to the floor.

x-x-x

Tossing the book to one side Shizuo looked at his phone seeing that an hour had passed. His broken ring was on the table still in pieces. Taking a deep breath the blond decided to confront the issue. Instead of calling Izaya's mobile, the blond called the office.

_Good morning. This is The Great Orihara Industry, Kamichika Rio speaking. How may I help? _Shizuo grit his teeth denying the small spark of jealousy bursting into flame inside him.

"Can I speak to Izaya?" He asked trying not think of the woman sitting at his old desk spending all day alone in a room with the flea.

_Can I ask who's calling? Orihara-san has instructed me not to pass any calls through._

"Tell him it's his lover." There was a long pause on the other end.

_Nakura, there's a man on the phone claiming to be your lover. _Who the hell was Nakura? _My lover? Oh, Shizu-chan. Why didn't he call my mobile? Rio-chan, you did remember to put the call on hold? _Shizuo shook his head hanging up. The woman sounded young and they sounded close.

Switching off his phone the blond returned to the office looking over the filing cabinets. Tugging the handle he met resistance. A bit harder and the drawer slid open though the lock was now broken. It was the newest one which meant the most recent documents would be kept in there.

Flicking through he found employee records, letters, bank statements, receipts and bills. Pulling out the pile Shizuo sifted through them. There was a receipt from the opticians, one for two tailored suits, one for all of the Christmas presents the flea had brought and a hospital bill dated a week ago.

Why had Izaya been in hospital and for how long? He hadn't noticed anything different. His lover had been home the same time everyday. Was this Izaya's secret? The worst ran through his mind. Dumping everything back in the blond slammed the drawer closed, the metal clang ringing in his ears. Maybe he had bitten off more than he could chew. The only thing his short investigation had rewarded him was more questions and a deeper worry that something was wrong with his lover.

x-x-x

Three o'clock and he was standing outside the school gate watching as groups of children walked past him going to their parents. Shizuo leaned against the thick stone pillar waiting for his daughter. When she came out she wasn't alone. A tap on the shoulder made him flinch. Shizuo relaxed immediately seeing that it was Celty. "Hey." Shrugging off the small rucksack he handed it over to his friend. "Emi's clothes for tomorrow." Turning back he saw that his daughter and the teacher had gotten closer.

"Shit." The blond cursed averting his gaze at the disapproving look one of the other parents gave him covering their child's ears.

"Mama." His daughter waved with a small smile on her face. Shizuo smiled warmly but his eyes were cold fixed on the woman that Izaya had threatened. She didn't look angry or happy. "Mama!" Emi ran into him giving him a hug.

"Orihara-san may I have a word?" Well that didn't sound good. For now he looked past the woman seeing Aiko rushing towards the gate.

"Emi, you'll be going with Celty today. I've already given her your change of clothes. Make sure you're a good girl, okay?" His daughter blinked looking at him and then the teacher. "See you after school tomorrow."

"Yes mama." Shizuo crouched down giving her a hug. Glancing up he could see Celty holding out her phone.

_Are you sure you'll be okay with her?_ Releasing his daughter the blond stood patting his friend on the shoulder.

"Yeah. Let me know if she causes any trouble." Celty and the two girls walked away from the school gate, Emi and Aiko already holding hands as they skipped together.

"Orihara-san?" Shizuo turned his attention back to the teacher. He couldn't remember what the woman's name was. "Could we talk in private?" With a small nod the blond followed after the woman heading away from the other parents and into the school.

This time he was without Izaya so everything should go a lot smoother than it had at parents evening. It wasn't long before he was standing outside the same classroom, the only difference was the absence of the chairs outside.

"I believe we may have got off on the wrong foot. I wanted to apologise for my insensitivity. It was unprofessional of me."

Shizuo shrugged. "You're not the first and you won't be the last. As long as you don't poison my daughter there's no problem. My lover was out of line with what he said. You are my daughter's teacher and the only thing that matters is her education."

"I understand Orihara-san. There won't be any more problems. Your...lover was right in what he said. Is he a police officer or something?" Shizuo smiled nervously.

"Or something." At least there hadn't been any damage. It looked like everything would be okay. One of the biggest problems in his life was fixed.

x-x-x

When he returned home empty handed, Izaya was already there in the kitchen. Shizuo sighed running a hand through his hair. He had been hoping that his lover wouldn't be home. It was cruel but the plan had been to make dinner and take a couple of sleeping pills. He was in no mood to unlock another secret harmful to his mental state. For now he would have faith in the man he married. "I'm back." He called loud enough for the raven to hear as he toed of his boots. Shrugging off his coat he heard a voice behind him.

"Shizu-chan. Welcome home. I thought I'd leave work early." Turning around slowly the blond covered his amusement seeing Izaya in an apron over his suit. "You let Emi sleep over then?"

"Yeah, she went with Celty. Are you sure it was okay to leave?"

"Like I keep saying, it's my company. I called you earlier. It went to voice mail. Did you turn your phone off?" Shizuo shrugged heading for the bedroom.

"The battery died." He simply responded. The flea looked at him with a narrow gaze. "I should put it on charge."

"Oh. Did you call into the office today? I had my mobile on me. Why didn't you call me on that?" Shizuo opened the bedroom door slightly leaving enough room for him to toss his phone on the bed without being seen.

"Hm? Oh yeah I did call. I wanted to let you know we would be on our own tonight. I think I spoke to your secretary. There was no background music so I thought she had cut me off. I would have called back but my phone went dead." His hands were deep in his pockets nails digging into his palm. Too late he remembered about the healing wound.

At least for now Izaya seemed satisfied with his answer. "Make sure you charge it. Dinner should be ready in ten minutes." Shizuo nodded in acknowledgement even though he didn't care. "Shizu-chan, everything okay?"

"Mm." Slipping into the bedroom the blond closed the door dropping back on the soft mattress. Reaching underneath him he pulled his phone out and placed it on the bedside table plugging the cable in to at least give the illusion his phone had really died.

"You know Shiki-san couldn't get hold of you either." Shizuo blinked realising that it hadn't been just Izaya he had cut off. "Kururi went to see him today." Switching his phone back on the blond waited for the front screen to pop up showing him what he had missed. A missed call from Shiki, two from Izaya, one from Kururi and a text message.

"Ah." Opening the message a smile touched his lips. "She got the job. I'll be in charge of training her up." Izaya nodded saying nothing for once. "I should give her a call." Before the flea could utter a word of objection Shizuo went through the missed calls calling everyone back. He thought his lover would get bored and leave the room however that wasn't the case.

The edge of the bed dipped slightly as the raven took a seat resting an arm on his thigh. "Its times like this I hate technology, as useful as it is, it distracts my precious humans and now you." Izaya grumbled. Shizuo held the phone away to reply when his screen flashed signalling another call. "Sorry Kururi, I have to go." Ending the current call and accepting the new one, Shizuo smiled his daughter's voice coming through loud and clear.

Noting the change in expression his lover perked up lazily dropping into his lap. "That's Emi, isn't it. I wanna talk to her." Shizuo held the phone firmly in his possession listening as his little girl went through what she was having for dinner. "Shizu-chaaan!" His lover whined. With a sigh the phone was put onto loud speaker where the two of them could talk to her all thoughts of anything else forgotten.

**Next:- Valentines day**


	10. Valentines day

**Valentines day**

_A/N:- Happy valentines day. Enjoy. _

_Dear diary, it's been a while. Tomorrow is Valentines day and the flea's favourite day of the year. But that's tomorrow so let's go back to the past few weeks. _

_Emi had her sleepover. It was just as we thought. It was all fun and games until bed time. She didn't get a wink of sleep thanks to Kenta and I'd like to think that she missed home. When I picked her up the day after she fell asleep in my arms and I had to carry her home. Her desire to have a baby brother or sister was quenched as was the thought of play dates longer than an hour. Emi had discovered what it was like having a baby in the house and decided she didn't like it. Which put both mine and Izaya's mind at ease. _

_I suppose you're wondering if I confronted Izaya about his secretary and whatever they were hiding. The answer is no. I decided not to. The flea is bound to tell me at some point and I know jumping to conclusions only makes things worse. _

_Or maybe I just want to reach our first anniversary. January 15th. I've already brought Izaya's present which should be delivered soon. I got my ring fixed too. As it turns out the god complexed flea does keep records back for eight years. I found the receipt and went straight to the jewellers. I still wear the ring wrapper to protect it. This time I know to be more careful. _

_Just like the flea I don't believe in gods or ghosts or the supernatural. Those silly slips from fortune cookies are nothing but random words, the same with horoscopes. It's all a load of crap. I didn't take my ring breaking as a bad omen except that as soon as it did break things took a one way trip downhill and the fallout isn't over yet. _

_Do I believe Izaya loves me? Sure. He does enough to prove it without saying the words. Do I believe Izaya wants the best for me and our child? Yes. He might go too far sometimes but he's thinking of us. I know he's hiding something and could that secret ruin our marriage? I don't have a clue. I'm in the dark with a slither of fear that if I do say something then everything is over. So like I've been doing since I first grew suspicious, I'll grin and bear it for the sake of my heart and Emi. _

_I confided in Celty about it and she thinks whatever the flea is up to is for my own good. She said since Izaya confides in Shinra and he doesn't look worried it can't be that bad. I hope she's right. On the surface nothing in our relationship has changed. That's all about me. Izaya is in the bath at the moment and I don't want to explain to him why I'm a hormonal mess, so onto something else..._

_Much to Mairu's chagrin Kururi was hired to work in Artic. Anri has been moved up to work on the the floor with Akabayashi leaving the young Orihara to be under my watch at all times like I have promised Kyouko. _

_Although quiet she's surprisingly or not so surprisingly observant. She doesn't let anything get to her and knows when to as- text for help. She's the only one apart from Vorona that knows about Celty's doppelgänger Mika. _

_Vorona has been a bit on edge lately. She asked me for advice on alcoholics and whether Kadota was going down that path. It hadn't been a question I could answer, so I had passed her number to Izaya. It looked like my old work colleague was coming to work smelling like booze. _

_That was the last I heard of it. Vorona took two days off at the end of last week but she seems okay now. Since the flea hasn't said anything in can only guess that everything has been sorted. But then again we both know the flea has a habit of hiding the truth, don't we?_

Shizuo sighed tossing the pen back in the box flicking the diary closed. No matter how much sweet things he ate, there was still a growing bitterness within him directed at both Izaya and himself. Locking the box the blond slid it back under the bed, rolling over and pulling the covers to his chin. By the time Izaya was out of the bath he was fast asleep.

x-x-x

Correction- was asleep. Shizuo cringed feeling cold fingers against his skin. Not to mention the cold flash along his leg. It made him shrink away clutching the covers around him. "What?" He grumbled irritated and now cold.

"Did I wake you?" His lover asked innocently. Shizuo scoffed pushing the cold raven away.

"What do you think? Your hands are freezing." The blond mumbled trying to find the warmth he had lost. "Damn it."

"Warm me up?" Izaya whispered suggestively against his ear. It had the opposite effect, drops of water sliding down still damp raven locks onto his exposed neck. Wiping the drops away the blond buried further under the covers. "Is that a no?"

"Aren't you supposed to be observant? It's not Sunday and you're getting water everywhere. Dry off properly and go to sleep, flea."

Silence filled the room and for a brief moment he thought Izaya had listened to him. "...you're mad aren't you?"

Shizuo grit his teeth. "You woke me up. Why the hell did you want to take a bath so late? It's the middle of the bloody night." He nearly shrieked a cold fingertip smoothing along his back.

"Language, Shizu-chan. I thought we could've taken a bath together. These few weeks we haven't really had any alone time. You're always busy."

"Sunday." The blond growled.

"It's our anniversary tomorrow. Doesn't that count for anything?" Shizuo sighed poking his head out from the covers.

"It's valentines day tomorrow. Our anniversary is on the 15th." A chill travelled over his skin, the raven pouncing on him and refusing to let go.

"Valentines day is the biggest day for lovers. We should've gotten married on valentines day." His lover breathed against his shoulder blade.

"Like you said its a day for lovers. I'm not letting you monopolise the day for yourself. You're lucky everyone came to our wedding."

"So? I love you what's wrong with wanting to show it?"

"What? You wanted to get married on valentines day and divorced on white day?" Shizuo shrugged Izaya off of him.

"That's mean, Shizu-chan. I'm cold."

"Put some clothes on then." Any closer to the edge and he would topple from the bed.

"Ne, Shizu-chan. I need to tell you something. I- I'll tell you tomorrow. Goodnight." Shizuo blinked turning around. Izaya had returned to his side of the bed looking like he was asleep. Moving back he rested his head on the now damp pillow staring up into the darkness.

"Izaya?" There was no answer soft snoring filling his ears. "Hey! Are you still awake?" Again his lover was trying to tell him something. The god complexed flea was hesitating whatever he was going to be told was bad. It took a while before he fell into a restless sleep.

x-x-x

Shizuo turned over feeling his lover slip from the warmth of the covers. There wasn't a word spoken between them but maybe that was only because he was pretending to be sleeping. Today it looked like the flea was finally going to tell him...the day before their anniversary. Well the raven was always a charmer with a bad sense of timing. The blond was bracing himself for the worst. Considering there was a woman involved and the fact that he was a man...yeah he jumped to conclusions.

He wasn't woken or so much as kissed with one of the raven's feather light kisses. It was just another morning. Izaya would go to work and he would take Emi to school spending the day by himself. Nothing different from usual. Knowing Izaya had already left the room Shizuo sighed throwing the covers up over his head. "Happy Valentines day, stupid flea."

Repetitive beeping filled his ears forcing him to roll over to Izaya's side of the bed fingering the snooze button. Rolling back the blond closed his eyes just for a few more minutes.

The same beeping doubled it's efforts to piss him off. Slamming his fist down on the snooze button the alarm choked into silence leaving him with a few more precious moments alone.

Beep beep beep.

Shizuo grit his teeth rolling over for the last time reaching out he tore the annoying piece of junk from its socket hurling it at the bathroom door where it's wake up call finally ceased. Shifting to the middle of the bed the blond curled up slightly into a ball.

"Mama! Time to get up!" A small weight fell on top of him. Shizuo groaned clutching at the pillow. It was just a normal day. He didn't know why he felt disappointed. Maybe Izaya had spoiled him so much that he now expected everything to be special. "Dada went to work."

"I'm up. Go and shower, I'll make breakfast." Their relationship had returned to how it was. The three of them had a sit down. Emi wanted to grow up and be an adult to help protect him. She wanted to be independent showering and bathing by herself. Going to bed on time and not needing a story. Because of what they had told her, his little girl wanted to grow up and leave her childhood behind.

"Yes mama." Emi smiled sliding from the bed. "Mama, what happened to the alarm clock?" Shizuo ran a hand through his hair staring at the shattered casing.

"...It woke me up." His sweet little girl blinked staring at him in confusion.

"But mama. Aren't they supposed to do that?"

x-x-x

The only thing that made his day that little much better was meeting up with Celty though they didn't really converse much since the sky had split open drenching them in a harsh down pour. If he could drive then he wouldn't be worrying about the four of them catching a cold.

Emi and Aiko had their bright rain coats on with the hoods covering their hair. Celty had her hood up and he was the one holding a large grey umbrella over them. It was a good thing he had made his daughter put on wellies. Instead of trying to get out of the rain she was more than happy splashing dirty water everywhere as she jumped into puddles.

Shizuo sighed watching the heavy downpour bounce. Unfortunately it was only rainy days where he didn't get looks and whispers, everyone rushing to get from a to b. glancing at the road he could see headlights illuminating the murky grey. It made him wonder why Izaya hadn't double backed to give him a lift. That's what usually happened when it was a shitty day.

"See you later, mama." Shizuo blinked wiping water from his tinted glasses. He hadn't realised that they were already at the school. Handing Celty the umbrella the blond crouched down kissing Emi's forehead.

x-x-x

Not wanting to ruin Celty and Shinra's lovey dovey day, Shizuo cancelled their visit to Piece of heaven. Before they parted his friend shoved something into his hand. Giving his thanks even though he didn't know what it was, the blond watched as Celty's retreating figure ran from view.

"I hope Shinra spoils you." Shizuo whispered to himself trekking slowly through the heavy downpour back to an empty house. Maybe he should have offered to babysit Kenta or booked his first driving lesson for today instead of Friday.

Or maybe he should have agreed that he and Izaya could celebrate their anniversary today. "I really am a protozoan." Did the emptiness he felt in his chest mean he was lonely? Maybe he should find a hobby.

x-x-x

Drowned rat wasn't a good enough description to describe his current state. Collapsing the umbrella down Shizuo unlocked the front door hurrying inside. "Fuck!" Water dripped all over the door mat as he tugged his boots off. His coat was soaked and heavy.

Celty had given him a bar of chocolate. The packaging was wet. Droplets of water on his lenses obscured his vision. The bad weather made the house seem dark. Taking off this glasses the blond blinked. It wasn't the weather. From where he stood he could see black material strapped over the kitchen windows. Stepping forward he heard a soft cracking beneath his feet.

There on the floor was a pink flower petal. "Izaya?" Shizuo called picking up the torn petal. At least that's what he had thought it was. It was soft and smooth and cracked under his fingers but not a real flower petal.

Running his thumb gently over the pink petal, coffee orbs narrowed on the floor. There was a thin plastic sheet running from the front door to the bedroom, the same colour as the carpet. Sniffing at the petal, Shizuo flicked his tongue out. It was sweet. Placing it between his teeth the blond crunched down overly sweet sugar exploding across his taste buds.

"Candy petals?" He murmured to himself standing slowly and standing to the side. Following the trail Shizuo opened the bedroom door. The car wasn't in the drive so he hadn't expected Izaya to be at home. The petals continued to the bed, a handful thrown over the bed spread that was now a silky smooth chocolate colour.

The pillows had been changed to match all puffed up. Taking another step towards the bed, the door swung closed behind him. Still there was no sign of his lover. That was until he heard soft whistling coming from the bedroom where another trail of petals led.

"Izaya?" He asked a little louder. The whistling stopped abruptly, a surprised flea poking his head around the door.

"Shizu-chan. Why are you here?" The blond blinked slowly seeing how panicked Izaya looked.

"...I live here. Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Took the day off. You're early. Why aren't you at the bakery with Celty?" He tried to take another look around the room only for his lover to bound forward embracing him. "Gah. Why are you so cold? Didn't you take your coat and an umbrella?"

"I'm fine, flea." Izaya wasn't giving up pushing him towards the bathroom.

"Your skin is like ice. We both know protozoans do catch colds. I've just finished running my bath, you can have it. Go on have a nice long soak to warm yourself up." The raven smiled pushing him into the steamy room.

"Iza-" the door closed leaving him alone in the bathroom. Through the steam he could see the bath water almost reaching the top of the bath. It looked like he had surprised the god complexed flea by cancelling his morning break with Celty.

The chill across his skin drew him to the bath just like Izaya wanted. Shizuo smiled seeing that he still had the chocolate bar in his hand. Valentines day. Shrugging off his damp clothes the blond pulled himself into the bath feeling the blissful warmth against his skin. The only thing that was missing was the strawberry scented bubble bath.

x-x-x

The only items of clothing left out were his freshly cleaned boxers and a fluffy white robe. Shizuo sighed towelling himself off. If he walked out there with nothing but a towel on then the flea would jump him and the day would be as good as over.

Putting on the boxers and the robe, Shizuo pulled it closed tying the fluffy sash. A large v of his chest was exposed as well as his legs. Without clothes though it was the best it was going to get. Now to see what his crafty lover was up to. Pulling the handle the blond pushed open the door.

Izaya was now sitting on the bed. The windows had been covered in the same black material that was in the kitchen. Soft music smothered the room blocking out the crappy weather pounding at the glass. On the end of the bed was a large bar of chocolate personalised with his name. More of the candy petals were scattered lightly over the bed. The two bedside tables had been brought together on Izaya's side.

The first held small thin sticks, packs of strawberries, a bunch of bananas and what looked like a jar holding more of the candy petals. On the other table right next to the strangely arranged items was what looked like a large silver bowl, a long thick silver pole stuck out of it, what looked like upside down metal plates grew smaller as the six of them got to the top where the pole widened.

No sooner had he stepped forward, thick brown liquid oozed from the top trickling down to cover each of the plates. It was kind of like one of those large fountains in parks and shopping centres. "Shizu-chan. Now you can come in." Unlike him the flea was fully dressed in casual clothing. One of those plain black v necks and charcoal jeans. It didn't really matter what his lover wore, anything suited him. "So unpredictable coming home early like that. Why didn't you go with Celty? Have you two had an argument?"

Shizuo shook his head letting Izaya tug him closer to the bed. "It's valentines day. Celty wanted to get home to Shinra."

"Hm. Did she give you chocolate?" The blond paused knowing the empty wrapper was in the small bin.

"Yeah." A long pause stretched between them.

"So you ate it before mine?" Izaya pouted. Shaking his head he took a seat on the bed like the flea wanted him to.

"You shoved me into the bathroom. What was I supposed to do with it? Any way what is all of this?" The raven didn't seem happy with his answer crossing his arms across his chest.

"Tch. That's not fair." His lover sulked. Shizuo shrugged staring at the strange fountain. Now that he was closer he could see a tub of whipped cream and a shaker full of chocolate and multi coloured sprinkles. "Happy valentines day and anniversary, Shizu-chan." Reaching for the large chocolate bar his hand was slapped away. "No. You can't have that yet."

x-x-x

A chocolate fountain. That was what his lover had brought him. It was more than he could ask for. His gaze fixed on one of the strawberries plucked from the packet. Slim fingers held it at the lowest part of the fountain. Shizuo licked his lips watching as the lower half of the strawberry drowned in thick chocolate.

Opening his mouth the ruby fruit skimmed his lips. Izaya teasingly held it at the tip of his tongue, enough to taste but not enough for him to bite down. "Mm." Leaning forward his lips pressed down easing the chocolate covered strawberry halfway before biting down. "Mm." The blond moaned in bliss.

Crimson orbs burned into his skin with their intensity. Shizuo was enjoying himself and the flea knew revelling in the fact that once again he was happy. The rest of the strawberry was held under the cascading chocolate. The blond happily flicked the rest of the fruit into his mouth, his hand gently holding Izaya'a wrist lapping at the slim digits. "Shizu-chan." The raven gulped snatching his hand back. He could make out the faint blush and knew his lover was aroused.

That was the last time he had Izaya's fingers anywhere near his mouth. It looked like today wasn't about screwing him into the mattress. One of the skewers was picked up and thrust into a strawberry. This time the fruit delved into the fountain lost under the curtain of thick chocolate. Shizuo watched the process mesmerised.

His gaze lingered on Izaya as he took his time engulfing the rich treat. "More." The blond breathed. In response his lover groaned low. "Mm."

"Damn, Shizu-chan." Reaching for one of the skewers himself he could feel the heated gaze on him. Choosing one of the fattest ripe ones he slowly pierced the small stick through. Twirling it under the fountain, the blond pulled back dipping the tip into the thick whipped cream.

His palette couldn't be happier, the sweetness only getting sweeter. Shizuo forced a smile seeing Izaya following the strawberry's every move. It gave him time to adjust the fluffy robe to cover his own arousal.

"M-maybe we should try something else?" Shizuo shrugged not caring as long as he got to indulge in the rich chocolate. He didn't know what Cocoa his lover had used but damn it was dangerously addictive. Seeing the raven tear a banana from the bunch, Shizuo gulped unsure if this would be his or Izaya's downfall.

No doubt Izaya was thinking the same thing, crimson orbs challenging. The long yellow fruit was held firmly in one hand, the tip snapped and tugged slowly. The first part of the peel dangled over the raven's hand.

When it was peeled completely Shizuo found himself wincing as the skewer eased through the centre. With bated breath the blond found himself shifting closer in anticipation watching as the naked fruit was eased under lashings of thick chocolate. "Cream?"

The blond nodded not trusting himself to speak. The chocolate banana teased the fluffy surface. Wordlessly he picked up the sprinkles. Adding the final decoration he moved forward getting on his knees as his lips parted tongue curling around the soft length before slowly retreating.

The tent in Izaya's pants was now painfully clear. Thick, hard and ready for him. Shizuo knew that he was the same. Leaning in, his lover leaned back. His lips were on the tip tasting the thickened cream. Swallowing the chocolate coating the blond opened his mouth wider taking the fruit to the back of his throat. "Ngh. Damn, Shizu-chan." The skewer slipped the other half of the banana dropping onto Izaya's top.

"What's wrong?" Shizuo asked his chest pounding. Izaya wasn't looking at him his clouded gaze fixed on the chocolate fountain. "Earth to flea!" Slowly his lover blinked refocusing on him, a small smirk on those soft plush lips.

"Mm. I'm wondering what you'll do if I put something else in that fountain." Shizuo groaned feeling his lower half twitch liking the idea. Leaning forward with his own smirk the blond kissed Izaya.

"Try it and see." He whispered huskily.

x-x-x

Shizuo peeked this head out from under the covers to grab at another chocolate. His actions earned him a chuckle from his lover, slim arms catching his waist. "Still eating? Where do you put all that chocolate?" The blond shrugged rolling back to the centre of the bed.

"What's the time?" He asked biting into half of the chocolate, strawberry filling oozing out.

"2:30. Don't worry I won't be late in picking Emi up." Shizuo nodded letting the other half melt in his mouth.

"Your secretary is going to be mad?" No doubt Izaya had just said he wasn't going in. The raven shifted closer spooning his body as he reached for the box selecting a chocolate.

"No. I closed the company for the day." Shizuo sighed taking the chocolate from slim fingers.

"You do realise valentines day doesn't count as a bank holiday?"

"It's the most important day of the year. I can't wait for next year." Shizuo nudged the flea gently.

"We still have our anniversary tomorrow. What did you want to tell me?" He added quickly before Izaya could argue. The raven's demeanour changed smile fading and eyes serious.

"I've done something that you might not be happy about." The blond let that sink in fearing the worst. "It was my decision, I didn't want to worry you about it."

"Just tell me." Shizuo growled losing all interest in his half full box of chocolates. A shitty wake up to a brilliant morning was quickly threatening to become an awful afternoon.

"I went to the hospital a while back to have a procedure done. Don't worry." Izaya smiled reassuringly stroking his cheek. "It's nothing serious or life threatening. My biggest regret in our relationship is that I don't have all of you. I had that fixed. Shizu-chan, I had a vasectomy."

Shizuo blinked trying to absorb the new information. From what Izaya was saying it was nothing serious. The only question that came to mind was..."What the hell is a vasectomy?" His lover chuckled sheepishly settling against him to explain.

**Next:- Midnight treats**


	11. Midnight treats

**Midnight treats**

_A/N:- Thank you for the reviews. The questions asked will be answered in this chapter. Sorry its another long one. Enjoy. _

The mood was tense as he lay still in bed all of the passionate moments throughout the day long gone. Izaya had gone to the hospital without telling him to have a surgical procedure. Shizuo wasn't sure what to say or how he was supposed to react. The confession was nothing like how thought and had completely floored him.

"Shizu-chan? Are you listening?" Izaya asked worriedly waving a hand in front of his face. The blond nodded waiting for his lover to continue. "Vasectomy, or you might know it as the snip. I'm sterile." Shizuo blinked still not understanding.

"I think I'd know if you got a body part cut off." The blond muttered wondering if this was a joke.

"Not literally. In short I can cum inside you and you won't get pregnant." Shizuo let that sink in sitting up straight.

"What? Really?" The flea nodded leaning back against the puffed up pillows.

"Yeah. In medical terms the vasa deferentia was cut and tied. They used a needle and-" Izaya went onto explain. Shizuo cringed covering his lover's mouth not wanting to hear the details.

"...a needle, down there?" Shaking his head he brushed off his own question. "When? You haven't been late home and wouldn't they have kept you in? Did it hurt? Is there any side effects?" This time Izaya was the one to silence him.

"It's was a simple procedure, I went with my secretary during work. The only thing was that I couldn't haven't sex for a week." That was when he knew. It was the week he had been on his period when Izaya had caught a cold. It didn't hurt though I'll admit it was uncomfortable having someone other than you touch me. My tubes are empty so no sperm can get into the semen. I can still fill you to the brim." The raven laughed seeing his face. "It was my choice, Shizu-chan. Thankfully I don't have to go back to that place."

Shizuo nodded knowing how much both of them hated hospitals. When they had been in the process of getting together all those years ago, His unstableness had sent Izaya flying down the stairs and straight into a hospital bed.

Then there was the whole risky pregnancy where according to both Shinra and Izaya he nearly hadn't survived to raise their child. Shizuo knew that for relationships to work sacrifice was required. He had felt the wedge stopping them from being one. That part of him was his birth anomaly, the unseen fear hanging over their heads. One careless mistake, one drunken night could have sent him back to the same situation as then. He would've ended up pregnant again and this time he had known that both he and Izaya wouldn't be able to handle it. That was why he hadn't been able to give in completely.

"You...why? You can't make a family in the future." Izaya slapped his forehead.

"I have my family. Me and you until death do us part and beyond. I have what I want. It's okay, I chose to do it." Shizuo nodded still in shock. Izaya couldn't have children. It should have been him sacrificing something. "W-we should get moving. Emi will be finishing school soon."

Slipping out of bed he reached for his jeans pulling them on, hurrying up as he heard a knock at the door. Walking to the end of the bed, the blond was thrown forward Izaya jumping onto his back. "Flea, get down!"

"Was that the door?" Opening the door Shizuo groaned hearing a crunch underneath his feet. They hadn't tidied up after their sweet filled morning. "Go, Shizu-chan." With Izaya still on his back he opened the door.

"Delivery for Orihara-san." Shizuo took the electronic pad scribbling his signature. He knew exactly what the delivery was which was now a pointless surprise considering the recipient was right behind him. The large wrapped package was left outside of the door.

"Shizu-chan, is that for me?" Izaya leaned over his shoulder being a pest. Shizuo pushed the raven back from his shoulder.

"Go and pick up Emi. I have to sort this out. Now flea." His lover quickly slipped on his coat and shoes twirling his keys as he left the house. Shizuo watched him walk away now knowing that he had parked the car down the road instead of the driveway. Grabbing the longest side Shizuo carried the parcel into the house setting it against the wall for now.

The worst part about him and Izaya having fun was the mess that was left behind. After they had played with the chocolate fountain both of them had needed a bath to clean themselves up. Crouching down he slowly rolled the plastic up catching the sugar craft petals.

x-x-x

Tearing open the package the blond blanched at the flat panels inside. A folded piece of paper floated down at his feet. Instructions. With a groan he banged his head against the wall.

The sofa he moved across the room since it would go in the bin anyway. Laying all the pieces out flat Shizuo glanced at the instructions seeing where he should start. Sitting down on the floor legs crossed the blond muttered to himself. "Stupid cuddle couch."

Knowing that Emi would be getting home soon probably excited that her father had picked her up, the blond dropped his head into his palm. There was no way it was getting done in the next ten minutes. If anything he had only opened the parcel to check all the pieces were there. It was an acceptable excuse besides it wasn't even their anniversary until tomorrow. Let Izaya spoil him today and he'd return the favour tomorrow. That was it, he could spend all day trying to put the damn thing together tomorrow.

The problem now? The pieces wouldn't go back in the box. "Damn it." Shizuo cursed shoving the bigger bits inside. They came out of the thing, why wouldn't they go back in? A tell tale rip met his ears as the edge of the box tore. "Damn it." Now the present was riling him up. Grabbing the whole thing Shizuo carried it into the bedroom sliding everything under the bed.

The last thing he needed was his strength to snap the pieces of dark cherry oak. The thing had been expensive but their first anniversary was a big deal. Unbelievably tomorrow was a full year he had been married to the flea.

x-x-x

Lifting the sofa Shizuo carried it across the room quickly putting it down as he felt his strength slip. It was a strange feeling. It felt like everything had been drained from his body making him light headed. "Wha?" Stumbling around to the sofa the blond sat down hastily feeling like he would fall down. He didn't know what had come over him. Holding out his trembling hand the blond stared at his fingers as if they could tell him the answer.

It seemed he had been just in time, happy chatter could be heard outside the door, the scrape of metal in the keyhole. Emi and Izaya were back. Shizuo didn't scold his daughter as she discarded the bag and hat on the floor tugging off her wellies and running full speed across the room. "Mama!" Shizuo held her as she clambered into his lap. "Dada came to get me!" The blond smiled ruffling her long mousy tresses. "I got chocolate. It's valentines day today. Mama did you get any chocolate?" Shizuo flushed at both the question and the look on his lover's face.

"...yeah. I got chocolate from Izaya and Celty. Did you get any?" Emi climbed down from his lap running back over to get her bag. The entire contents spilled out on the table.

"I got a chocolate bar from Aiko, this chocolate teddy from sensei. Small chocolates from Celty and the rest from my friends. I like valentines day." Shizuo smiled reaching over to pluck the folded sheets from the pile. "Ah."

"You have homework?" Izaya was laughing as he dropped down on his lap arms looped around his neck. "Why are you laughing? You'll be the one helping her." Instead of being offended Izaya leaned forward kissing his cheek.

"It's okay Shizu-chan, there's no need to be ashamed you can't understand elementary school work. I still love you." Shizuo shook his head in resignation.

"Sticks and stones, flea. I'll go and get started on dinner." The odd spell was over his strength returning. Lifting the raven over his shoulder the blond looked down at his smiling daughter. "What should we do with this trouble maker?"

"Shizu-chaaaan." Izaya whined pushing against his shoulder. "The blood is rushing to my head." Emi was in a giggling fit. Shizuo was smirking until he felt a hand on his ass giving a firm squeeze. "Put me down, ne?"

The blond gulped lowering Izaya onto the sofa. "E-Emi, do you want to help with dinner?" His gaze narrowed seeing small hands grabbing at the chocolate on the table. "No sweets until after dinner."

"But mama, you ate yours." His daughter pouted hiding her hands behind her back. "Dada said you should lead by example." Shizuo turned his heated gaze to the raven trying to make a quick escape over the back of the sofa.

"Izaya-kun!" He growled.

"Technically I was talking about adults in general and not specifically you." His lover stared back at him with a nervous smile.

"Uh uh. I asked dada if I could eat my sweets and he said when we got home." Shizuo shook his head turning back to glare at the now empty sofa. "He went that way." His daughter helpfully pointed at the bedroom door.

A soft growl rumbling in his throat, Shizuo stalked around the sofa opening the bedroom door. The bedroom was empty, under the bed was occupied so he knew the flea wasn't hiding. "Flea!" From the corner of his eye he could see the bathroom door swing closed.

That was the problem with connecting rooms. Pushing open the door it was clear to see the bathroom was empty too. "Flea!" Opening the door out into the living room Shizuo heard a door upstairs slam knowing that Izaya had hid in his office.

Giving up Shizuo shrugged it off turning back to his daughter who was standing there guiltily with hamster cheeks. "What's that in your mouth?" Emi shrugged chewing quickly. It was easy enough to make out the foiled wrapper in her clenched fist. "I said no sweets didn't I?"

"...yes mama. I only had one." Shizuo shook his head holding out his hand.

"Give me the rest. Too many sweets are bad for you. You'll get a stomach ache." Emi shook her head standing protectively in front of her chocolates arms outstretched. Some lessons had to be learnt first hand. "I'll make dinner, go do your homework."

x-x-x

Omurice. Nice and simple. Opening the cupboards Shizuo took down the ingredients. Of course he opened the drawer taking out his recipe book. It was just to double check. His memory wasn't that bad. "Rice, eggs, peppers, mushrooms..." The blond muttered moving his finger across the page. "...onions."

Izaya was a master in the kitchen able to make everything to perfection. He had to rely on his written out recipe book even though he had only made the dish less than a month ago. Shizuo sighed reaching for the apron.

Slowly backing away his head popped around the doorway seeing Emi sitting cross legged at the table pencil case on the table and pencil in hand. There was no sign of Izaya. Leaving everything where it was the blond left the kitchen jogging up the stairs and into the raven's office where Izaya was sitting behind a computer screen.

"Emi's doing her homework." Crimson orbs flicked up from where they were focused on the keyboard.

"Okay. I'll be down in a minute. Just finishing up this." Shizuo shrugged knowing that it was probably a new log about him or someone else. "Ooh apron. What are you making for dinner?"

"Omurice."

"I want a heart on mine." Shizuo shrugged leaving the room to return to the kitchen. Stupid flea wanting a heart. Shaking his head he went back to his recipe book. It wasn't so much the original recipe but the alterations that he had done.

Not every generic recipe satisfied everyone. Shizuo would put the smallest amounts in chopped finely, instead of salt he would add sugar making the dish the way he liked it.

Emi was a very fussy eater with a sweet tooth like him. The trick with her food was to cut everything so small and mix it all so well that she couldn't tell there were vegetables. A little less salt and a pinch of sugar. So far his daughter hadn't picked up on what he had been doing.

Izaya although a healthy eater and into all the nutrients crap had a cats tongue. He didn't like anything sweet or anything spicy. Bitter and acidic were just fine though. Even being clumsy he could still handle his way around the kitchen.

x-x-x

"Dinner is ready." The blond sniffed rubbing his eyes. Taking the plates from the side he placed them on the table. Emi came rushing in taking a seat on her chair. Izaya followed in after taking a seat.

"Onions again, Shizu-chan?" His lover asked when he rubbed his eyes again. "You're making it worse like that." The blond shrugged removing his apron trying to ignore the stinging in his eyes. Every damn time. Taking his own plate and sitting at the table, Shizuo squinted. "Protozoan." His lover grumbled scraping back his chair.

"Mama." His daughter pushed a chocolate across the table in a bid to cheer him up.

"Look at me, Shizu-chan." Shizuo growled lifting his head letting Izaya wipe his eyes with a damp cloth. "Did you cut yourself again too?" Shrugging his shoulders the blond hid his hands under the table. "I'll take that as a yes." Shizuo snatched the damp cloth dabbing his own eyes. Every damn time he chopped onions.

"Shut up and eat your dinner, stupid flea." The blond grumbled cutting into his own. Izaya sat back on his chair looking at him with those damn puppy dog eyes. "What?"

"Why does Emi have a heart on hers? You wrote flea on mine." Shizuo shrugged refusing to do something that Izaya would be overly happy with and never let him forget it. "It's valentines day." His lover sulked. "Emi, your mummy doesn't love me."

"For crying out loud. I'll do a stupid heart next time." Yanking Izaya closer he kissed him quickly on the lips. "Shut up and eat your food. Emi, don't repeat anything you just heard." That was the last time they spoke at the table.

x-x-x

It was expected. Shizuo was sitting back on the sofa watching his brother's latest film with Izaya curled up against him. Of course that didn't mean he was watching it in peace. He knew it wasn't Izaya's type of film in fact if he was honest it wasn't his.

This one was a horribly cliché romance that made him cringe. His brother's acting was superb as usual. It was just a really bad film. Shizuo had known that ten minutes into the film. What was worse was Kasuka would ask him what he thought about it. How was he supposed to tell the actor it was torture?

"This script writer has never been in love. In what world does that work?" The blond sighed feeling the same. "The woman has her head in the clouds." Every flaw his lover pointed out he couldn't deny. Which was why he was out of his seat the moment he heard a whine from the kitchen. "Want me to pause it for you?"

"No it's fine. Let me know what happens." Izaya laughter followed him to where Emi was sitting at the table clutching her stomach.

"Mama. My tummy hurts." Shizuo sighed crouching down. "This is why you said not to eat all my chocolate, isn't it?" The blond nodded ruffling her hair. "I'm sorry. Can you make it go away?"

"I can't. Go lay down, you'll feel fine after you sleep." Shizuo scooped his daughter up carrying her from the kitchen. The raven looked over the sofa raising a brow.

"Stomach ache? Your mummy did warn you." Shizuo shook his head. Everyone made mistakes. When he was Emi's age he had sneaked down for a midnight snack gorging himself on pudding cups until he felt like puking. Most likely Izaya had done it too at some point. His daughter groaned holding her belly.

x-x-x

Artic was pretty empty, Shizuo hoped it was because the customers were at home spoiling their loved ones. As it was he had plenty to do when he got home to get ready for his anniversary. The girls were smiling looking like they all had good days. Vorona was practically blushing, the same with Anri. The only one that wasn't happy was Kururi. His sister in law was still avoiding Mairu. Each one of them had given him chocolates when he had walked in. Shizuo had never thought he could get sick of chocolate.

What had happened today though was quickly changing his mind. With Izaya's secret out it felt like the two of them were back on track. "Shizuo-san." He hadn't even heard the door open.

Mikado, Kida and Karisawa walked towards the bar. "Shizu-Shizu." The otaku chirped rummaging through her bag. "I got you this." Another bar of chocolate.

"Thanks." Shizuo smiled adding it to the rest. "The flea said he closed the company today."

"Yeah. He announced yesterday that we shouldn't bother coming in." A loud snort made him took at the blond who hated Izaya.

"Tell it right. He did that whole annoying thing he does." Kida coughed. "Good morning my lovely humans, I hope you work hard and have a productive day. Tomorrow as you know is valentines day and I will be at home with my Shizu-chan. So don't bother coming in tomorrow." The blond smiled finishing his imitation of the flea. "And that was the shortened version. I don't know how you've stayed with that bastard for so long."

"That's simple. Love." Mikado said quietly. "I'm going to see Sonohara-san." Shizuo watched the raven hurry up the stairs. He didn't miss the bitter look on the blond's face.

"Have you ever wanted to monopolise someone?" Shizuo shrugged pouring the young man a drink.

"I'm the wrong person to ask. That's more Izaya's thing. He wanted to celebrate our anniversary together a day early. The flea is...why do you ask?" Shizuo trailed off not wanting to get too far into his relationship.

"Never mind. I'm just getting a little tired of sharing." Kida sighed vanishing upstairs. Shizuo shrugged feeling a tug on his sleeve. The door opened again this time Mairu walked in. It explained why Kururi was hiding behind him.

"Maybe this is the perfect time to talk to her." The blond said quietly. The grip on his sleeve tightened. With a sigh he looked up facing the other twin's glare. "Kururi, you can't run forever. At some point you have to stop."

"...know." Reluctantly the young woman let go of him lifting the hatch to see her sister. Shizuo wished her the best even if it was an immoral relationship and doomed to fail. It was the same with the trio. Nothing lasted forever.

x-x-x

Shizuo cursed as he climbed awkwardly out of the cab holding a large sushi platter. Stupidly he had almost forgotten the other half of Izaya's present. In a last minute dash to Russian sushi the blond had made it just in time.

Slamming the door Shizuo hurried up the path unlocking the door. It was midnight and officially valentines day was over, their anniversary beginning. Closing the door he noticed the light was on. That meant Izaya was still up. Dropping his keys into the bowl the blond turned around his mouth dropping open. "Seriously?" He grumbled seeing the cuddle couch put together looking exactly like it had on the web page he had brought it from.

"Shizu-chan!" His lover grinned laying on the plush cream cushions. "Welcome home. I found your present. Ooh you got me more." Izaya hopped from the large sofa bounding over to him. "Mm my favourite."

"What are you still doing up?" Shizuo muttered handing the platter over. He wasn't happy that the raven had stepped in and already done what he had planned to do.

"I was bored and curious so I thought I'd take a look around. Hiding presents under the bed, really protozoan?" His lover's gaze dropped to the small bag in his other hand. "You got more chocolate. Hn." Shrugging in response the blond kicked of his boots walking over to the cuddle sofa. The dark cherry oak was smooth his fingers gliding down its perfect finish. The cream cushions were thick and plush rivalling the mattress on their bed.

If Izaya could do romantic gestures then he could too. Taking the platter back, Shizuo placed it on the table pulling Izaya tumbling down on top of him. "Stop being so jealous, it's just friend chocolate. You're the idiot I married."

"I'm a billion times smarter than you, Shizu-chan." Izaya teased. "Ne, Shizu-chan. I'm feeling hungry." Shizuo looked at the platter getting an idea.

x-x-x

Lounging back against plush cushions, the platter was resting next to him, Izaya sitting between his legs. "Mm, I like this idea." Shizuo grinned picking up a piece of sushi with the chop sticks held between his fingers.

"Don't distract me, flea. Do you know how flimsy these damn chopsticks are?" The blond growled in frustration bringing the sushi to his lover's lips. Izaya opened his mouth nibbling on the offering.

"Oh I know very well how hard you're trying. Your fingers are trembling in exertion." Shizuo groaned the thin sticks snapping in half. "Oops there they go. I suppose you'll have to use your fingers." Tossing the sticks on the table the blond groaned feeling the slick oiliness as he picked up another piece of sushi, placing it against his lover's lips. "Mm."

The blond swallowed feeling Izaya's slick tongue lap against his fingers. Why was it the damn flea could make something as simple as feeding feel erotic? Quickly pulling his fingers from a waiting trap Shizuo reached for another piece. "I'm surprised you're eating this late-early. You usually moan about metabolism and stuff."

A dark chuckle caressed his ears, his pounding heart giving away exactly what that voice was doing to him. "Oh I'll work it off. I'll need your help though, Shizu-chan." The raven looked up at him with a wink. Shizuo sighed plucking up another piece of sushi.

x-x-x

Give an inch and Izaya would take a mile. Or maybe he was lenient because of what his lover had done. Or maybe it was because it was their anniversary. Either way the house rules had been broken and Shizuo didn't give a damn. It was only a Thursday albeit their anniversary and making an exception on valentines day meant two days he would have broken his own rules. The quarter full platter balanced precariously on the edge of the cushion as he sat back against the cushions.

Shizuo didn't know what was wrong with him, silk handkerchief stuffed between his parted lips, Izaya's belt wrapped around his wrists. The raven had allowed him to keep his shirt on in case their daughter did wake up to disturb them.

His heard pounded mind feeling numb as the god complexed flea pushed slowly inside him. "Mm." Shizuo found himself whimpering. It was very rare that he let Izaya touch his female parts since the first time it had happened he had ended up pregnant. After that things hadn't been the same in that department.

"Shizu-chan, you're so wet down here." Shizuo rolled his eyes even as a strange blissful numbness took over his mind. It was probably a link loose in his head that made him react like a girl when Izaya touched him there. That was the only reason for the high pitched gasp, the way a soft whine left his throat muffled by the silk in his mouth.

Yet even if that was the case it was clear that something had changed. Thanks to Izaya his second hole had become nothing meaningful. The danger of becoming pregnant had been brushed away. When he was with Izaya he was completely safe, there wouldn't be a second time. Maybe that was why the blond let himself melt in Izaya's more than capable arms toes curling as instead of the underlying worry all he could focus on was the hot throbbing need inside him. Without protection he could feel every inch of his lover inside him."mmnn."

Gently fingers brushed his bangs back looking into his eyes. "Shizu-chan, am I hurting you?" Shizuo whimpered lowering his head clasping his tied fists closer together. He could feel his face burn in embarrassment. There was a slight pinch but it didn't hurt. If anything it felt good. Really good. So good that he worried over his female parts being more sensitive. "Shizu-chan?" Izaya whispered against his ears trying to ease his hands down.

"...mm." The blond responded feeling his body slide further down the cushions saving him from his inquisitive lover's probing. Maybe it hadn't been a good idea after all. Shizuo felt his mind spin in the discovery that there was a bit more femininity left in him than he had first thought.

"Shizu-chan?" Shizuo moaned confused as the thick length was pulled from his entrance. "What's wrong?" The platter was left forgotten Izaya tucking himself away and gently pulling him from the sofa. "Come on let's continue in our room."

x-x-x

Stupid. So stupid. Shizuo cursed inwardly knocking his fist against his head. It was all going so well and he had to mess everything up. "Don't do that, protozoan." The pair of them were laying in the centre of the bed, Izaya resting on his chest. "Was it something I did?"

"No. Nothing like that. Forget it." Shizuo went to turn over finding his strength failing him.

"I can't forget it, Shizu-chan. What happened? Talk to me." Shizuo remained silent unable to find the words he wanted to say. "No? Then I'll guess and you tell me if I'm right. Will that be okay?" The raven whispered drawing patterns on his chest with his finger.

"Mm." Right now he couldn't trust himself to speak in fear of his old voice coming back. His lover took the small noise as a yes.

"Was work okay?" Izaya asked before answering the question himself. "No it's not that. You didn't fumble with your keys. Which means it's because I put the sofa together and you wanted to do it?" Shizuo blinked before looking away. "Partly then." His lover sighed moving to draw patterns dangerously close to his nipples. "Or is it because you think I'm lying? I wouldn't put you through that again, Shizu-chan. I went to a different doctor after to check it worked, I've never jerked off so much in my life. I'm safe and sterile. There's nothing for you to worry about." Shizuo sighed playing with a stray lock of Izaya's hair. "But it's not that is it?"

"...no." The blond admitted. There had been no doubt in his mind that Izaya was telling the truth. "It's me." It was always him.

"Ah. Do you want to talk about it?" His lover turned looking up at him.

"...not really. I don't feel myself..." Shizuo mumbled quietly though with Izaya so close to him he knew he had been heard.

"Hm? Do you mean you don't want me to touch you there?" He could see the disappointment in those concerned crimson orbs. Shizuo felt a stab of guilt. Izaya had made a sacrifice and he was still holding back.

"...no. I-it's just...fuck it." The blond growled clenching his fist. "I sound weird..." The raven's hand rested on his clenched hand stilling the trembling.

"So? I'm the only one that hears you. Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Tch. Been a while since I heard that." Shizuo grumbled trying to sound angry to cover his voice breaking. "If you say-" Izaya pressed down on his chest placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

"I won't, you know that. You're mine, Shizu-chan. Your sexy voice, flushed cheeks and these soft lips. Every inch of you belongs to me. If you can't trust me then we have a problem."

Shizuo closed his eyes taking a deep breath. "I trust you." His hand slowly relaxed reaching to cup Izaya's cheek. "But don't you dare tease." He warned. Like a cat the raven nuzzled against his hand covering it with his own.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Shizu-chan. I won't hurt you." Izaya kissed his palm keeping that sharp predatory gaze on him. Soft lips pressed against his wrist. "As many times as it takes..." Shizuo flushed their fingers entwined. "...I'll show you how much I love you."

His lover continued to kiss along his wrist moving up to his forearm. Shizuo subtly inched his arm away. "Flea." He growled in warning. Izaya smirked holding his hands up.

"I'm only showing how much I care." The blond glowered at his lover's smooth response. The god complexed flea was the definition of tease. "It'll feel good. I promise." Shizuo sighed his palm sliding under the back of Izaya's shirt. With a tiny push the raven was sprawled on top of him.

A shiver ran along his spine feeling sly fingers ghost along his lower back. "I-Izaya." Shizuo froze. Izaya had one of his grins pecking his lips.

"It's okay, this will remain between the two of us. No tricks this time. You can let go completely, silly protozoan." Shizuo nodded again letting Izaya kiss him again.

x-x-x

Shizuo slowly opened his eyes blinking at the daylight throwing a glare across his face. With a soft groan the blond lifted his arm hiding his eyes from view. Pressing his other arm down on the mattress to push himself up, Shizuo inwardly cursed at the soreness between his legs.

His throat itched feeling hoarse even though a single sound hadn't made it out of their bedroom last night muffled by his lover's for once not talkative mouth. Closing his eyes a slide show of memories played through his mind making Shizuo want to bury his head in his hands.

Nose twitching he slowly looked behind him seeing Izaya propped up on one arm. "Good morning, Shizu-chan. Are you-"

"Morning." The blond muttered clasping his hands under the covers. "You want breakfast?" It was the first thing to come to mind trying to avoid that probing gaze.

"Mm, I'm still quite full from earlier." Izaya purred sliding closer. Shizuo didn't move finding himself pinned down underneath his eager lover. "Happy anniversary. We made it a year." Their lips met in a quick soft kiss, the blond keeping his eyes on the door in case their daughter was awake and wanted to help him up.

"Yeah." Another kiss this time with more pressure. "We did." Shizuo whispered more to himself than answering Izaya. Lifting his head the blond kissed the flea back not at all surprised by the warm tongue licking teasingly against his dry lips.

"I wish I didn't have work today."

"Well you do and I need to get Emi ready for school." Shizuo muttered pushing Izaya away. "Continue later if you must." Swinging his legs from the bed Shizuo flushed as he sat up feeling a warm trickle inside him.

"Mama! Dada!" Emi came into the room a wide smile on her face climbing onto the bed. "Happy anniversary." Shizuo pressed a finger against his cheek forcing his lips to quirk into a smile. Hopefully it helped cover up the uncomfortableness he felt.

"Thank you sweetie. Izaya, can you make her breakfast?" After their long passionate session he had fallen asleep without a worry. It seemed like Izaya had done the same, the residue of their act was still inside him finding an exit. It was a surprise he still had his boxers on.

"I want mama to do it." Shizuo groaned quietly covering his legs with the covers. His daughter gasped softly moving closer. "You got hurt, mama!" The blond blinked glancing down at where his little girl was looking. "Stay here." Before he could stop her she was off rushing from the room.

Maybe he should have said no evidence instead of making sure Emi didn't walk in on them. "Flea..." A low growl rumbled in his throat as he turned to glare at his lover. Not only had the raven cum inside him and fallen asleep before cleaning him up, from what he could see his chest was covered in hickies making him look like he had some sort of allergy.

"Ah. You know you didn't mind me doing that so much last night." Izaya smiled sheepishly. "I may have fallen asleep straight after you."

"You think?" The blond snapped flushing crimson. His expression quickly changed as his daughter ran back into the room saving the raven from a tongue lashing.

"Mama, I'll make it better." Innocent crimson blinked up at him. Shizuo dropped his head in his hands seeing the box of plasters in her small hands.

"Emi, I don't need- ngh never mind." Damn that look. Damn Izaya for putting him in this situation. Sitting still he let his daughter peel off the character plasters placing them on top of the red marks. Glancing accusingly behind him he could see Izaya leaning forward resting his head on his knees as those sharp eyes watched the two of them.

"Do they hurt?" His daughter asked tilting her head. Shizuo shook his head letting her continue what she was doing.

"No, they don't. They're just...bug bites." He thought up quickly. Seeming as he called his lover a flea it pretty much fit.

"Bug bites? Did you kill it?"

"Emi, why don't we leave your mama to get dressed?" Izaya spoke quickly. "What do you think of the cuddle couch?" Shizuo groaned remembering the food left out.

"It's big. Really big. Can I jump on it?" He didn't get to hear the rest, Izaya scooped their daughter up carrying her from the room. Shizuo groaned again dropping back against the mattress. Only the damn flea could make him this much of a mess.

Standing slowly he bit his lip feeling something swish inside him. Shizuo inwardly cursed his face red as he hurried to the bathroom and locked both doors so not even his lover could get in.

His body felt strange. Don't make a mistake he had liked what had happened it was just the after effects to deal with. Shizuo quickly stripped off his boxers not bothering to look at the mess inside. Izaya hadn't used a condom or pulled out.

That should have been a red flag right there but with the vas- ah fuck it whatever it was called their act had no consequences other than the fear of his feminine side feeling pleasurable. It left him feeling confused at the possibilities in the future. What would happen if having sex like that became a regular occurrence? What if he came to like that way more than normal?

"Damn it." Shizuo sighed catching his reflection in the glass shower door. One by one he pulled the plasters from his body revealing the reddish marks. Something trickled down his leg and with a regretful sigh the blond stepped inside turning the water on.

x-x-x

_Are you sure you want to be here? _Celty typed out. They were sitting in the bakery again, his best friend with a piece of shortcake and him with chocolate cake and a strawberry milkshake.

"Yeah. The flea is at work anyway. We had enough time to celebrate yesterday." Shizuo stirred his drink with a straw glad that Izaya has for once taken his responsibilities seriously. "What about you?" He asked not wanting to get into a discussion that would make him think about last night again.

Celty flushed clutching her phone before slowly relaxing and typing. _It was good. Kenta was awake almost the whole day so... I gave him chocolates though which he was happy enough with. Did Izaya spoil you? _

"Something like that." Shizuo averted his eyes. "He um covered the floor in these sugar craft rose petals and brought me a chocolate fountain..." Trailing off he could feel Celty's eyes on him. "The flea likes to go overboard."

His best friend's hand rested on his arm. _You're loved. It's okay to be happy. _Shizuo nodded slowly. He was happy, there wasn't anything else that could make him happier.

"Yeah. I know. It just feels like every time we're happy something ruins it." The blond admitted thinking back to every time he could say truthfully from the heart I'm happy. That was when things started going wrong.

_Don't let it. It's okay to be selfish. Now how did Izaya react to his present? _His friend was teasing him a smile dancing on her lips.

"He liked it. So does Emi. We had to stop her from jumping all over it this morning." Celty's eyes twinkled with light. It didn't matter that she couldn't laugh or speak. Shizuo could tell what his friend was feeling even if she didn't type it out. "If you need some alone time with Shinra, I could babysit. You've done the same for us."

_Thanks Shizuo. I guess we haven't done much since Kenta was born. I- my body isn't the same. I don't have the figure I used to. After Aiko I exercised and did everything to get back to my usual size. This time I haven't had time to. Kenta only sleeps when it's inconvenient. _

"Celty, Shinra loves you. You've seen how he glares at anyone including me that gets close to you. So what if you still have a little baby weight. If anyone says anything I'll punch them for you. Listen, yesterday was pretty much our anniversary celebration. Izaya is at work today and I have the day free. I'll take care of Kenta. You and Shinra can have a do over of yesterday."

_Are you sure? Izaya and you don't have any plans today? _Shizuo shrugged going back to drinking his strawberry milkshake.

"It's fine." The chair opposite him scraped back, the leather clad woman throwing her arms around him. Shizuo caught a whiff of her hair, the smell of her perfume and small breasts pushing against him. Everything a woman should be and everything that he wasn't. His hand patted her shoulder reassuringly, curious gaze dropping to her waist. It puzzled him what she was worried about. The jumpsuit fit her perfectly.

One arm dropped and awkwardly the blond tilted his head trying to read the message being typed. _Thank you. _Shizuo shrugged holding her close his nose tickling from the beautiful thick wavy tresses.

"No problem. What are friends for?"

x-x-x

Shizuo had never seen Shinra look so happy. Of course that was only after he had said he would babysit. The look he received when entering his friend's home was as usual accusingly. "My belove- Shizuo, what are you doing here? Did you get hurt?"

"Nah. I'm just here to pick up Kenta." The little boy was currently in the illegal doctor's arms. "You two can have the rest of the day to yourselves." And there it was a hopeful smile on the love struck raven's lips.

"Your anniversary is today." Shizuo shrugged in response gently prying the boy away from an over protective Shinra. "Thanks. Since you're being so helpful does that mean I can have some of your blood? Ouch. It was a joke my beloved."

Shizuo shook his head watching as Celty gave the raven a much deserved jab to the ribs. "Celty, I'll see you later at the school. Come on Kenta, time to give your parents some alone time." Turning to leave a hand caught his wrist.

_Thank you. _Shizuo smiled reading the message.

"You already said it. Do you have his stuff?" His friend nodded with a smile letting go of his wrist.

"So do you want a drink or anything?" Shinra asked scratching the back of his head. Shizuo shook his head turning the offer down. He had already intruded long enough. "Did Izaya go through with his plans?"

The blond took a seat waiting for Celty to return. "What plans do you mean? Romantic or medical?" He asked quietly knowing that Shinra was Izaya's confident. The man had known and hadn't said anything.

"...ah! He told you?" Shizuo said nothing nodding once. "Everything?" Nodding again his gaze remained on Shinra. "It wasn't my place to say anything Shizuo. You have to believe me."

With a sigh he let his head drop. "I know. It's the flea. I don't get why he didn't discuss it with me." Shizuo muttered letting the small child grab his finger. Shinra sat down next to him.

"Because he didn't want you to get hurt. If he had told you his plan before going ahead what would you have done?"

"Izaya can't have children any more. It would have been easier if I-"

"Had your tubes tied? Izaya knows how you feel about yourself. He didn't want you making any choices you would regret. Izaya wants every part of you without forcing you to make a sacrifice. Ah my beloved..." Shinra smiled their conversation over as Celty walked back into the room holding a blue bag. It was time to leave.

x-x-x

Kenta was as good as gold falling asleep in his arms on the way back home. Still at least his friend got to have some time alone. dropping the bag down next to the cuddle couch the blond slowly sat down rocking his arms as the boy stirred.

His second god child went back to sleep leaving him with nothing to do until Kenta woke up hungry. The good thing about the cuddle couch was that it was more like a cabinet on the outside. Balancing the boy on one arm, Shizuo reached over the side feeling around blindly for his drivers theory book.

Tomorrow would be his first lesson and to be honest he was nervous as hell. So much so that he was having some pretty bad dreams. With his strength there was no guessing what the worst case scenario would be.

Flicking to the latest page Shizuo read over the post it notes a smile tugging at his lips. With Izaya's help things had become a lot easier. In theory he should be able to drive without any problems...in theory. The blond hadn't stepped foot into the drivers seat in a car as of yet and although his lover had offered to give him a lesson behind the wheel, Shizuo had turned him down for two reasons.

The first was that if he accidentally broke something the flea would tease him relentlessly about it. The second was that the way Izaya was teaching him to remember everything was full of sexual innuendos that no doubt he would be subjected to in the seat of a car.

x-x-x

"Shizu-chan! I'm home." Came a chirpy voice from the door. "I thought we could have lunch to- what is that?" Izaya finally looked up seeing the child in his arms. "Why is Kenta-kun here?"

"I offered to babysit." Shizuo responded quietly placing a finger on his lips. "I've only just got him back to sleep." He felt slightly guilty seeing his lover's shoulders slump. "We can still have lunch together." Gently laying the sleeping child against the plump cushions of the cuddle couch, the blond shifted over into the centre.

"Mm. I thought it would be just us." His lover dropped down next to him legs crossed. "I can't believe you agreed to babysit on our anniversary. So mean." With a sigh Shizuo took the bag already smelling the sushi. He didn't understand how the flea could eat so much without getting sick of the stuff.

"I didn't think we had plans. We pretty much did everything twice over yesterday. It's only until I pick Emi up."

"Riiight." Izaya grumbled. "Only four hours then." The bag was taken away, the plastic container open on the raven's lap. "Emi won't be asleep until gone seven and then you have work."

"I'm not skipping. It's only February and I've already taken plenty of time off. It's a miracle Shiki-san still keeps me there." Shizuo sighed his lover turned away from him. "What do you want from me, flea?"

His heated question was met with silence which only seemed to grow longer with each passing second. Yes it was his fault that he had offered not agreed to look after Kenta. Izaya hadn't said anything about it. "Sorry." The blond sighed unable to take the awkwardness any longer. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I-" Shizuo went to stand grabbing his head as a wave of dizziness washed over him. "Ugh."

"Shizu-chan?" His lover was there to steady him sharp crimson orbs trying to identify the problem. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I got up too fast." The grip around him tightened and he knew the flea didn't believe his shitty excuse for a single second. Something was happening to his body, if it was what he thought it was then it felt like a reason to celebrate. After all these years being a freak he was finally becoming normal. Well with the exception of still being part female but it was a start.

"Liar. Are you feeling sick? Did we go too far last night? Maybe you should see Shinra." Shizuo shook his head making himself comfortable on the cuddle couch with his lover brushed against him shoulder to shoulder.

"I'm not going to see Shinra over a dizzy spell. You know what it was like when Emi was little, we never had any time together." The blond sighed wrapping an arm around Izaya's waist.

"I know. You're too nice for your own good, I don't want to see you get hurt." The raven whispered against his ear. "I suppose it's good once in a while just to talk. That wasn't your first dizzy spell was it?"

Shizuo shrugged a small smile on his face. "No. I know what's wrong, don't worry it's nothing bad. Izaya, I think I'm losing my strength." The container nearly hit the floor if not for his quick reflexes. The god complexed raven looked like a deer caught in headlights though it didn't take him long to regain his composure. Shizuo waited silently for his lover to say something.

"How is that nothing bad, Shizu-chan? Since when?"

"Not long probably after you got sick weeks back. It's small and inconsistent at the moment like dropping shopping bags and the occasional slip of bottles at work." Shizuo explained excitedly. "I was thinking that maybe it's an age thing like- what's that thing women get when their periods stop?"

"Menopause."

"Yeah that. Maybe I'm growing out of my strength. I won't be a monster any more." Izaya didn't share his enthusiasm.

"You're not a monster, Shizu-chan. It doesn't matter what others say, you know that. Do you feel sick when your strength... glitches?"

"Dunno. Maybe." He couldn't really describe it. It felt like his strength was draining then he would lose his abnormality for a few moments accompanied with a slight stagger or dizziness.

"Anaemia? Maybe you caught my cold? Tomorrow can you go and see Shinra? Please?" Izaya interlaced their fingers squeezing gently conveying his worry. Shizuo sighed fighting a losing battle.

"Yeah. Okay. I'll go and see him tomorrow. You don't look happy. If I'm losing my strength then this is the best thing that could happen. I'll be one more step towards normal." Shizuo grinned not understanding why his lover wasn't happy for him. "Or am I no good without being a freak?"

"Shizu-chan, you've had your strength since you were seven. You've never been without it. If it's because of your age then that's fine, I'll help you readjust. Have a check up with Shinra just in case."

"Fine. After my driving lesson." Handing the container back Shizuo watched his lover eat. Not even the flea's favourite tuna could wipe the dark look from his face.

"When is the lesson?"

Shizuo sighed laying back against the plush cream cushions. "Ten o'clock tomorrow. I'll have time to get home before going."

"Hn. I'll take Emi to school tomorrow. You are not getting behind the wheel with your dizzy spells."

"I can handle myself, flea. It's not a problem." Sharp crimson glared at him and he knew they were heading for another argument. That was until he heard rustling behind him turning to see Kenta was awake. "I should change him."

"Hn. This isn't over, Shizu-chan." Ignoring Izaya the blond gently lifted the crying boy into his arms trying to calm him down. The fact that Celty or Shinra weren't there made his god son wail louder. "Pass him here. Make sure you eat something." Shizuo didn't argue as the boy was taken from his arms. "Let's get you changed, Kenta-kun."

Shizuo watched the pair as Izaya carried the boy into the bathroom holding onto the bag. The raven didn't look any different with the child in his arms. He had thought he might catch a glimpse of regret knowing they could never have another child together. His lover didn't look phased and Shizuo knew that Izaya had been serious in his decision. The scars of him almost not leaving the hospital after Emi's birth ran too deep.

Next:- Tough lesson


	12. Tough lesson

**Tough lesson**

Celty had a glow about her as they met up outside the gate. It looked like it had been the right thing to do no matter what his jealous lover said. _Has he been any trouble? _Shizuo looked down at the sleeping child. "No, no trouble at all." Carefully handing Kenta back to his mother the blond sighed stuffing his hands back into his pockets.

_Do you wanna talk about it? _Celty typed one handed balancing Kenta in her arms. Shizuo shook his head glancing at the school gate where in a few minutes his daughter should be running through. A tap on his shoulder drew his attention back to the screen. _Izaya wanted to spend the day with you didn't he? You didn't have to sacrifice your anniversary for us. _

"It's fine. We spent the day together anyway just not the way he hoped. Besides Kenta being there stopped another argument." Their conversation was disrupted a group of children running from the gate.

"Mama!" Came a loud cry, Emi running into his arms. Shizuo grinned his smile slipping as he struggled to lift her. Maybe it was something to see Shinra about after all. Hoping the strain didn't show on his face the blond groaned feeling his stomach twist, his daughter slipping from his arms and down his legs. "Mama?"

Covering his mouth Shizuo was glad there was a bin close by, grabbing the sides he emptied the contents of his stomach blaming Izaya for buying bad sushi. That was the only thing he had eaten differently. "Mama?" His daughter asked panicking. "Do you need dada?"

Shaking his head his cheeks flushed feeling dozens of eyes on him. Of all places to be sick it had to be outside of school with a bunch of parents and their children watching. A small hand rested on his leg. Glancing down he could see his daughter stretching trying to reach higher. It was Celty who laid a delicate hand on his back rubbing gently in circles. "I'm calling dada."

Shizuo shook his head the movement making him throw up again. His phone was gone from his pocket and into his daughter's hand. It wasn't too hard to work his phone considering Izaya was on speed dial. "Dada." The blond groaned hearing the call go through. "Mama is being sick."

"Emi, pass me the phone." Embarrassment flooded him, all he wanted to do was leave the area. His stomach though had other ideas keeping him pinned to the spot. There wasn't even that much left in his stomach to keep throwing up.

"Uh huh. Okay dada. I'll let mama know." His little girl smiled handing the phone back. "Dada said he's on his way and to make sure you don't go anywhere until he gets here." Emi informed him standing there like an angel the shining halo practically blinding. Shaking his head he tried to turn away only for Aiko and Celty to add their bits.

_I think you should wait for Izaya. _Shizuo glanced at the message watching the road for his damn lover to turn up. The least they could let him do was move away from the school. "Orihara-san? Is everything okay?" Of course it just has to be his daughter's teacher that happened to see him puking his guts up.

"Fine. I ate something dodgy at lunch." The woman- he forgot her name- nodded in understanding.

"Do you want to sit down?" Shizuo shook his head wanting the ground to swallow him up. It didn't take long at all to hear the screeching of tyres as Izaya's sleek car slid neatly next to the curb. "Ah, it looks like you're in good hands." The woman's fear of Izaya was palpable, the blond watched her scurry away and he didn't blame her.

The driver's door was thrown open a stern looking Izaya hopping out hurrying to his side. Shizuo stood frozen unable to move. He hated having the attention on him and with the number of people increasing around him it only made him feel worse. "Come on, Shizu-chan." The rear door was opened, the flea ushering him inside. "Do you need a lift?"

The blond slouched his head between his knees as he tried to steady himself. Next to him he could hear the click of a seat belt Celty, Aiko and Emi climbing into the car. He could feel Celty's hand on his shoulder. "Ugh." Shizuo groaned. If he knew the flea they were heading straight for Shinra's.

"Dada what's wrong with mama?" His daughter asked from the passenger seat.

"Bad sushi." The blond mumbled out.

"I'm feeling fine, Shizu-chan. It's not the sushi. I'll get Shinra to do a check up."

"It'll pass flea, I'll be better after a nap."

"Hn. This isn't up for discussion. This might have something to do with why you're losing your strength." Shizuo slumped closing his eyes deciding to conserve his energy rather than get into a fight with his stubborn lover.

x-x-x

Shizuo blinked slowly raising his head as the car door closed, the vehicle slowly pulling away from outside of his best friend's home. "...Iz-"

"You aren't well enough to make the trip up there. I'll arrange for Shinra to drop round." Izaya quickly interrupted. "We'll be home soon." Shizuo nodded clutching at his head not understanding why he was feeling so weak.

A soft click sounded loudly against his ears. "Mama, are you okay?"

"Emi, get down from there. Put your seatbelt on."

"I wanna sit next to mama." Shizuo couldn't bring himself to look up and see what was going on.

"It's dangerous. Get down." The breaks screeched making him lurch forward in his seat. "Sorry Shizu-chan." His lover apologised. A small hand landed on his back and he knew Emi was now in the back seat with him. "Emi, put your seat belt on."

"Yes dada." Shizuo groaned quietly clutching at his head. The sooner they got home the better, he didn't think he had what it took to throw open the door and show the passer bys the contents of his stomach. "Mama, are you okay?" Emi asked rubbing his back.

"Almost home, Shizu-chan." Shizuo remained silent. It was risky to so much as nod his head. It didn't help that he felt the car speed up.

x-x-x

Emi ran on ahead of them, whilst Izaya helped him from his bent position. "I knew this wasn't a good thing." The raven muttered looping his arm over his shoulder. Shizuo stepped out breathing in fresh air, his legs were shaky taking steps from the car and along the path to their home. Behind him the car door slammed shut followed by a soft beep.

"..." Shizuo narrowed his gaze trying to meet his lover's eyes. "S-"

"Don't worry about it. You're sick, I should have noticed something was wrong. Hold onto me protozoan, you're slipping." Through shuttered vision Shizuo slowly staggered up the path reaching blindly for his key. "I've got it."

This wasn't how he saw his day going. Stumbling through the door his arm began slipping from the raven's support. "Ugh." His arm felt like it was being torn from its socket, Izaya trying to hold him up. Shizuo shivered feeling cold and weak.

With Izaya's guidance the blond was helped into the bedroom where his arm slipped again letting him tumble onto the mattress. "Emi, can you get a bucket?" Shizuo shivered again swallowing back the bile that threatened to rise. "You're home now, Shizu-chan." Letting his eyes slide shut his damp lashes brushed against his skin. How humiliating and pathetic.

His breath hitched feeling Izaya smooth thumb the lone tear away. The mattress dipped his lover's warmth against his belly. Izaya said nothing gently stroking back his bangs. Shizuo shuddered again curling into himself. "Dada, I can't find the bucket." His daughter called running into the room.

"Okay, I'll get it." Cracking one eye open the blond stared at his lover's back. Reaching out his fingers hooked into the fluffy hem of Izaya's jacket to stop him going away. A part of him knew that this wasn't normal. Something was wrong, something that felt like his bond with the supportive flea would be tested. Ah, he had jinxed it. Hadn't he? Telling Celty his fears and right on the peak of happiness he had once again been pushed off a freaking mountain like a tiny snowball. It happened every time. High school, Izaya, Emi and now he was sick, so sick that it was causing him to lose his strength.

"Shizu-chan? You want me to stay with you?" Pathetically he could feel himself blush his weakened grip trying to convey his feelings. "I'm only going to get a bucket for you. You don't have the strength to get to the toilet do you?" Shizuo closed his eyes letting his fingers straighten out as his grip loosened. His vision blurred as he stared at Izaya's retreating back getting further and further away from him.

"Iz- don't go." Shizuo mumbled through quivering lips. Izaya was already gone leaving him alone in his suffering. Curling into a ball, his arms wrapped around his knees like a small child.

A small finger poked his cheek. Forcing his eyes open concerned crimson blinked back at him. "Mama, does it hurt? I don't like it when you're sad." His daughter's hand rested on his cheek. "Dada will make you better."

"Emi, leave your mummy to rest." A soft clunk sounded the bucket placed on the floor. "Go and play, I'll make your dinner shortly."

"Yes dada." Hurried footsteps padded along the carpet as his daughter left the room. Shizuo jolted a hand resting on his head.

"I'm not going anywhere, Shizu-chan." His lover soothed gently stroking his hair. "Try and get some sleep." The bed dipped again Izaya taking his former seat. Shizuo smiled softly letting his consciousness drift.

x-x-x

It wasn't that dark when the blond awoke from his slumber. Slowly pushing himself up he caught sight of the single light shining in the room. Izaya's laptop. "Shizu-chan? How are you feeling?" So he hadn't been abandoned.

"Better. How long was I asleep?" The blond asked covering a yawn.

"It's half six. Only a few hours. Are you hungry? I made you dinner too." Shizuo shrugged feeling empty. "I called Shiki-san to say you were sick." Izaya informed him. "Shinra will be over as soon as he's done with his operation."

"Operation? For Celty's sake I don't want to know."

"Ah that's right you two confide everything to each other." The light on the laptop dimmed as it went into hibernation. "I'll reheat your dinner. Emi is still up. There was this animated film she was watching. The synopsis said it will be finished at seven o'clock."

"...right. I'll-"

"Stay in bed." Izaya finished for him. Shaking his head lightly Shizuo slipped from the bed seeing that he was in his boxers. Any excuse for his lover to undress him.

"I feel-" Shizuo sighed the door closing behind Izaya. "-fine." Laying back against his pillows The blond looked up at the ceiling. Whatever had wiped him out had already passed. Since Izaya had already called into his work the blond would stay at home but staying in bed when he didn't need to be was out of the question.

Slipping from the bed Shizuo stood making his way over to the dresser. Digging out a pair of navy lounge pants and a warm black sweatshirt, the blond pulled them on wriggling his toes as he thought about whether to wear socks or not. Deciding his feet were warm enough he left the bedroom blinking at the bright animation Emi had her eyes glued to.

Not so much though that his daughter didn't recognise he had entered the room. Her beautiful crimson orbs widened, a small worried smile aimed at him. "Mama." Shizuo stood by his decision to not stay in bed. Small hands patted the soft cushion at the back of the cuddle couch.

Crawling to the back Shizuo sat propped up by the cushions. Emi grinned sitting in his lap where the blond's arms held her close. "Mama..."

"Yes sweetie?" Shizuo smiled waiting for another awkward question. His gaze flicked to the kitchen where his lover was oblivious to him disobeying. That was until Emi's head rested on his belly.

"Is there a baby in your tummy?" She asked quietly. "Dada said you would get sick if you had another baby." Was that what she thought? Shizuo blinked in shock surprised that Emi had remembered a conversation from weeks ago.

"No." The blond reassured her. "I'm not pregnant. Don't worry I won't get sick." Shizuo smiled curling a lock of hair around his finger.

"O-okay. Then when can I have a pet that you and dada promised?"

"Shizu-chan. What are you doing out of bed?" Izaya grumbled from the kitchen door. Ignoring his lover Shizuo instead answered his daughter's question.

"Why don't we go to the pet shop on Saturday?"

"Do you think you should be making such promises?" The flea chipped in perching himself on the back of the cuddle couch. Shizuo shrugged hugging Emi to him.

"It'll be fine. If not you can take her. We did promise a pet."

"Fine fine. Emi, what pet do you want?" Izaya asked falling over the back of the couch and landing next to him. Shizuo glared at him tiredly wondering why he didn't just skip around the front like he usually did.

"A snake." Both him and his lover blinked not expecting the answer.

"A snake? Don't you want something cuter?"

"I want a long green snake to take to school." Emi pouted folding her arms in a huff. Shizuo slumped feeling another headache coming on. Massaging his knuckles against the corner of his forehead the blond shuffled forward.

"Hm, I think I need to go lay back down." He said quietly. Unfortunately Izaya was wise to him trying to find an escape.

"You still feel bad, Shizu-chan? You look better. It's boring being on your own, stay out here with us." Those sharp crimson orbs glittered with amusement.

"Right." The blond sighed moving back amongst the cushions. Emi settled back into his lap whilst Izaya settled for curling up next to him hugging his arm. "Aren't you watching your cartoon?"

"It's an anime ova, mama not a cartoon. I've already seen this one. She gets her powers back and transforms into a magic girl to stop the bad guy." Their daughter explained proudly.

"Then why am I letting you stay up late?" The raven asked not quite pulling off the innocent look. It was enough for Emi though who gulped turning back around to watch the screen.

"I- it was the first one I watched. This one is the-second one." The remote control was in Izaya's hands the small TV guide appearing at the bottom.

"It's not good to tell lies, Emi." Izaya scolded even if he was trying to hide a smile.

"Flea, did you reheat my dinner?" Shizuo asked ending the raven's little game. Emi was still a child with much to learn.

x-x-x

Nine o'clock came and the pair of them sat waiting anxiously for Shinra. Well Izaya more than him since his lover was wearing a hole into the carpet with his pacing back and fourth. "Cut it out. I already said I was fine." Shizuo yawned feeling tired.

"Where is he? How long does an operation take?" The flea grumbled checking his phone. "Celty isn't picking up either." Shizuo didn't want to be the one risking his lover's ire by mentioning his best friend couldn't speak so it was pretty pointless to call her.

Sharp crimson fixated on his own phone as he slipped it from his pocket. "Is that Celty?" Shizuo glanced at the screen covering another yawn.

"No. Kururi asking if I'm okay." Izaya's mood only seemed to darken.

"Shouldn't she be busy working and not bothering you?" The flea grumbled. Deciding enough was enough and that he couldn't watch Izaya pace back and forth, Shizuo slipped the phone back in his pocket tugging the irritable flea over to him.

"Because I'm not there they have to work harder." The blond simply said pulling Izaya into his lap.

Izaya scowled folding his arms with the phone screen still poking out. "A little hard work never killed anyone." Shizuo sighed shuffling back against the cushions.

"And if it was Vorona or Kururi that were off and I had to cover them?" Shizuo asked already knowing the answer.

"They should stop being so selfish and look after themselves better." His lover was bias and jealous. "Where is Shinra?" Shizuo shrugged.

"I don't know. Come on, flea there's always tomorrow. Let's go to bed." He could see Izaya struggling with himself. They both knew that something was wrong. "By the way we are not getting a snake." Shizuo continued the conversation from earlier. "I already have you."

Pushing the raven from his lap the blond got up heading back to the bedroom. "Are you calling me a snake, Shizu-chan?" Tilting his head to the right As if thinking about it, Shizuo nodded.

"Well you are slippery and slimy."

"You do realise snakes aren't slippery or slimy, protozoan? Emi looks dead set on getting one." Izaya sighed wrapping his arms around his middle. "You know what will happen if she doesn't get what she wants. Our little princess will have a temper tantrum."

Shizuo groaned flopping down on the bed with Izaya still attached. "I know. I thought she would want a puppy or something."

"Why even bring the subject up again? She would've forgotten- eventually." Shooting a glare at his lover Shizuo knew that like Izaya his daughter wouldn't have forgotten.

"She asked if I was pregnant. She remembered what you said about me being sick." Crimson orbs narrowed momentarily.

"That's not possible. I made sure it wouldn't happen again." Izaya said slowly all jokiness aside. The raven joined him at the top of the bed. "Don't worry, Shizu-chan. That's the one thing we can rule out."

"Yeah, I know. I'm going to get some sleep." Burrowing under the covers the blond turned on his side feeling a tickle against back. Glancing over his shoulder he could see Izaya drawing patterns with his finger. "What are you doing?"

His lover began to hum annoyingly. "I'm distracting myself."

"Why?" His back felt warm as Izaya pressed against him.

"Because my snake wants to enter your cave." Came the sultry purr. Shizuo groaned shaking his head.

"I should have expected that. That was awful. How long were you waiting for that one?" The blond dead panned feeling something else press into his lower back.

"Mm, really protozoan you're no fun. I have no one else to tease other than you."

"You have your employees. Besides I don't have the energy to do anything...strenuous." Shizuo muttered softly. Izaya's fingers danced along his side toying with the hem of his sweatshirt.

"I'll be gentle." Opening his mouth to say no and swat the touchy pest away, his fingers twitched as he was guiltily reminded of what Izaya had done. Slowly rolling over his hand lifted gently cupping the raven's cheek kissing him chastely.

x-x-x

Shizuo woke up exhausted feeling like he hadn't had a wink of sleep. Thinking that it was better not to say anything the blond rolled from the bed slowly sitting up. His head spun as he stood up too quickly staggering back.

His second attempt went much better. Glancing down at his attire he wondered when Izaya had redressed him. Not really caring too much about it the blond left the bedroom hearing his lover whistling in the kitchen and his daughter sitting on the cuddle couch watching television.

"Good morning, mama. Dada said I could watch TV as long as I was ready for school and didn't wake you." Shizuo scratched his head going into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Shizu-chan." Izaya smiled looking refreshed. "How are you feeling today? Shinra's patient was touch and go so he was under observation all night. I made pancakes for breakfast and a smoothie."

Shizuo blinked taking the plate with two folded crispy pancakes drizzled with cream and freshly cut strawberries along with a large glass with a pinkish hue. "It's strawberry and banana." Izaya supplied reading his mind. "It's healthy." Which meant his lover thought he was eating too much cakes again. Placing them both on the table Shizuo took a seat dubiously poking at his thick smoothie with a straw.

With an experimental sip he decided that actually despite the colour it did taste good. "Told you so." The raven smiled sitting opposite him nursing a steaming mug of strong blend coffee. Shizuo wrinkled his nose the smell bothering him now as much as cigarette smoke did.

"Mm." He reluctantly agreed taking another sip. A brief moment of silence fell between them. Today would be his first driving lesson which was where he would be headed straight after taking Emi to school.

"Make sure to see Shinra when you have a chance." Izaya spoke over his coffee. "Call me after your driving lesson." Shizuo gulped coughing as his smoothie went down the wrong way. Immediately his lover was there patting his back. "I have to get to work." With a peck on the cheek the raven was gone leaving an empty cup on the table.

x-x-x

It wasn't that Shizuo forgot his promise, Izaya had said when he had time. Which was why after dropping Emi off he apologised to Celty for cancelling their morning break together. Admittedly he should've just cancelled since he wasn't feeling one hundred percent- hell he wasn't even feeling half of that.

His stomach kept twisting in a way that made him want to smash everything in the house and curl up in a ball with a hot water bottle clutched to his belly. Instead Shizuo sat on he sofa waiting for the moment to pass. When that didn't work he made a quick dash to the toilet. There and then he should have called Shinra to get a check up.

x-x-x

Visiting new places was always a problem for the bottle blond, meeting new people made him anxious reverting back to his original defensive attitude. Dressed in his bartender uniform with the fingerless leather gloves, tinted shades and the unlit cigarette that made him look like he was up to trouble, Shizuo took a step forward the asphalt crunching under his boots.

The place screamed education sending a chill down his spine. It was school all over again. Seeing the cars with learner plates made his stomach turn as his thoughts tumbled trying to remember the high way code. Sipping at the bottle of water he had brought with him Shizuo headed straight for the automatic doors.

The place was quite small. A single red oval desk sat in the corner with a middle age woman sitting behind it. Opposite her was a small television with some driving program on. Along the sides were some uncomfortable looking plastic green chairs. Other than that there were booklets and discs for driving theory.

"Name?" The woman asked clearing her throat.

"H- Orihara Shizuo." The blond reminded himself. Behind the desk there was a rustling of paper.

"Here you are. You're early. Fill in this form and your instructor should be with you shortly." Shizuo didn't smile back. Taking the form and a pen from the pot he walked over to take a seat on the chair closest to the exit. Feeling his phone vibrate Shizuo slipped the phone from his pocket.

_Good luck. Izaya x. _That single text made him smile reminding him that he wasn't alone. "Idiot." Shizuo muttered to himself. With his mood brightened he set pen to paper filling in his details.

x-x-x

"Heiwajima Shizuo? I'll be your driving instructor." Came a voice like caramel. Shizuo slowly stood trying to keep his eyes on the woman's dark honey eyes. The woman without a doubt was beautiful. It was hard to tell what her age was, whether she was that young or if she had a baby face.

He estimated she was about a foot shorter than him made up for by the over the knee boots with a thin sharp heel she was wearing. A short black pencil skirt cut off just below her knee, a white kimono shirt wrapped around her thin waist tightening around her bulging chest, the top of her lacy bra peeking out.

Her foundation was natural, red lips shimmering and eyes smoky. Shizuo cursed inwardly at the fact he could tell how much make-up a woman was wearing. Clearly his past practices to get it right had finally jammed in his head. "Orihara-san? I said I'm your instructor Tanaka Yumi. Welcome to our driving school." The woman continued taking the form from him. "If you'll follow me we'll get started." Shizuo toyed with the cigarette as the woman whatever her name was walked slowly in front of him tossing her long raven tresses back.

Behind the small building was what he could only describe as a small race track with a ton of orange cones placed. "This will be the car I'll teach you in." The woman smiled running her fingers along the navy body of the small four seater. "All our cars are reliable and are regularly tested if you're worried about that."

Shizuo paused placing his hand on the handle. Taking a deep breath he climbed into the drivers' seat for the first time looking over the steering wheel. A heavy weight settled on his shoulders as the other door opened. If he messed up it wasn't just himself he would put at risk, his instructor was oblivious to his inner turmoil.

x-x-x

When his lover came home for lunch Shizuo was sitting miserably on the cuddle couch his cheque book thrown haphazardly on the table along with his keys. "You didn't call me." Izaya pointed out slowing as he reached the sofa. "How did it go?"

Shizuo jammed another cream cake into his mouth, one of five that he had bought from the nearest bakery. "About as well as I thought it would." The thought of talking about what had happened made him sick to his stomach.

The raven plopped down next to him with a questioning gaze. "What happened this time?" Not what did you do? Shizuo noticed his lover picking his words carefully. "What's this?" Came a playful tone with a sharp lilt. Glancing down at his sleeve he groaned seeing the perfect white was stained with a ruby blush.

"Damn it." The blond cursed getting up and striding into the kitchen. Another shirt ruined because of some woman's make-up.

"Is that lipstick? How did you get lipstick on you? Izaya asked refusing to let go of his sleeve.

"Dunno, must have been when my instructor leaned too close." Shrugging it off Shizuo began to unbutton his vest tugging his arm free. The shirt went straight into the wash being more concerned whether he had another one to wear.

"Leaned too close? Who's your instructor?" Shizuo looked behind him wondering why the flea was so interested in a woman he had just met.

"Can't remember her name." The blond muttered scratching the back of his head. "Damn it." His fist came down softly like a hammer stopping before he hit the closet. "Why don't I have any left?"

"Didn't you wash them yesterday? Have you checked the dryer?"

"Oh. I left them in there to iron." Shizuo realised. "I paid for repairs to the car." He added quietly. His foot had been too heavy on the pedal hearing it crack, the handbrake has come off in his hand. Not to mention the mirror had been left dangling after his strength had again glitched. His lover sighed saying nothing. The blond was thankful for it pulling on another sweatshirt.

"Are you going to give up?" Izaya asked stepping in close. "I'll teach you how to handle a car." With that he knew the flea would have a more hands on approach to teaching him. Shizuo gave his lover a dubious look. "What you don't trust me?"

"So you're not going to tease me with sexual innuendos?" His lover leaned against him one arm wrapping around his waist.

"Shizu-chan, I'm hurt you would think that." The gleam in Izaya's eye was still there. "Now care to explain this woman?" Shaking his head at the ridiculousness of the situation, the blond pulled the jealous flea in for a kiss.

Next:- Unexpected surprises


	13. Unexpected surprises

**Unexpected surprises**

_Dear diary,_

_My first driving lesson was a failure. Anything that could have gone wrong did. My instructor seemed to be in a world of her own too interested with whatever she had her mind on. I knew it would be a mess. Getting acquainted with the car destroyed it. The woman didn't believe that I had done the damage. To her I was a normal guy that didn't look like they had a lot of muscle. For a few special moments I liked it, being seen normal by someone felt great. _

_But I knew someone else would've got the blame and confessed. A demonstration had been in order because she still laughed. The wreckage of the car is what I had chosen to lift. I could hear my instructors sharp intake of breath as she stepped back precariously balancing on her heels, the word monster was nothing new. _

_The vehicle hit it's parking space pretty hard when my strength glitched and the damn thing nearly crushed me. I left out that part when I explained everything to Izaya as well as being sick again. I left the cheque on the reception counter before leaving as quickly as I could. _

_I don't know what I was thinking trying to learn something normal humans can do. I should've known it wouldn't work out, it never does. Sure the flea has offered to teach me personally but that's just another car ready for the scrap yard and Izaya loves his car. Everything is modified to perfection on it. Well I guess it's time to stop feeling sorry for myself and go pick up Emi. Hopefully she's had a better day than me. I should probably go and see Shinra as well. _

Shizuo sighed closing the diary and tucking it back within the locked box where Izaya continued to keep his promise never to look inside. Stretching his long legs the blond slowly stood waiting for the room to stop spinning. Throwing one hand to his stomach he barely made it to the toilet.

This wasn't how it was supposed to have been. Why now of all times was he getting sick? _Mama, are you pregnant? _His daughter's words resurfaced in his mind. If he had to compare this to anything he would say it was morning sickness but Izaya wouldn't have let that happen, not again. The flea had put precautions in place to make sure it wouldn't. So then what the hell was wrong with him? wiping his mouth Shizuo let go of the bowel trying to calm himself down. Right now he had to go pick up Emi. Anything else could wait a little longer.

His mind changed as soon as fresh air hit him sending him reeling. Instead of walking Shizuo called a cab to take him to the school. Whilst he was waiting the blond sat down on the cold brick doorstep trying to reach a state where Emi wouldn't panic and call Izaya again. That was the last thing he needed.

It wasn't that he doubted his lover, it was just a thought that planted itself in his mind. The symptoms were exactly the same, well maybe a little worse. Shizuo found himself barely able to stand. Checking his phone he knew there was still time until the bell rang dismissing last classes.

x-x-x

Shizuo exited the cab telling the driver to wait. Closing the door he tried not to think as he took a deep breath walking into the pharmacy. Since the last time he had been there the store stock had been rearranged. This time he was a lot calmer about the whole situation or maybe that was because this time he didn't have the energy to panic.

Glancing left and right the blond skimmed the shelves for what he needed. Conveniently the pregnancy tests were stocked up next to the lubricant and condoms. Next to that was pads and tampons leading into another aisle full of baby diapers. The irony of that made him smile momentarily before he fell forward staggering.

"Damn it." Shizuo cursed picking up a digital pregnancy test. Since he was here he added some candy floss flavoured lubricant and flesh feel condoms. Rather than normal or ribbed Shizuo preferred the feel of his lover inside him. Cursing that he was thinking about sex again, the blond picked up a pack of his pads heading straight for the counter.

Hands stuffed in his pockets he waited as each item was scanned with a soft beep, the tinted glasses helped block his gaze. Behind the counter the young male coughed drawing his attention. handing over the money Shizuo took his change leaving the store where his cab was waiting.

x-x-x

Emi was happy not to walk hopping in the back seat next to him. Already the flap to her school bag was open as small hands dug trough the contents excitedly. "Look mama, Fuse-sensei gave me a gold star." Shizuo smiled softly ruffling his daughter's hair.

"Well done." It looked like she had a good day. soon his hands were full with the pieces of Emi's work. "What's this one?" He asked quietly holding the painting up. His daughter pouted crossing her arms in a huff.

"You know who it is mama. That's Shiki-san, Akabayashi-san..." One by one the different colours were pointed out. Shizuo held his tongue afraid to ask what else she had been telling her teacher. "Hey mama, can we have pizza today? Pleeeease?"

Shizuo relented texting Izaya that he would be ordering takeaway. The healthy flea wouldn't take it too well complaining about fat and grease amongst other things. "Sure."

"Yay. Thank you." His stomach churned again as his middle was squeezed in a hug. "Did you go shopping?" Emi asked curiously reaching for the plastic bag. Shizuo quickly took it out of reach.

"Nothing for you. Put all your work back in your bag. We'll be home soon." His hand clenched onto the plastic handle squeezing hard. Again there was that draining feeling his eyes momentarily slipping closed. Jabbing his nails into his palm to keep himself awake, Shizuo sighed pressing his knuckles against the awakening headache.

x-x-x

The bag was left in the downstairs bathroom where he could get it later. Emi was already on the sofa pawing over the numerous takeaway menus spread across the coffee table. "I thought you wanted Pizza?"

"I do. I'm just looking. Mama are we going to the pet shop tomorrow? I want this one!" Shizuo walked over to the sofa taking the menu. "Can I have a pony?"

"I thought you wanted a snake?" The blond muttered looking for a pen to jot down their order.

"I changed my mind. I want a pony."

"Where are we supposed to keep a pony?" Shizuo took a seat before he fell down. Emi blinked lowering her head for a moment. Her head shot up almost immediately a huge smile on her face.

"The garden." The blond groaned dropping his head in his hands. "What about a monkey? Fuse-sensei showed us a book on animals. Can we go to the zoo?" Shizuo sighed catching the squirming girl in his arms. Of course it was something she had just seen. Just like her father she wanted everything.

"Why don't we start off at the pet shop?" Reaching for the remote he turned the television on flicking through the channels. "Ah I should order our pizza." Shizuo realised placing the control back down on the table. He didn't think Emi would mind watching an animal rescue program until he got back.

x-x-x

When he got back Emi was glued to the screen. "Mama, I want a dog. Look at him he's so small." Shizuo sat back down seeing the two puppies playing together. "I want that one too."

"Don't get too close to the TV." Shizuo warned as the indecisive child moved closer now sitting on the floor. Emi nodded absent-mindedly still staring transfixed at the litter of tiny kittens being lifted from a cardboard box.

"Mama. Why were they abandoned? Didn't their owner love them any more?" Shizuo swallowed. The subject was a sore one for him.

x-x-x

Between the two of them they managed to eat a whole pizza. Emi leaving the crusts in the box. The young girl reached for the big bottle of coke which Shizuo lifted twisting the cap. The dark liquid was slowly poured into a small plastic cup. Filling it halfway the blond screwed the cap back on.

"Shizu-chan, Emi! I'm home." Izaya loudly announced looking happy. His nose twitched momentarily at the smell of pizza. "How are my two favourites doing?" Shizuo found himself in the raven's arms as his lover vaulted over the cuddle couch tackling the pair of them. "What are you watching?"

"Channel hopping." Was his reply as he was subjected to a kiss on the cheek. Next to him Emi blanched her small hands pushing Izaya away.

"Dada. You smell." Sure enough Izaya reeked of sushi informing him that his lover had already eaten. The flea though mock gasped covering his mouth with his hand.

"That's mean. Shizu-chan, our daughter is being mean to me." Izaya complained nuzzling against his throat.

"She has a point. What did you do, dive into the fish bar? Go take a bath." Coffee orbs widened realising where he had just told Izaya to go. "No! I'll run the bath." Crimson orbs eyed him suspiciously. "Emi, tell your father what pet you want." Detaching the raven from him Shizuo got up heading for the bathroom.

The pharmacy bag he moved to the bedroom hiding it under the bed. There wasn't any time to do the test now, it could wait. "What did you do?" Izaya asked stepping into the bathroom. Shizuo glanced up at him hand on the tap.

"What are you talking about?" Hot water began to fill the bath.

"Emi wanted a snake and now she wants a puppy. How did you manage to pull that one off?"

Shizuo shrugged. "Before that she wanted a pony. She's still a child influenced by what she sees. Since you're here you can run your bath, I'll make the drinks." Slowly standing he hoped the strain didn't show on his face.

A hand clasped around his wrist as he went to leave. "You didn't go and see Shinra." Meaning the pair of them had spoken.

"I didn't have time. I'll go tomorrow after we get a pet for Emi."

"Shizu-chan..."

"I'm fine, Izaya." Blood rushed to his ears his heart pounding within his chest getting louder and louder. The raven's words were like a shot gun.

"You're lying, Shizu-chan." Again his lover had read him knowing he was telling a lie. Damn it what were his tells again? Tugging his sleeve a little more harshly than necessary Shizuo walked away. His footsteps paused glancing at the television screen then back to his young daughter who slowly turned around with a smile pointing at the screen.

"Mama, I changed my mind. I want a panda." Shizuo felt his back bump softly against the wall a tired groan escaping. From the bathroom he could hear Izaya chuckle.

x-x-x

Luckily he didn't get sent home from work. Vorona and Kururi covered for him holding down the fort whilst he rested in the back room. His health was becoming a problem. Shiki already knew that much was certain when the older man gave him a lift back home. Apart from that nothing was said.

No he knew the yakuza would advise Izaya when the pair next saw each other instead. Something needed to be done. When he had a spare moment he would take the damn test and if that was definitely negative then he would see Shinra.

Closing the door The blond stumbled through the dark leaving a trail of clothes on the bedroom floor his hand reaching out blindly to feel the soft bounciness of the mattress. Crawling into bed Shizuo collapsed back feeling drained out like a light within seconds.

x-x-x

Saturday morning and Shizuo felt awful. This time it wasn't so much his stomach, this time it was walking into the pet shop where children were running around. It wasn't empty and quiet as he had hoped. "Mama." Emi said quietly tugging at his pant leg. "Carry me."

The slim hand on his shoulder retracted. Shizuo's lips quirked into a small grateful smile as he lifted his daughter into his arms. Small arms wrapped around his neck refusing to let go. "What do you want to look at first?"

"Everything. That one." Carrying his daughter over to the cage he was forced to crouch down as they watched the small balls of fluff dash around the cage, a couple were curled up in the corner fast asleep and one was whizzing around the wheel.

Shizuo's nose twitched at the smell his gaze dropping to where sawdust was being knocked from the cage. The little creatures looked fragile. Knowing he would be the one taking care of them the blond shook his head. "Too small."

"Messy too." Izaya added. Hamsters were out. So were the guinea pigs even though they were a lot bigger. "Look sweetie, it's a rabbit." Sure enough the next one along was a small fluffy white bunny with dark eyes. Shizuo glanced down trying to gauge his daughter's reaction.

"Maybe. I want to see everything else." With a small nod Shizuo slowly stood clasping Emi tighter before almost dropping her. His strength was failing again. "Look mama, dada a snake."

x-x-x

They had been around the entire pet shop and seen everything. Now it was a choice between an adorable beagle puppy that looked dopey it's long ears flopped over its big eyes. Shizuo fell in love with it as soon as he set eyes on the small creature. Izaya was more for the tiny tabby kitten with big dark eyes peering up at them. whilst Emi he knew was eyeing the small bunny.

"Emi it's your choice. You can only have one. Our house won't become a petting zoo." Shizuo felt his heart melt the puppy staring up at him. Their little girl looked puzzled looking between the three animals.

"They all look cute. Can't I have them all?" The flea was firm shaking his head. "Then I want that one." Shizuo sighed quietly in disappointment. It looked like the puppy would be staying in the shop waiting for someone else to buy him. Izaya's excitement only increased as the pair took off to buy cat toys.

Knowing he was about to throw up Shizuo excused himself taking Izaya's keys. Hurrying from the store and into the Parking lot the blond groaned doubling over dry retching. Slowly straightening himself up he pressed the button on the key fob hearing the familiar beep.

Sliding into the back seat Shizuo groaned head between his legs wishing that he would just pass out. The nausea was getting worse, the headache a pounding nuisance against his skull. Laying down Shizuo curled up laying across the back seat feeling his consciousness slip.

x-x-x

"...sleep?" Shizuo blinked lifting his head in confusion." The back door was open Izaya and Emi standing outside the car. "Mama, we're done now."

"Everything okay, Shizu-chan?" Had he fallen asleep? If so, for how long?

"Mm? Yeah, guess I got tired of waiting. Did you get everything?" Covering a yawn he pulled himself up shifting over to let Emi climb in.

"Yeah, I've put everything in the boot. Hold this." Izaya held out a pet carrier. Shizuo sighed taking the handle. The thing rested on his lap whilst he pulled the seatbelt across his shoulder. "Emi, seatbelt." A second click could be heard. His eyes narrowed when a second pet carrier was placed on his daughter's lap.

The door slammed leaving him to peek curiously into the pet carrier he was holding since rustling could be heard from the one his daughter was cooing at. Coffee orbs widened incredulously seeing a dark shape cowering at the back of the carrier. "...Izaya." The blond said slowly.

"Yes, Shizu-chan?" Gently tilting the carrier earned him a panicked yelp.

"What did you do?" It wasn't his lover that answered.

"Dada brought the kitty and the puppy." Emi beamed wrapping her arms around the carrier. Sure enough he could make out the long ears. He shouldn't have left the pair of them alone. It was then that things like this happened.

"Don't look like that, Shizu-chan." Glancing up he met Izaya's gaze in the small mirror. "Both of them belong to Emi, you'll look after the puppy and I'll take the kitten to work with me."

Glancing to the right he could see Emi looking between them expectantly. Shaking his head Shizuo rested back against the seat head against the window. And so there were two new additions to the Orihara family.

x-x-x

"Mama, what's wrong?" Everything needed for their new pets were in bags by the front door. The two pet carriers were on the carpet, Izaya unlocking the plastic doors. Emi stood excited waiting for the kitten and puppy to step from their carriers.

"They're just shy. This is all new for them." Shizuo said quietly not wanting to startle the two young animals. Pulling his daughter into his lap the pair sat eyes on the open pet carriers.

"We'll be here for hours." Izaya sighed. Shizuo glared at him watching as his lover tilted the pet carrier. Inside the kitten panicked clawing at the plastic trying to hold on. "Come on. Out you come." The ball of fluff quivered on the carpet.

"Flea!" Shizuo warned his heart going out to the frightened kitten. A single soft bark drew his attention to the other pet carrier where the puppy was taking its first steps. The blond held his breath waiting for the fighting to begin. They had after all brought a kitten and a puppy.

What he didn't expect was the puppy to pad up to the kitten and give it a long lick. "Look mama, they like each other." Shizuo avoided Izaya's smug gaze.

"The pet shop owner said they were born around the same time. I couldn't split apart the two friends, could I?" Shizuo raised a doubtful brow.

"So it's a coincidence that the puppy I wanted and the kitten you wanted like each other?" he had to admit though that they were adorable snuggled up against each other.

"I wanted both of them. Aren't cats and dogs supposed to hate each other?" Emi asked quietly a finger pressed against get lips.

"Not always." Izaya explained using more pointless information from that big brain of his. "Shizu-chan why don't you try first?"

"Why don't we leave them to get used to their surroundings first?" Shizuo muttered not wanting to hurt either animal. his lover though wasn't going to wait.

"They need a little push." Of course they did. That was the damn god complexed flea's way of handling everything.

"I'll do it." Emi chimed shushing herself after speaking. Shizuo shook his head fearful that if she got too close then the pair would scratch or bite her. With a sigh the blond lifted Emi from his lap slowly scooting over to where the two animals were huddled.

The puppy was the first to raise its head peering at him with those big dark eyes. Shizuo slowly reached out feeling both his husband and daughter staring at him. A wet nose brushed against his palm the puppy curiously sniffing at him. Keeping still he let the small animal nose his wrist. Slowly it stepped from the kitten, padding up to him and flicking a small tongue out in an experimental lick.

"I think he likes you, Shizu-chan." Sure enough the puppy lifted its front paws resting against his crossed legs. Shizuo jumped as the small creature scrambled up sharp nails digging into his thighs, back legs flailing as it toppled over. A sharp bark met his ears. "Oops. It's just as clumsy as you."

The puppy though seemed to be just fine nuzzling against the inside of his leg. Now the kitten poked it's head up looking around for his friend. The tabby teetered over pawing at his leg showing none of the fear from before. "Looks like they like you." Shizuo slowly held out a finger gently touching the soft fur.

"Mama, I want to touch them." His daughter crawled to his side reaching out. The kitten meowed softly taking hesitant steps into her small hands. "Hehe. Look mama, he likes me." A soft click made him look up glaring at Izaya who was holding a phone in his hand. He would have to delete the picture later before it ended up in another photo album.

x-x-x

The pets were a great idea, Shizuo couldn't fault Izaya for buying both of them. Their daughter was the happiest he had ever seen her. More so than when they had got her a large cake for her birthday last year and covered the house in balloons so it looked like an overgrown ball pit.

Unfortunately for the blond he had to take himself away from the scene, crawling back into the bed. Both Izaya and Emi were caught up trying to name the new additions to their family. His daughter wasn't too good at naming so if she had her way yet would likely end up being called kuro and shiro or something along those lines.

His thoughts went back to hidden package under the bed. Izaya was busy was it best to do it now just to get it over with? A loud thud made him jump, laughter echoed outside. "So clumsy Shi-chan." Shizuo groaned attempting to sit up. Shi-chan?

"Iz-" his vision blurred and the blond felt himself fall back unable to stop as his back hit the soft mattress everything fading to black.

x-x-x

Shizuo groaned feeling his shoulder shake. Opening his eyes he could see Izaya above shaking him vigorously. "Shizu-chan! Shizu-chan!"

"What?" The blond mumbled tiredly. Looking around the room he could see it was dark.

"I've been trying to wake you for ages. Shinra is on his way." Ages? what time was it? He hadn't been asleep that long had he? "I've already called Shiki-san. Why didn't you tell me you spent your entire shift sleeping? What were you thinking, protozoan?" Izaya hissed holding his shoulders down.

"It wasn't anything to worry about." Shizuo flinched feeling the surrounding air grow icy, Izaya's eyes darkening. "I'm not normal, flea. A few black outs isn't tha-"

"You fainted? Damn it protozoan!" A loud bark sounded on the floor. "Quiet Shi-chan." If the puppy was in the room with them then that meant the kitten was too. Shizuo jumped realising what the rustling under the bed was. "What are you doing now?" The raven backed away bending down to reach for the kitten.

"...Izaya." Shizuo murmured hearing the rustling get louder.

"Plastic bags are dangerous for little kitties. Out you come. Ne, Shizu-chan. I think this belongs to y- eh?" Of course he would find it. He should've known that. Nothing could be hidden from the raven. The kitten was left on the bed, Izaya holding the open bag in one hand slowly bringing out the pregnancy test. "What is this?" Shizuo said nothing sitting up to take it back. "So you doubt me. You think I would put you in danger again?"

"No, I -"

"Then why would you buy this?" He could see Izaya was angry and maybe a little hurt. "Fine. Don't answer. If you think you might be pregnant take the test." Shizuo groaned as the small stick was thrust in front of his face. "Go on. Take it."

"Iz-"

"I said take the damn test!" Izaya rose his voice startling the kitten that scrambled under the covers. Taking the test Shizuo steeled himself slipping from the bed. He could feel his lover's gaze burning against his back. Stepping into the bathroom he went to close the door finding Izaya holding the door open.

"You're the one who wants me to take the test." Shizuo argued wanting some privacy.

"Get on with it." The raven smirked bitterly leaning against the door frame. The blond looked at his lover incredulously. "Shizu-chan, how hard is it to pee on a stick?"

"I can't go with you watching." Shizuo snapped quickly covering his mouth remembering that it was late and his daughter was fast asleep. Right now though Izaya was in an obnoxious mood. "Izaya, please."

The raven pushed away from the door turning around. "I'm waiting protozoan." And that was the best he was going to get. Fuck he hated it when Izaya was like this.

x-x-x

"Thirty seconds left." Izaya announced stroking the kitten in his arms. Shizuo was sitting on the bed holding the little stick in his hand. "Twenty five seconds left."

"This isn't helping, flea." The blond murmured. It was better safe to be sorry, a simple test would rule pregnancy out. To the flea though this was like a betrayal of trust as he had known it would be.

"Twenty seconds." The raven continued. "Shinra should be here soon. Eighteen seconds...seventeen seconds..."

Shizuo grit his teeth keeping his grip on the test loose. "Enough. You know it's not that I don't trust you." Izaya's hand paused mid stroke focusing that cold gaze on him.

"Ooh. It's not? Hm, you did face your fear though to specifically buy it. Why else would you do that...unless you doubted me? Ten seconds...nine..." Shizuo shook his head wishing he had never brought the damn thing. After all the first thing Shinra would check is if he was pregnant. Honestly he shouldn't have wasted the money.

"Flea, I have the same symptoms as morning sickness and I'm losing my strength. If I'm not pregnant then what the hell is wrong with me?" A small beep sounded his gaze dropping to the small oval screen. "Huh?"

"See, like I said not pregnant. You really need to work on your trust, Shizu-chan. If I say I had something done then-" Shizuo held out the test so Izaya could see the screen. _Pregnant. _"Wha-" the test was snatched from his hand. "That can't be right. You must have brought a defective one."

For Shizuo it was clear enough. He was pregnant again. Watching as Izaya dropped the test crushing it under his heel, he could feel the puppy pushing against his back. "...Izaya-"

"That's the door. Shinra will find out what's wrong with you." before he could say another word Izaya left the room closing the bedroom door. With a sigh Shizuo twisted his body lifting the puppy into his arms.

x-x-x

"Well what's wrong with him?" Izaya demanded to know. Shizuo rubbed his arm where his blood had been taken. The illegal doctor had all the samples he needed. Instead of panicking over the results, Shizuo busied himself making up the beds for the two pets.

"I hope you know my beloved is going to want a pet now." Shinra moped tinkering with whatever he had brought with him.

"Shinra. I could care less about Celty-san or Aiko-chan right now. What is wrong with Shizu-chan?" Izaya snapped. Shizuo quickly took the kitten away leaving it to snuggle with the puppy. Both of them had their own beds but it looked like they would be sharing the bigger one.

"I can confirm that Shizuo is pregnant." Shinra said slowly. Shizuo felt sorry for him feeling the tension in the room. The puppy whined nuzzling his leg.

"That's not possible." Izaya repeated. Both the test and Shinra had confirmed it. He was pregnant. Shizuo gently rested one hand on his stomach. Strangely enough it wasn't that much of a shock to his mentality this time around. It was obvious what had happened. The vasectomy hadn't worked... But why then had the symptoms started long before that? "We only did it recently and Shizu-chan has been feeling sick for a while."

"Shizuo is three weeks along." Shizuo's head snapped up in shock. That couldn't be the last time before a few days ago the last time they had sex using his female entrance was when Emi was conceived.

"...three weeks?" Izaya muttered. Shizuo knew he was thinking the same thing. "That's impossible." Shinra shook his head.

"I'm more concerned about your levels, Shizuo. your blood sugar is too low, the same with your blood pressure. You're dehydrated and with the fainting I think you have Hyperemesis gravidarum. If it gets any worse you'll need to be checked into hospital."

Shizuo blinked trying to absorb the information. "Hyper what?" Izaya waved the question away.

"Shinra, you're sure Shizu-chan is pregnant?" He could hear the dangerous edge in Izaya's voice, his lover refusing to look at him.

"The tests don't lie. Now about your-"

"Then that brings us another question." Now the raven did turn to look at him with a gaze that sent chills through him. Come to think of it the last time he had seen his lover like this was when he had resigned and in retaliation Izaya had taken Emi from him. "Who else have you been sleeping with, Shizu-chan?"

"What?" Shizuo growled offended. Shinra chuckled nervously looking at the door.

"Well if that's all then I'll go back to my be-"

"Hm? Shinra you have to do something about Shizu-chan's... morning sickness." Izaya spat still glaring at him. "Well Shizu-chan? Ah that reminds me I was sick during that time, wasn't I? Who was it?"

Shizuo stood slowly feeling sick to his stomach. "Are you accusing me of cheating on you?" Izaya had made up his mind turning away from him. Shizuo reached out his fingers slapped away as his lover walked away leaving the room. The slamming of the bedroom door continued to sound in his mind long after Izaya had gone.

"...Izaya..." His hand dropped to his side. A hand rested on his shoulder guiding him to the bed.

"Shizuo, you need to rest." Shinra advised. Shizuo sighed letting the doctor do whatever he wanted. The puppy left it's bed making its way to the bed where it sat on its hind legs and barked.

Next:- unwarranted accusations


	14. Unwarranted accusations

**Unwarranted accusations**

_A/N:- Hm, I should probably put some sort of warning here. The next couple of chapters imply non-con but not really...its kinda confusing. Anyways have a read for yourselves and lemme know what ya think. _

x-x-x

"Shizuo, I'll be back in the morning. Are you sure you don't want to take the sedative?" Shaking his head slowly the blond remained sitting on the bed head resting against his knees. "Okay, try and get some sleep."

"I know. Go back home, you don't want Celty to worry." Shinra opened his mouth to say something closing it again. "I'm stable this time." The raven remained in the bedroom. "Leave the sedative on the table." Satisfied with that answer Shinra left the pills on the bedside table.

Shizuo felt nothing as his only medical help left. Somehow he had wound up pregnant and Izaya believed he had cheated. Things couldn't really get much worse. Turning on his side the blond curled into a ball one hand on his stomach the other placed over his heart. There had been no questions he could answer only accusations.

Laying alone in the darkness Shizuo waited for when the bedroom door would open and his lover would reappear telling him he believed him. Glancing at the clock he made a mental note of the time. Time of death for their relationship 9:30pm.

The hours went by the led numbers slow to change. It could be worse he could have an analogue clock irritating him with the tick of every damn second. That night he had been abandoned. Izaya never returned to the bedroom, the right side of the bed cold where it remained untouched.

Shizuo clenched his fists in the covers turning away from the clock. Was Izaya on the sofa or maybe the man was locked away in his office? He wanted to go and look for him but knew if Izaya didn't even want to talk about it then the situation was awful and confronting him would only make it worse. It hurt to know just how little his lover trusted him calling his fidelity into question. Izaya knew he would never cheat on him-he had to. It was one of the things Shizuo hated along with gangs, violence and gambling. The raven was the only one he loved, he wouldn't dream of betraying the man.

A soft whine sounded close by. Shizuo knew it was the puppy sensing the discord between him and Izaya, animals were more sensitive to that sort of thing. Turning away from the clock the blond dropped his arm over the bed letting the puppy nuzzle against his hand. "I'm sorry. This isn't the happy family you wanted." Shizuo murmured smiling sadly. It was already clear that his lover wouldn't be returning to their shared bed. "Go on, go and keep your friend warm."

Unable to take it any longer, Shizuo reached for the pills on the bedside table realising that he had no water to take them with. It was his fault for chasing Shinra out. Attempting to dry swallow them was a bad idea, the blond feeling like something had lodged in his throat. With no other choice he slipped from the bed carefully walking to the door, his head resting against the cool wood. Pathetic. Shizuo grit his teeth ashamed that he was so fearful in opening a damn door. Shaking his head the blond let go of the handle heading for the bathroom instead. Rinsing his mouth Shizuo left the bathroom slipping back into the bed. Closing his eyes he let the pills do their work easing his mind and sending him into a dreamless sleep.

x-x-x

The alarm hadn't been set but that was okay because the puppy wanted to go outside pawing at the door and barking. That answered his question as to whether their new pets were house trained. Sitting up slowly the covers slipped down his torso pooling around his waist.

Shizuo knew Izaya wasn't next to him but he checked anyway his chest aching as he saw the other side of the bed had been untouched. So this was his answer. Shaking his head the blond got out of bed checking the floor in case the kitten was anywhere near him. The small animal was still curled up in the puppy's bed.

Opening the door Shizuo clutched his stomach rushing to the toilet. "Damn it." He cursed one hand on the cold floor, the other resting against the toilet bowl. The puppy barked again trying to catch his attention. "I know. I know." Shizuo muttered rinsing his mouth and hurrying back to the door.

Opening it all the way his gaze skimmed the room. It was empty but somehow he had known it would be. Not even a blanket on the cuddle sofa, which meant Izaya hadn't slept. The raven had been cooped up in his office all night. A short bark had him moving to the kitchen where the boisterous puppy barrelled between his legs heading straight for the back door. Shizuo sighed unlocking the door and letting the small animal out into the garden.

Sunday. It wouldn't be long before Emi would be taken to her grandmother's. The end of the week was his day with Izaya. Well not this time. Maybe he should ask to work a shift or maybe go and see one of his friends. Anything would be better than having to deal with Izaya's temperament and nasty accusations.

Shizuo sighed taking a seat at the kitchen table waiting for the puppy to finish. Damn it, it wasn't fair. Why? How? Everything had been going so well and now this. Why didn't he deserve to be happy? "Damn it." Slamming his fist against the table the sturdy wood remained intact. It looked like he didn't have his strength back yet.

x-x-x

The puppy bound past him scrambling into the bedroom returning back to kitten. Ah. Some cat flaps would need to be put in. It was still early so Emi was still asleep. Quietly walking up the stairs Shizuo tried not to make any noise not wanting the door at the end to open. He was still reeling from Izaya's harsh reaction.

Shizuo smiled seeing the covers half off of the bed, his daughter sprawled out. The blond tilted his head wondering how his little girl has managed to turn herself upside down in her sleep. Walking over to the window Shizuo opened the curtains letting daylight flood in to lighten up the room a bit more.

Turning back to the bed he took a seat on the edge of the bed gently shaking his daughter awake. "Emi, time to wake up." His smile widened when his hand was batted away, a small hand clenched reaching blindly for the covers. "Come on. The animals need feeding."

"Uhn." Emi groaned finally opening her eyes realising the loss of covers. "Good morning, mama. Do you feel better? Dada said you went sleep because you weren't feeling well."

"I'm okay." Shizuo responded with a soft smile. "The puppy is awake."

"Shi-chan is?" Shaking his head the blond sighed.

"You named the puppy Shi-chan?" Emi grinned nodding enthusiastically.

"Yep. The kitty is called Iza-chan." Of course it was. Emi had named the pair after him and Izaya.

"Hm. Don't you want to call them something else?" His daughter crossed her arms pouting. "Okay, they're your pets." Shizuo relented. "They need to be fed." Emi hopped from the bed running from the room. "Be careful!" Shizuo called after her.

x-x-x

It wasn't Kyouko that came to collect Emi. Shizuo let his twin sisters in law in glad that Kururi looked happy, Mairu with an arm draped around her mid section. "Good morning, Shizu-nii." Mairu chimed. It looked like he wasn't hated any more. Her gaze went past him eyes widening. "You got a puppy."

The twins split apart Kururi remained where she was slowly closing the door. Mairu was on her knees fawning over the two new additions. A tap on his shoulder made him face the quieter of the two. "...wrong?"

"Hm? Nothing. You're early, Emi has only just woken up. I didn't expect to see you two." Kururi took a step closer staring at him. The blond blinked when the young woman hugged him earning a glare from Mairu.

"No fair." The other twin hugged him more roughly. "Mum said we should see you guys for once." Mairu informed him turning back to the two pets, this time with Kururi in tow. "This couch is amazing. So big."

At the top of the stairs Shizuo heard the door open. Izaya. His heart pounded painfully as he watched his lover walk down the stairs. Not once did the flea look at him. "I thought it was noisy. What are you two doing here?"

Kururi looked between them and Shizuo knew she could tell something was wrong. Shaking his head she closed her mouth turning back to fuss over the puppy. "Good to see you to, Iza-nii." Mairu smiled sarcastically.

"Emi, why don't you go and get ready." Shizuo stepped in taking his daughter away. He could see Izaya was in a bad mood and with the loud mouthed twin the situation would soon turn volatile.

"...help." Kururi murmured going to follow if not for the flea blocking her path and Mairu holding her wrist. In the bedroom Shizuo could hear his phone ring knowing his sister in law had text him.

"It's fine, Kururi. We'll be down in a minute." Carrying Emi up the stairs he left the three siblings together. "What do you want to wear today?"

"...blue." His daughter smiled happily. Shizuo nodded trying to remember if she owned anything blue. Either way as long as he wasn't thinking about dealing with Izaya he didn't mind.

x-x-x

"Be a good girl." Shizuo smiled hugging his daughter. Emi was already pulling away from him to stand between the twin sisters. Shizuo reached for the puppy and kitten in case they tried to bolt through the door. He could feel Izaya's shadow cast over him.

"I will." His daughter beamed taking Kururi and Mairu's hand. "See you later mama, dada." Scooping up the puppy and kitten, the blond waved slowly standing so his latest dizzy spell wasn't noticed. Turning away he let Izaya say his part.

It felt like he was standing on the starting line of a race waiting for the him to go off. Every muscle in his body was locked and tense not knowing what to expect or what the outcome of another fight would be. His short sleeved shirt and dark jeans could easily be replaced if they ended up cut and torn. The only one capable of making him feel loved was Izaya. The problem though was that love and trust were a double edged blade. With only a few biting his lover could destroy him. Izaya had to know that...or not. Those sharp crimson orbs fixed on him cold in their gaze, freezing him to the core. Still guilty until proven innocent.

The puppy fell silent stilling in his arms though the kitten still struggled to get free, scratching him with non existent claws. Shizuo felt the small creature draw blood paying no attention as he and Izaya continued to stare at each other neither one speaking. There was only one thing he could say and he knew Izaya would flat out reject his plea.

The silence stretched neither one looking away although Shizuo managed to catch a glance of the flea's hands to see if there was anything sharp held within them. It was only in the bad cases that Izaya used his knife. But this time he was pregnant. Surely the raven wouldn't risk harming their child...the child Izaya hadn't yet acknowledged...

Slowly lifting his foot Shizuo took a step back finally remembering how to breathe. Keeping his guard up he gently lowered the two animals to the carpet. A small bead of crimson dripped from his hand where the little kitten had scratched him. Not once did he he let the raven out of his sight.

"…"

"..." Shizuo slowly clenched his fists needing to do something. Izaya still hadn't said a single word continuing to stare at him. In a split second the silence was finally broken. Shizuo felt himself turn green a hand dropping to his stomach, the other clapping over his mouth. Their stand off disrupted, Shizuo ran past his irate lover clutching at the toilet bowl. The two pets left on the floor to run around.

x-x-x

Shizuo trudged from the bathroom miserably staring at his feet. Slowly lowering himself onto the sofa the blond groaned. "Shizu-chan." Head snapping up he looked around the room seeing no sign of his lover. "Stay there, I don't want to hurt you." Behind the sofa. That was where the flea was sitting. "I need to know if you slept with anyone else?"

This again? Shizuo clenched his fists against his jeans a low growl in his throat. "No." Izaya was trying to keep their argument civil avoiding an all out brawl.

Behind him he could hear a sigh. "Tanaka-san, Dotachin, Akabayashi-san, Shiki-san... Which one?" Shizuo grit his teeth his knuckles turning pale under the strain. Grinding his teeth together he turned around shooting a glare at the wall.

"...none of them." Shizuo snapped. "I'm pregnant Izaya. I never cheated on you. Deal with it. The only fucker I have slept with is you!" His stomach disagreed with him raising his voice almost sending him back to the bathroom.

"...Shizu-chan, you cheating on me would be the best answer." Izaya spoke quietly. Shizuo froze turning his head slowly. What? "I've been thinking of every possibility. The only time we could have risked it was our anniversary. I haven't touched you there since Emi was conceived." Shizuo blinked hearing the emotionless tone. Of course Izaya would come to the conclusion he had. "Three weeks ago I was sick so we didn't do it. Your body is abnormal so I was thinking of the possibility of something changing inside you." The blond blanched at the thought knowing if that was the case he might as well be celibate. Izaya pretty much made a mess inside him every time. "Those are the three theories." Shizuo blinked counting on his fingers.

"That's only two. What's the third?" At first his lover didn't respond the uncomfortable silence filling the room again. "Izaya? You know I wouldn't cheat on you, don't you?"

Only his first question was answered. "The third is that someone touched you without your permission. Shizu-chan..." The raven trailed off. Shizuo heard rustling behind the sofa, Izaya slowly standing and walking around the sofa tense. "Did anyone force themselves on you?"

Shizuo flinched back at the suggestion. "No! No one else has touched me."

"Have you taken any sleeping pills? Maybe drank some alcohol by mistake?" The blond shook his head disapproving Izaya's theory.

"Damn it. This doesn't make sense!" Izaya snapped glaring at him. "Are you sure? Dotachin drinks a lot, maybe he-"

"Flea, don't. There hasn't been anything d-" Shizuo cut himself off. Everyday was the same. Take Emi to school, have a few sweet treats with Celty, then he would go back home busying himself until it was time to pick up his daughter. He would go to work and then straight home. It was practically the same everyday.

Except...that day. "Shizu-chan! What is it?" Shaking his head the blond tried to put the thought from his mind. It couldn't be, she wouldn't do anything to him. Besides that Mika was a woman. Yet it was the only abnormality in his routine. Clenching his fist he stared at the puppy yipping at his feet. "Shizu-chan?"

"...I helped out one of the regulars a friend of mine. That night she was upset and drank a lot." But it wasn't anything to do with Mika, it was only a coincidence. Celty wouldn't do anything to harm him. "I was worried so I left the bar to check on her. She was being attacked so I intervened. She was too drunk to get home safely so-"

"You took her home." Izaya finished taking a seat next to him. "Then what?" Shizuo bit his lip remembering what had happened and knowing exactly how Izaya would see it. "Shizu-chan!"

"We had a drink- nothing alcoholic and then I fell asleep. I woke up in the morning and came back home." The raven's eyes darkened lips set in a thin line.

"...who? Who is this friend of yours?" Was the question finally asked.

"She wouldn't do anything, flea." Izaya was having none of it. "I don't know her surname. She likes to be known by Mika."

"Mika?" His lover asked slowly. "What does she look like? How and when did you two meet?" Question after question was fired at him. Izaya had found a new scapegoat.

"You're wrong. Mika had nothing to do with this." Shizuo groaned leaning forward hands clutching at his belly. A gentle hand rested on his back rubbing in small circles. Closing his eyes he told Izaya about the friendship he had kept a secret.

x-x-x

"You didn't think that was weird?" Izaya accused helping him into the bed. Shizuo shrugged at his limit. Crawling into the bed he flopped down against the soft mattress letting his lover undress him. "A woman who doesn't give her last name, looks like Celty and doesn't talk wants to be friends with you. It didn't cross your mind? No of course it didn't." Izaya continued. "Do you remember where she lives?"

Shizuo shook his head more of a twitch thanks to his morning sickness. "She has nothing to d-"

"So you keep saying. Get some sleep, this can't be easy for you." The blond blinked looking up at his lover. Izaya was smiling though the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Shinra will come and check up on you."

"Where are you going?" Shizuo grabbed Izaya's wrist keeping his troublesome lover in place. Izaya was angry but that anger wasn't directed at him.

"I need to go and see Shiki-san." Staring into those sharp crimson orbs he couldn't see anything amiss. Besides it wasn't like the raven could track Mika down just by first name alone. Slowly relaxing his grip, Izaya smiled down at him placing a chaste kiss against his lips.

"I've just been sick, flea." The blond muttered pulling the covers up higher.

"So? Do you want some mints?" His lover teased. With a soft growl he swatted Izaya's hand away.

"That's not what I meant."

"I know. Get some rest." The hand on his forehead felt cool. Pregnant. It was really happening. Worse still Izaya believed the child wasn't his. "I'll be back soon." Shizuo nodded a yawn escaping him. He hadn't realised he was so tired, though he knew it was thanks to his lover not being in the room. Raising his hand he caught his lover's fingers as they traced along his jawline.

"Do-" Shizuo paused hearing the puppy barking frantically.

"Just the door." Izaya stepped back turning from the room. Shizuo watched him go knowing the subject hadn't been dropped. His lover was on the war path and Mika was in the firing line. Pushing himself up the blond's eyelids fluttered consciousness fading.

x-x-x

"Mi- Celty?" His best friend was sitting on the edge of the bed holding a paper bag with a stupid drawing of Shinra's face. "Hey." Shizuo sighed softly. "Guess you heard..."

The voiceless woman clutched her phone eyes damp with worry. It was him who placed a hand over the smaller fragile one trying to calm her down. "I'm alright, I'm more worried about Izaya." The blond soothed.

_Shinra said it was pretty tense last night. _Shizuo didn't deny it. Last night had been awful. Once Izaya had accepted that he hadn't cheated that cold sharp gaze left him. _Are you okay? _

Pulling himself up the blond nodded taking the bag from Celty. It contained the medicine Shinra had said he would prescribe. "I've been better. Did Izaya say anything?" His lover would've had to wait for Shinra or surprisingly Celty to arrive. Tucking his knees in Shizuo rested his head on his knees. "Celty, he doesn't think this child is his. It can't be anyone else's."

_I know. Shinra said Izaya was obsessed in making sure you didn't get pregnant again. The fact that it didn't work must have been a huge shock. _Shizuo frowned reading what Celty had typed. Obsessed? Again his thoughts went to Mika. Surely Izaya wouldn't harm her...

"Celty. I need to check on someone, can you come with me?" Shizuo remembered the general direction of Mika's apartment. his friend tilted her head in question. He knew what the message would say before he even read it. _Will you be okay? _Shizuo didn't answer already slipping from the bed and reaching for his clothes. There was a bad feeling his gut and it wasn't due to morning sickness.

x-x-x

Shizuo leaned against the window giving instructions to the cab driver. His head hurt trying to remember where he had been that night. "Wait. stop here." The car slowed to a halt giving him enough time to get out of the car. Paying the driver the blond groaned wobbling slightly. Celty's hand pushed against his back helping to support him.

_Is it here? _Shrugging in response his gaze fell to the familiar limo belonging to his boss. It wasn't the fact that Shiki was parked outside of an apartment that had drawn his attention but the fact Izaya had said he was going to see Shiki. "This way."

Together the pair of them walked into the apartment apprehensive of the two gorilla like men standing at the entrance. Keeping his head low Shizuo walked past them his goal was finding Mika as soon as possible.

His path was blocked by his laid back work colleague. "Hanejjma-no neechan. What a surprise." Shizuo glanced at the door he knew he had left after that night three weeks ago. "What are you doing here? And who is this lovely lady?"

The red head stood in the centre holding out his cane. "This is my best friend, Celty Sturleson. I'm here to visit another friend." Taking another step Shizuo tried to get past. "Akabayashi-san, what is Izaya doing? Whatever he told you and Shiki-san..." It wasn't true. Mika was innocent.

"Hm, Shiki no danna won't be happy with this." Akabayashi took a step to the side letting him pass. "There are some things you need to see for yourself." Thanking the man Shizuo hurried to Mika's apartment hoping Izaya hadn't done anything bad. The door was wide open with two more of Shiki's men standing outside.

"Izaya! What the hell are you doing?" Shizuo growled storming into the room. Shiki didn't look surprised to see him but his lover glared at Celty as if she was supposed to stop him from leaving the house. "I told you she was innocent."

Mika was sitting at the table the two men standing over her. The young woman was in tears. "Shizu-chan, you should be resting. We'll discuss this at home." Celty was standing in shock her mouth open staring at her double.

_S-she looks like me. H-how is that possible? _The phone began to shake in Celty's hand. Shizuo sighed knowing it had been a bad idea to bring her. There were myths about what would happen to people that saw their own doppelgänger. Stepping in front of the crying woman he refused to move.

"Shizu-chan, move."

"No. I told you she had nothing to do with this. What is the point of threatening her when she can't even speak?" Shizuo could feel the light tug on his pants. Both Shiki and Izaya were silent looking at him with something akin to pity.

"Orihara-san, you should be resting in your condition." Shiki spoke making him feel like a child. Shizuo grit his teeth trying to stop Izaya from getting past him.

"Flea, don't you da-" one look from his lover silenced him. Turning around he watched as Izaya stopped in front of the young woman. "She can't talk. Give her a pad or phone to use." Izaya only sighed shaking his head. His lover grabbed Mika's wrist bending it up behind the woman's back, one hand slamming her head against the table.

Shizuo watched in horror at what the man he loves was doing, especially since Mika looked exactly like Celty. What was that saying about what the flea thought of his friend. A small scream of pain made him freeze his hands falling to his sides hearing a small whimper. "Stop. It hurts."

"I'm sorry Shizu-chan." The woman he thought was his friend was released where she stared at the floor avoiding his startled gaze. That soft tone hadn't belonged to anyone else in the room. "Her appearance has changed but this is Harima Mika."

Shizuo stood frozen feeling empty. "Orihara-san, perhaps it would be best for you to lay down." He could feel Shiki's hand on his shoulder squeezing in a rare show of affection.

"...you can talk? You're not mute?" He asked in disbelief.

"I'm sorry." The woman cried looking up at him with tears streaming down her cheeks. "Please don't leave me alone with them." Turning away he let Shiki and Celty guide him from the room. "Shizuo-san! Please!" The front door slammed behind him.

Next:- Difficult choice


End file.
